Officially "done"
You know when you try your hardest to actually communicate with someone and they not only twist your words, but get so angry with you there is nothing that you can do/say in that moment because their eyes have glazed over with anger? Well...that's my husband. I've been really trying to communicate when something bothers me instead of bottling it up and when I feel justified in having a conversation with him (yes, I do realize this sounds bizarre) he immediately goes on the offense and defense and twists everything so that I am manipulated to questioning my own thoughts. I am taking on a whole lot being married to him. I work full-time. I have 2 of my own kids, and 3 of his kids (2 with special needs. One behavioral..AHHHH). All the sudden I am expected to be the cook, the maid, the taxi service, and the babysitter. I have tried confronting him about several things. One. I asked him is BM could drop off the kids when my DH is home so that I can have a short break when my own boys are with their father. He immediately twisted this into "if you don't want to see the kids then fine!" Two. I told him that I was only going to do my laundry and my kids' laundry from now on. We are still fighting about this one. Three. I can't handle yelling and swearing. When he talks to me when he's angry he talks to me like a kid. I feel stupid and like I am in trouble. I started counseling on Friday and finally said a few things that were on my mind (like please don't scream at my 2 year old son). literally screaming). He is not happy. He is quick to get angry. I am almost the opposite in that I am calm, quiet and HATE confrontation. I definitely feel like I am being taken advantage of. He says he loves me, but talk is cheap. I am crying all the time and he just doesn't seem to get it. He doesn't understand how much I work and that I am around kids ALL DAY. I teach full-time kindergarten for crying out loud. He makes a ton of money and would never hire a cleaner because that is "my job". My health is fading. My anxiety and stress is through the roof. I'll either have a meltdown, get fired, or die from stress by the end of the year.
- Katiemelanie's blog
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Comments
Sounds like he hired a live
Sounds like he hired a live in Nanny he can fuck, oh wait.... I meant MARRIED one.
I commiserate with where you are coming from. Were these issues present before you married? If they weren't addressed then, then he is likely angry that you are rocking the boat of the status quo which happens to be working quite well for him. You do all the work, he can yell and demean you and the kids.
Counseling is a great place to start. It's not your job to pull all the weight nor to be the whipping post for his anger and frustration. And WHO CARES how much he makes??? He can shove that up his pompous ass. I can't stand men who use the "but I bring home tons of money" as an excuse to mentally abuse and mistreat their partner.
That's the weird part. They
That's the weird part. They weren't there. And I'm looking back and TRYING to see any of the signs, but they aren't there. This is the part that is really confusing because I am holding on to the past.
(like please don't scream at
(like please don't scream at my 2 year old son). literally screaming).
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This would only happen one time. I would be gone or the man would be picking himself up off the floor.
Do not allow this man to ruin your childs childhood. Not even sure how you could stay with him while he abuses your child.
^^^What Willow said, all of
^^^What Willow said, all of it^^^ He'd be picking his teeth up off the floor.
^^^THIS^^^
^^^THIS^^^
The weird part is that he
The weird part is that he was. He was so loving and thoughtful and a great guy. I married him and about 3 months later everything changed. He can be loving and then change at the drop of a pin. I'm at a loss, but know that I need to put my kids first. It just makes me so so terribly sad.
This sounds like a very
This sounds like a very selfish man. Maybe you should take your kids and do a seperation, just so that he sees you do all these things for him and he repays you with nothing but anger and insults. Let him do it all on his own and see how he likes for a bit.
Katiemelanie: "I married him
Katiemelanie:
"I married him and about 3 months later everything changed. He can be loving and then change at the drop of a pin."
I highly recommend you read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. It should explain a lot of your husband's behavior. The sentence I quoted above was what tipped me off. That book helped me even more than therapy, although I went to therapy too to get help to work on being strong enough to leave my ex.
Just make sure you read it on the down-low. Don't let DH know about it. Get it on Kindle or something.
Good luck.