I'm back
Hi, to all the cool people in the world who choice to become a step parent. It's been awhile since my last blog. Well I'm back with nothing really new just the same S(#T different day. Here the deal. After four years of courts battles and A TON OF MONEY!!! Child support has been set. You would think I would be happy, not so much. I should be happier that this is done, Right? And I'm not!!! Could someone please let me know why I'm not hapy.
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Why did it take four years
Why did it take four years to set CS? How many children and what was the CS set at?
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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
There is two kids. It took
There is two kids. It took those many years because BF didn't want to pay and fought everything my wife was trying to do. He was upset because custody was awarded to BM. Pry to meeting my wife they had a 50/50 deal. And the 50/50 worked like this 3 days with day, one with mom then 3 with mom and one with dad. I believe this probably worked well when the children were very young, but as children headed into school were do they call home. And if both households were equal in the way things are run it might work, but when the households are like night and day. So to answer your question. BF didn't want to pay for the children because he liked the 50/50 deal.
I dont know your story, but
I dont know your story, but I think we'd need more info.
I would love to provide more
I would love to provide more info, but it would take me days even months to give you the story from start finish. I will be gald to answer any questions you might have.
I think exhaustion has set
I think exhaustion has set in. I too thought the same thing at one point. How great my life would be once YSS dropped off child support and we'd have $521 coming back a month and less financial strain. Nope! My husband's lousy job cut his hours back to 35 hours a week and there went that money only a couple months later. Now YSS needs help with funding college and the vicious cycle starts all over again. I wish at times I were not such a pessimist but being a stepparent is the most thankLESS job I could ever take on. Christmas Eve was a HUGE disappointment for me thanks to YSD and her "entitled" DH.
At least you know what those child support payments are. My DH's 2nd ex was overpaid $7,000 because he didn't have the money to fight her when the 18 year old YSD dropped out of high school and moved in with her boyfriend. My therapist has seen how the longer I've been married to DH the worse things seem for my negative thinking to the point she gave me this book called "Feeling Good--the new mood therapy" to read. Yes everything starts with a thought but I just feel damned as some of these grown stepchildren treat me like chit and I still don't get DH to back me up and be their FATHER, not their friend.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you. Take some deep breaths. The worst of it is over unless the wench goes back and tries to reverse the decision. Focus on being a blended family and working on the marriage. I'm starting to journal my feelings so I don't lash out at my DH near as much plus it also documents the constant BS I put up with for my therapist when I see her weekly or every two weeks. Therapy has been a lifesaver to me. My YSD finally admitted she HURTS my feelings. Hasn't stopped her from repeating the behaviors but at least now she knows she will ALWAYS be called out on it from now on by me as I'm not a coward like her Dad.
***** Follow me on my blog! Me (41). DH (54). Married since May 2007. DS (9) from my 1st marriage where that husband is deceased. I have 6 grown stepchildren who do not live with us. 4 biological and 2 my DH helped raise with his 2nd wife.
Thank you, I've been
Thank you, I've been fighting going to a therapist, because of the cost and until recently EVERY frickng extra dime has gone to lawyers. The deep breaths no alonger work. I will try to find the book you spoke of.