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It finally happened.

Kloewent's picture

My 50 year old SD was found dead in her apartment this morning, evidently from a fentanyl overdose. Such a tragic waste of a life. My husband is distraught,  thinking he should have tried more, done something different. When you have addicts in your life you always keep that one little ember alive, hoping it will work out. I know I did with my mom. I am just glad she can finally find peace. As much drama, crises and pain she caused in our lives, she made her own even more miserable. Such a sad and heartbreaking life and death. I hope with time, DH will see that he did everything he could and more than most parents would, you can't fix people against their will.

Comments

Dollbabies's picture

he will see this as the silver lining it truly is.

I hope this doesn't sound too horrible. 

Rags's picture

My condolences to your DH and to you on the loss of his daughter.

Give rose

There is a long standing premise in STalk that a SParent cannot care more than the bioparents regarding Skids.  That logic is also true with caring about others including our own kids. We cannot care more about them than they care about themselves.

As heartbreaking as this outcome is, it opens a new horizon of healing and life quality for the rest of the family.

Again, my condolences.

Take care of each other.

JRI's picture

I know what you mean, a sad waste and her miserable.  Hoping your DH can get some peace once his grief subsides.

Felicity0224's picture

I'm truly sorry for everything your SD put y'all through. Having had multiple addicts in my family, I know the toll it takes to constantly be on edge expecting the worst. This is such a sad ending. I'm sure there must be some degree of relief, which makes the whole grieving process that much more complicated, but I hope your DH can ultimately find some peace and comfort in knowing his daughter isn't suffering anymore.

StepUltimate's picture

. . .. breathing a sigh of relief for you; I remember your blogs. Out of all the insane true stories on ST, yours is up at the top. I grieve for all that you've gone through, for your DH to have lost his daughter this way, and for her to have never gotten the gotten the clarity and peace of sobriety and living life on life's terms before succoming to a fentanyl OD. 

(((HUGS & a huge virtual bouquet of flowers)))

ESMOD's picture

I'm sorry for your family's loss.. I know that for you it's conflicted.. and sad.. a relief that the never ending cycle of chaos that an addict brings into a family is gone.. but sadness that she wasted a life that likely could have had promise...

All you can do now is assure your husband that he did all he could.  That Fentynyl is a drug that has taken first time users.. and long time addicts.. that we can't love an addict clean.. they have to want it for themselves.. and sometimes the drug is just too powerful.  I would encourage him to seek counseling.. maybe there are support groups for parents that have lost kids to addiction.. maybe online if he prefers to be more private about it (like this site is).

Hugs to you to.. I'm sure you are also grieving the loss in your own way as well.

 

AgedOut's picture

I am so sorry for this loss and so sorry for your husband's pain. I think no matter the age and no matter the circumstance, it is a horrific pain to lose your child. My heart goes out to all of you. 

CajunMom's picture

Drug addiction is terrible. My family has been impacted with that also. I pray your husband can see he did everything possible....Again, so sorry for this tragic loss.

classyNJ's picture

My condolences to you, your husband and everyone else that loved her. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Condolences to you and your DH. You must be feeling so many different things right now.

I hope your SD is finally at peace, and that your DH will find some as well.

Harry's picture

Gone through this myself.  You alwats think one day they will wake up and will be normal.  But it never happens.  He's also guilty knowing his genes caused thus or BM genes.   If you look at the family tree you will find odd members. 
 

greyskies's picture

My condolences to you at this time, however you wish to grieve is okay.  All we can do is the best we can with what we have and what we know at the time.  I hope you find peace in time.  

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I'm so sorry to hear this, Kloewent. I hope your husbnd can find peace through his grief. We went through the same thing last year with my stepbrother (my stepdad's son). He had been on and off of drugs and in and out of prison since his teens for drug related crimes. He had been through rehab at least 20 times and always stayed clean for a little while, but always went back. He was 54 years old when he was found dead on a street in a drug-infested neighborhood in a nearby city. The post-mortem toxicology report found alcohol, cocaine and fentanyl in his system. It was shock to us, but at the same time, not at all surprising. My 83-year-old SF blamed himself even though he knew he had done everything he possibly could to help. 

There is absolutely NOTHING more he could have done. Addicts can only be helped if they really want it, for themselves. If they want to use, they will, no matter what. I hope your DH understands this. He enabled her, but he is not to blame.

Take care of yourselves, and seek help if you need it.  ((((HUGS))))