OT - Potty Training - Need advise please!
DD is 20 months old...I know it's a bit on the early side to start potty training her, but I feel like she may be ready. Also she's a diaper digger (with poop) so I'd like to potty train sooner rather than later, plus we just had to transition her to a toddler bed because she was starting to try to climb out of her crib.
Anyways, there are days where I KNOW she needs to both pee and poop. Like if she didn't poop at daycare ALL DAY, and after dinner is a pretty regular time for her to poop. I'll sit her on the potty, and we'll read books etc. she's fine being on the potty, but will not do anything. I try giving her juice and keeping her happy but still nothing. Finally after a while she gets upset and I let her get off, and she'll go in her diaper within a couple minutes. One time I caught her (right after sitting on the potty) mid-poop and tried to put her back on the potty...she wouldn't finish 
Anyways, I see lots of tips on how to get kids to not have accidents etc. and to encourage going on the potty, but mine won't go even once for me to celebrate! I think after she goes the first time and we make a big happy celebration of it she'll be pretty on board, but I don't know how to get her to go the first time!
Any advice is appreciated 
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A big reason I think she's
A big reason I think she's ready is that she will go to a quiet place to poop, then come and find me and tell me "poop" and run to her room, grab a diaper out of the drawer and try to climb up on her changing table.
I totally understand that she's quite young still and might not be ready, and I'm okay with that too. But I feel like she very well might be ready, but I don't know how to get past this first step! I feel like we an't really tell until we can get her to go on the potty in the first place!
I didn't potty train either
I didn't potty train either of my kids- when they were old enough they had a trainer toilet seat but that was all... both dry all day before they were 3 years old. Could never see what all the fuss what about...
I think adjusting your
I think adjusting your expectations and making them clear is important. 20 months is too young to expect a child to disrobe, climb up onto a toilet, do their business, wipe, dismount, and dress again.
I think what you want is for her to tell you when she wants to go, then you will assist with clothing off, lifting onto toilet, lifting back down, and dressing again.
That is possible, but really depends a LOT on personality. That worked sometimes with my extremely social DD, because she liked the social reward of, "Wow! What a big girl! Congratulations!"
Mostly, it did not work with her because she is too independent. It's putting YOU in control when she has to ask you to do xyz for her to succeed.
What does work, in general, is to make using the toilet a routine. So you can ask her at pre-set times per day, "Ok, we're going to leave the house/just came back/just woke up/getting ready for bed now and it's time for me to use the toilet. Do you want to sit on the toilet first today?" And see how it goes.
Once my kid was mostly toilet-trained (if we were home all day, no issues, but couldn't hold it when oot-and-aboot), we didn't leave until she at least sat on the toilet to see if any pee would come out.
Oh I definitely don't expect
Oh I definitely don't expect her to go independently...and in all honesty my question/post is really about just trying to get her to go on the potty, not about totally potty training her.
I get that she may very well be in diapers for quite a while still, but she seems ready to at least introduce to potty training. I think now's a good time to get her to go on the potty and start working on using the potty more frequently. Once we've mastered her going on the potty then I'll have to gauge where she's at with getting rid of the diapers.
Well, you make going on the
Well, you make going on the potty super-awesome, and totally up to her.
She's a separate person. It can be tough at this age for parents to recognize what their kid wants or doesn't want - they are able to communicate, but their minds are far ahead of what they can articulate to us. So a big part of your job now is to give her the tools, and the space, to communicate. There is no prize for having a 20 month old who goes on the toilet, although some moms will act like it matters. But you will face this your entire mom-life. Life is not a competition, and even if it were, your kid didn't enter the race.
Just do your best to make using the potty fun, and give her encouragement if she says yes, and a pleasant/neutral response if she says no. That's all it takes - for a lot of parenting stuff!
A lot of the kids in BS2's
A lot of the kids in BS2's Montessori class are potty-trained already, but it's a very gradual and child-led process. And it involves a LOT of wet/poopy underwear to wash. Here's a link if you are interested in trying it. http://www.themontessorinotebook.com/montessori-approach-toilet-training/
BS4 was about 3.5 when he was finally fully potty trained. He was using the toilet to pee shortly after 2 (getting to pee outside in my parents' woods was a key motivating factor. No using the pee tree outside unless you also use the potty inside when we aren't on the farm.) He didn't poop on the toilet because he had some constipation issues as a toddler and associated the pain of constipation with sitting on the toilet. Once we were finally able to overcome the constipation ("strawberry" prune juice is a wonderful thing
) we were able to show him that the toilet wasn't the cause of the pain.
Nephew3 just completed potty training as well. He also didn't want to poop in the potty - for no apparent reason. Bro & SIL gave it about 4 months of Nephew wearing underwear but asking for a diaper at poop-time before they just flat said no. There were a couple of accidents after that and now Nephew3 goes on the potty for everything.
IMHO the hardest part about potty training early is that the kids don't have the vocabulary to express their feelings very well. BS4 could tell us "No potty!" when he was 2, but he couldn't tell us why. We thought he was just being stubborn but he had a reason. He just couldn't tell us until he was older.
Back in the day when moms
Back in the day when moms were stuck washing poopy cloth diapers all the time 20 months would have been considered a late start for potty training. The affordability and availability of disposable diapers gave way to the idea that toilet training should be child-led. Unless children have devolved over the past several decades I think you're fine potty training a 20 month old as long as you have the time to dedicate to it. I potty trained both my daughters at 24 months and they did fine.
cool, thank you! We haven't
cool, thank you!
We haven't really give a word yet to a fart/toot so that may be difficult to communicate to her. But in the past she's farted on the potty and I've praised her a lot and she's laughed like crazy and kept doing it, so maybe that is a good starting point!
DD is totally food obsessed so I'd like to encourage her to go by offering her a treat, but I think she's just get frustrated and have a tantrum and in the end make it a negative experience.
Mine is three next week and
Mine is three next week and has crapped her pants six days in a row. I am a total loss here. I feel ya
I don't believe potty
I don't believe potty training should be child led. That right there gives the child the "power" over the situation. A good prep on the parents part generally works very well. Buy potty training movies and books WAY before you plan to potty train. I highly recommend the Elmo Potty Time.
https://www.target.com/p/sesame-street-elmo-s-potty-time-dvd-video/-/A-1...
It alone potty trained my youngest nearly 2 months before her second birthday. She had been watching it for about a year. Out of 3 kids I've potty trained, none of them liked the little potty chairs. They all wanted the kind that sits up on top of the toilet.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Sesame-Street-Soft-Potty-Seat/45931518?action...
I also hung a potty sticker reward chart right above the toilet paper on the wall, nothing fancy. Stickers worked way better than treats or prizes for my kids and SD.
A lot of people will say 20 months is too young. It might be for your daughter, or it might not. Both of my kids were fully trained between 2-2 1/2 years old. (22-30 months)
Out of curiosity, what is
Out of curiosity, what is wrong with giving kids 'power' over whether/where they poop or pee? Or about any decision that you are not personally invested in?
Not intended in a snarky way, just genuinely curious since I have basically the opposite approach.
Spot on Echo!
Spot on Echo!
Echo, you are so right it's
Echo, you are so right it's frightening. Trying to make a 2-2.5 year old go by any means other than encouragement is the same as slamming your head in a door repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
Sounds very sensible to me-
Sounds very sensible to me- I've never understood sitting a child in a lounge room and adult clapping and cheering them- this does not happen in the adult world and most kids know this!
20 months is NOT too young at
20 months is NOT too young at all. You should do the potty boot camp if you want her to start going now. Take away the diapers and stay at home with her naked or with underwear for at least 3 days. She'll have accidents, but after everyone, say, yay potty! and sit her on the potty. It'll seem like you are getting no where at first, but she'll catch on after the first day or day and a half.