Feedback on SD 7's HW
Prior to yesterday's rants. DH just told me that : BM doesn't want SM to get involved with the kid's HW. I told him from today on wards, HW are between( BM, DH & skids). He was upset about it and when SD brought the HW book (it is has a lined up HW for the whole week). He went upstairs (he did not help her). While on the other side, BM has requested DH to help with the kids HM as she will apparently have a church crusade as from yesterday till 22nd of this month.
Thank you for your warmth input on this matter. I'm glad I have strumbled upon this website.
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Yeah education of the
Yeah education of the children is one of the major flashpoints in the relationship. My opinion? DH and BM should be grateful for a step parent that is willing to step up and become engaged in the educational process in a way that one or both of them is not willing to. But it always inevitably leads to conflict because of differing styles of discipline and different parenting styles, added to the sheer rebelliousness of the step kid. So what is a poor step parent to do but just step back and let these little missiles of failure collide with their destined destination?
If it weren't so sad it would be laughable!
The Girhippo and Chef are failed parents in many aspects including education. I was told I was "mean" "too strict" and an "ogre" for saying that YSS should do his homework first before play.
So I backed off. YSS (the Houseshitter) is rounding the corner on 11th grade and he's reading at a low 4th grade level. His math is just as bad. (slow clap for the Girhippo and Chef)
Thinkthrice
It's sad how you were being portrayed as a mean SM just coz you were trying to enforce some plain rule.
Yes, well
they certainly showed ME (an experienced parent who raised two children w/o CS to successful adulthood) a thing or two.
It's sad that BM doesn't see
It's sad that BM doesn't see it in such way. Besides, I am not the one who is gaining here as its for SD future benefits. They says education is the key to unlock many opportunities.
This is one of those times
This is one of those times where you can't care more than the bio parents. If neither of them care about the kids homework, you can't drive yourself crazy. I would simply point out to my husband (if I was in your shoes) that if he doesn't care about the kids academic success now, fine but you will not be supporting a couple of failure to launch Skidults. He needs to A) get his balls back from BM and tell her that she has no say on what happens in your home and support you, supporting the kids or B ) Do it his own self.
As per our discussion, I pin
As per our discussion, I pin point may be 1 or 2 thing. I asked him:
Would he be happy if the skids happen to repeat grades? Or him buying new stationaries + school uniforms for repeaters. Apparently his father never been helped or encouraged him with school activities (in his opinions, its a woman jobs to ensure that the kid's education (mainly HW are completed).
Pardon me for pointing this
Pardon me for pointing this out.. but your DH seems to be kind of a sexist jerk. It is not unusual for men and women to take on all kinds of roles inside the home and out in the workforce. He seems to be quick to put you in the stereotypical female roles of cooking, housekeeping and child rearing. I guess you have to decide if you want to live like that.. or whether you can see him changing.
People like him tend to like to cherry pick the parts of 'good old days" they want to participate in. He likes those gender roles.. but I'm sure he likes your financial contribution now huh? He also has no problem with divorce which wasn't so acceptable back in the day either..
I'm not going to judge you if you prefer to stick within the gender roles more typically.. but it is hard to do when part of the equation involves children and a wife from a prior marriage.
U opened my eyes
He has this habit of stereotyping and pointing out what he used to be done back in the days (apparently his mom done a lot and he feels like this should be carry on). I always reminded him that I'm not his mom who tolerated everything.
This is a great site for many
This is a great site for many opinions and ways to look at things.
One thing I learned 15 years ago when I started as an EOW SM to full time is that you have to filter responses and then take what works for you and your family. After you have made your decisions as to what you are and aren't comfortable with, you then stand your ground with your DH/DSO.
So BM doesn't want you
So BM doesn't want you helping the kids with HW and your H could care less because it's a "womens job". So he's ok with just going upstairs and not helping his kids? Wow that really says a lot about him and those kids are screwed because their parents don't understand the importance of education. This is an opportunity to teach them about time management with school work, proper learning habits, and placing school work as a priority. If their parents are not invested why should they be?
This is setting them up for failure and both your H and BM will suffer from this.
#Siempremahatari
If it wasn't too much church in her mind, things would be better. She devoted her time to church than anything else. She's educated (I dunno why she is failing her kids in that manner).
DH doesn't really care apparently his parents didn't put much effort into him on how important education is.
I had same situation this
I had same situation this past week, the BM didnt want me to help so I didnt do anyyhing about it but SD did ask me for help though. I let BM handle that she can stress herself more
Kudos to her. Chi123
Kudos to her.
Chi123