I really cant stand this kid. It starts with his mother of course. I don't like the kind of people they are. Lets start with today. I was wrong. I messed up. I was taking care of SS's hermit crabs. The ones he wanted that I purchased for him. Anyways... He left his choices book on the dresser. This is the work book he had to do because he was drinking and smoking pot. I read it and I am infuriated. Here is a list of crap that is in the book that just pisses me off and hurts my feelings. In this book it talks about who you go to for support. The only place his dad ranked was money. The only other person on his dad's side of the family was his grandpa and that was to fix a car. His mom ranked for everything else. (I have yet to see this woman do something good, IMO)So all his dad is good for is money. That's nice. Then in the process of reading this I found a theme in his answers. He doesn't care about other people. He doesn't think he should have to be involved in anybodies problems. Problems like people getting picked on, bullied, abused. I think this really shows a total lack of empathy and just overall not a good person. I have experienced this myself. When he told his mom that I called him a bum and several other names. She naturally went to the defense of her child in her way of solving problems. By being snarky, bitchy, and nasty about me in front of me and the kids. I was livid but held my cool hoping that my fiance would stand up to her. He made a few comments to her. Nothing along the lines of I don't call kids names, I wont be treated that way in home and she will not act that way. Moving on. At our next meeting away from the kids I did confront her. I told her I do not call children names, her son lied and that being snarky in front of the children is unacceptable. She flipped her lid and decided that SS wont be at the house anymore and that DH has never loved SS. Of course SS had no problems with this. Come christmas time he became oh dad I'm so sorry. Wouldn't say he was sorry to me because he didn't do anything wrong. The only thing he had to say about it was I hadn't learned not to mess with his mom yet. Ohhh this just made me irate. I can be just as much of a bitch as her I just make the choice to be a better person by working out my problems. Back to the book. The worst part of his grounding was having to stay home with me. Yep I'm horrible. What I think makes me so horrible is I actually pay attention to him. I clean my house and find where he left pot resin. I ask how he is doing in school. I just want this kid to go away. I have never associated with these types of people. I don't like the way the treat people. I can't stand the apathy to the world at large and the lack of empathy to your fellow humans. I don't know what to do. I am so happy that he decided to join the military and I can only hope that he leaves on his 18th birthday or sooner. I hate that I see him and his mother as poison to the world at large. I don't really see him changing anytime soon. His mom is the only person he looks up to and she is just as bad. She cheated on her spouse with my DH and the cheated on him throughout the entire relationship. Takes pride in being a bitch and has no problem with constant lying. I don't know how to deal with this situation. I really thought I would come here, be myself, and begin to form some kind of relationship based on mutual respect. I never wanted to be my step kids mother. I just wanted to be an adult that treats their father like a king and treats them with love and respect. Yes they have to follow rules, rules like picking up their stuff. I don't keep house like their mom. I clean. I believe your environment effects your person. You can feel the peace in my home when you walk in. I don't know what the hell this kids problem is and I don't know how to deal with it. I have tried to get him involved in spending time with his dad. I even stopped doing things that I knew made their BM angry and look bad. Things like getting up and making breakfast. I talked to dh about what he thought I should do. His answer was first is it really that bad. Yes being around people that I think are bad people is that bad. He wanted me to just hold it in and act as business is usual. So I have disengaged as much as I can. I love SD she and I are getting much closer. I don't like treating the two of them so different. It is hard for me to want to be a family with these people and having this kink. I am really lost.