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Dear BF, F YOU!!!!!

kaseynboys's picture

Submitted by kaseynboys on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:09pm

***** Need to vent and am doing it via n unsent msg to BF****

FU#K YOU OK!!!!!!!! I put up with you pain in the ass brats allll day every day since you and their BM decided to pawn them off on me all F'ing summer (even though BM is a school bus driver and has the whole summer OFF and we were only supposed to have them for 1/2 the summer)!! Your daughters were so terrible today that I was literally CRYING when you came home from work. After I told you what happened, what did you do? You "talked" to them and told them to behave. WTF?!?!?!?!? My boys (twins age 12) are NEVER that misbehaved or disrespectful and yet they get punished to the point that they have to spend a month sitting at the kitchen table reading or doing homework for simply getting a D (in Music) on their report card for the first time EVER. Need I remind you that SD12 has never had a report card with less than 3 F's on her report card and that SS8 CAN'T READ!!!! My boys have been on the honor roll every year of their lives (with the exception of his past yr due to the D in music for one of them) and they are BOTH in Honors Math, Science, and Reading!! What punishment did your kids get after the Horror the put me and BD3 through today.... absafuckinglutly NOTHING!!!! "a talking too" PLEASE!!!! I am so f'ing done with you and your brats!!!! on more snotty word from them and their asses will be locked out of the f'ing house and their mom can come get them! I am so done with this bullshit!

Comments

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:11pm

Drive them back to BM's if your husband is at work and they cannot be controlled tell BM that they are not your responsibility but hers and give her, her children.

kaseynboys's picture

Submitted by kaseynboys on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:13pm

Nice thought, but you don't have to deal with the wrath of BF if I do that. Not to mention I don't even know their address since they moves 4 months ago.

gtrmom's picture

Submitted by gtrmom on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 9:40pm

Sorry to hear about your day, if I may... How does he act if you were to discipline them? How would BM react? Maybe if you become a drill instructor to them, then BM will think twice about leaving them with you! I mean, if BF is allowed to punish your kids why can't you do the same? My SD is not as bad, she has an attitude and I try to squash it, but DH is great when she really gets out of hand.

If I were you, I would definitely give them a taste of BF's medicine! Good Luck!!

Done WIth It's picture

Submitted by Done WIth It on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 1:38am

kasey....can you take his girls to where he works and drop them off? Let him know you can not tolerate their bad behavior and that it is upsetting the rest of the household.

He can keep them at work or he can call BM to come get them.

This is how you get everyone in the car. Say you're going to get some ice cream. Load everyone up on and the way, stop at husband's workplace. Be kind, be firm, hand them over...they're his kids. Doesn't matter if everyone sees and hears what's happening. You keep your voice calm, you let him know this is no other decision but to hand his girls over to him, you walk.

If he's in a meeting or away from his desk, leave the girls in the lobby or somewhere in the workplace.

Normally, I would suggest you first call husband and let him know how bad his kids are acting. But that probably won't get you anywhere.

So this is why you have to do the ambush on husband. Let him know you are serious and you are done with their spoiled brat behavior. ONLY, while others are watching, you remain cool and soft spoken. Don't embarrass your husband, get the sympathy from the other workers there by letting him know you are at the end of your rope and not able to last another 5 minutes with those girls.

Hopefully the humiliation of others in husband's workplace will be sufficient. Hopefully, husband will be embarassed and talk louder with his girls. He's not going to want that to happen again!

Now...if they return to you house and get smart....you load them up in the car, take them straight to his work, let him know their bad behavior is not acceptable and they are to stay with him the rest of the day.

He'll get the message.

If you're afraid of his response, that he'll harm you or your kids....they you've got another issue to consider that's more serious than his two brats behavior.

kaseynboys's picture

Submitted by kaseynboys on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 4:50am

ohhhhhhhhh how I would love to do this!!!!! But, no I can't for 2 reasons. 1, he is currently the only one working and I can not risk messing with his job. 2, I honestly think he would kick me and BD3 out of the house that very second and I still need to live here until the end of September when I can afford to leave him.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 1:59am

Why the HECK are women taking care of their husband's kids while they work? I just don't get it! They have A MOM AND DAD! That's IT! If THEY decided to divorce, that is THEIR problem...if they have nobody to take care of the kid, THEY need to find someone or pay someone...It's like all these freaking people find a spouse to HELP THEM RAISE THEIR KIDS...no, YOU MADE THE DECISION to divorce, YOU figure out who can take care of your kids...your new spouse is NOT your new & FREE baby sitter!

I would have NEVER tolerated that! DH HAS to work during summer...period. His problem, not mine. ONCE he dared ask about his kid visiting us during VC...to which I replied..."sure, no problem...find a sitter since YOU WILL BE WORKING or DO YOU PLAN TO TAKE VACATION and stay here with her?". That was the END of the conversation. If he was still alone he would have TWO options...1. not get his kid during summer or 2. PAY someone. Period. We as spouses should NOT be the free sitter for these people.

I am so sorry...I think you need to figure something out definitely...it is NOT your responsibility. If BM and DH were still married and they both worked, they would have had to PAY someone...remember the courts claim that the kids have a RIGHT to live as if "their parents never divorced where MONEY is concerned"...guess what? They should live that way for EVERYTHING...and that includes "oops, gotta go to daycare or pay a sitter!"

kaseynboys's picture

Submitted by kaseynboys on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 4:52am

I think I am going to print out your comment and leave it out for my BF to read!! Thank you!

Done WIth It's picture

Submitted by Done WIth It on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 2:53am

I did it without a second thought because I loved my husband and wanted his short time with his kids to be fun.

A lot that did since they don't have a thing to do with me. However, my husband is grateful I cared about his kids and did so much for them.

I guess that's what really counts.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 5:58am

What in the world happened to putting kids in camp during the summer?

Both parents are taking advantage of the SMs when they hatch the free nanny crap.
Do you have a friend you can staywith until you move away?

kaseynboys's picture

Submitted by kaseynboys on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 6:44am

Unfortunately no I don't. We moved here from my hometown (6 hrs away) to be in the same town as his kids. I don't know anyone here other than the 4 BM's of his 6 kids.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 8:47am

I know right? I do....and pay a pretty penny and go broke every summer-can't afford a vacation because of it.

DOes BM have to pay summer camp for her ONE child? (I have two). Nope, she decided to dump SD for 2 weeks, then another 4 weeks w/the bf, when he refused that amount of time his parents gladly agreed to it. WTF?? She should have to pay damn summer camp, I'm sorry, just like I do. The remaining time I guess the SD stayed w/Bm's mom or something.

Nope-no sacrifice, financial, time, etc...just throw the kid around at others to take care of. Bitches.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 8:00am

I went through the same hell for six years. Biodad:

1. never stood up to the BM
(he has never to this day and today makes EIGHT YEARS)

2. let the "chimp on crack" skids do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, namely run wild. (uber destructive, loud, no hygiene)

This is the order of priorities for biodad right now:

1. skids
2. BM
3. your BD with him
4. your kids and you

This is not good for your health and it is particularly bad for YOUR children to see the double standard.

You must start to disengage. There are many full time moms here who are in the same circumstances and have learned to disengage. Basically, the absolute minimum for his crotch droppings. While you focus on your children and your BD with him as you are responsible for THEM and not his.

If they make a mess, LEAVE IT! Just say "Biodad, I can't keep up with the skids, so can you be a dear and help me out with . . ." (point to large pile of pissed sheets, dirty dishes, etc.)

If he gets angrily defensive, just keep on disengageing more and more. I did not choose to "announce" my disengagement from GG's kids (the biodad I live with) as he can get VIOLENTLY defensive. When we got into fights about the behaviour he would say "FINE I'll cook the "angels" meals!" (special kid friendly junk food meals)

GG nor the Behemoth (the BM who IS a CPS worker) care not a whit about all three children's grades (they are all pulling Fs for every core subject and the fru fru ones)

But it's not my kid so if they want their children to become felons, so be it. Easier said than done, yes, b/c ultimately we ARE affected by the skids and biodad/BM's behaviour.

If biodad is not willing to see your side or stand with you as a united front, disengage. If it becomes so intolerable that you fear going insane, start to plan your exit. That is where I am now. Unfortunately I was stupid enough to get myself financially emeshed with biodad even though we are not married.

Whatever you do DO NOT MARRY or have ANY MORE CHILDREN with this guilty daddy!

www.steptogether.org/help.html