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Another installment...

la_dulce_vida's picture

So, as y'all know, Mr. "Cats are a dealbreaker" aka "K" and I are just friends.

After the first week of us communicating a LOT and seeing each other 3 days in a row, communication dried up. After about a week, I sent a single text asking if he went to an area bluegrass festival as he'd mentioned he would like to go. He did not go to the festival. Sending him a text is like unkinking a kinked-up fire hose. It always triggers a waterfall of communication. LOL And he called me to chat on the phone during his drive home from work. When he calls, the call rarely lasts less than an hour.

Then, nearly another week went by and I sent a single text asking if he'd heard about one musician we like having her set interrupted at the bluegrass festival. Cue the cascade of communication. It went on for a bit and was fun, but I had to sign off because it was late and I was dozing off. This was last Wednesday.

He knew that I was going bike-packing this past weekend with a group of friends. We rented an historic lockhouse and 6 of us converged on it (4 on bikes, 2 drove there). I was trying out all of my practically brand new bike-packing gear. It was a great success.

Since I had reached out twice in the previous two weeks, I decided I was going to drop the rope and see if he picked it up.

Sidebar: the trip was great. It was just under 37 miles each way. We biked up and my setup was fairly light due to not needing camping or cooking gear. It was GORGEOUS weather and I biked with a friend from my local cycling club. Other than a bee sting/bug bite on the way up, the trip was nothing but fun-filled, and we celebrated one friend's birthday, had a campfire and a slumber party.

As I finished my ride on Sunday, I got a text from K asking about the trip, requesting photos and admitting he'd been watching on Facebook for me to post about it. He was also inviting me to a free concert event near to my other house - something my friends and I often do. I called him on my ride home and he didn't pick up, but true to form, he called me back and there was a ton of communication.

I told him my friend L was going to the free concert in the park (this is the gal I was trying to fix him up with but he noticed she's not big on affection). He asked me to give her his contact info so they could connect at the event. Apparently, his Christian singles group was attending that night. I told him I didn't really feel up to making the 1 hour drive just after getting back from a weekend of cycling about 72+ miles.

He went on to tell me about a bluegrass festival in a couple of weeks - but I reminded him it's father's day weekend and he remembered that his son is visiting and bringing the grandkids. Then he adds that the weekend after that, he's staying at a friend's cabin in a part of West Virginia that I love. My dudes, he was inviting me....and anyone from my friend group. LOL

I had to turn down his invite because I've got a cycling event that weekend with all my people - like the WHOLE crew.

Found out this morning that he and L DID connect at the event. They apparently chatted the whole time. She claims all he talked about was me, but I am not sure I believe her. She does this kind of thing all the time - she cannot fathom anyone being interested in her, yet she's a lovely person.

But the best gem is that, during our phone call, yesterday, he mentioned the cats again and clarified that it's really only long haired cats that upset his allergies. *snort* Both of my cats are domestic short-haired cats. He didn't say that short haired cats DON'T upset his allergies, but he was definitely qualifying his previous comments.

I am beginning to think some of you may have been right about the situation - that maybe the cat thing isn't really THAT big of a deal.

But, that's for him to decide. Until then, we can just be friends. LOLOL

Stay tuned.

Comments

ESMOD's picture

Well... you are right.. his allergies and the extent to which they might affect him are HIS issue to deal with and decide over.  

Your issue to deal with are whether he is a person that you enjoy having in your life or not.. even if it's not romantic.  

I know his energy level isn't a perfect match.. but it sounds like you are enjoying the talks etc.. while not sitting at home staring at the phone waiting for it to ring (yes.. youngsters.. we used to do that.. no cells  haha)   But he doesn't have to be a match to enjoy his company as a friend.. and you have lots of friends.. but one more never hurts to expand your circle!

la_dulce_vida's picture

He seems to have calmed down considerably. So, there's that. I think it was nerves and enthusiasm over meeting someone new, BUT now that we're solidly in the friend zone, he seems a bit more relaxed.

I do enjoy having him as a friend. I'm enjoying all of my friends VERY MUCH and I don't feel, right now, that much is missing from my life.

I am sure I made the right decision to leave and end the relationship. As much as I love him, I don't really believe he loved me to the same degree.

Dare I say it: I'm content at the moment.

ESMOD's picture

Content is a good place to be.  While I get not being overjoyed that a relationship has ended.. it's good that you are at the point where you understand that it may have been for your best interest that it was.  

I do think that your new friend could have been a bit overzealous in his communication when first meeting someone.. it's easy to do.  It sounds like you are enjoying that friendship.. and probably a bit of the undercurrent. haha.. no saying you can't.

Rags's picture

Good enough, is always... good enough.

You can stay in the good enough zone until the zone changes.  When it changes, adjust accordinly.

Until then...

Enjoy!