I am so tickled with myself right now!
SOOOO.... SS14's school called. I guess they had his IEP and 504 plan meeting last week and we were never contacted.
BM is still claiming that SS has all the issues that I have already sent back to the school saying he doesn't have. I was expressing my frustration and the guidance counselor started really agreeing with me. It was really weird. She thought BM was full of it too and is disgusted that the state doesn't require medical proof for parents claims. She asked me how we felt about him being on the football team if he has connective tissue disorder? I laughed and said we are fine with football because he doesn't have the disorder, our issue is that BM has convinced SS that he does.
Then we talked about his "dyslexia". BM has him on special accommodations. So then I said, you know what, I am not even going to argue him having it. He doesn't, but we will pretend he does. I asked how far behind he was in reading.
He is 4 years below grade level.
Ok- so he has "dyslexia" and he is 4 years behind in reading, what is the plan for working with him? Is he working with an OT? Does he have a specialized tutor?
Well of course not. BM hasn't done any of that.
So I asked if the school had an OT on staff. Why yes they do! So, fantastic! SS will start working on reading with the OT.
Hopefully this chaps BM's ass at the same time helps SS get up to grade level for reading! Saying that your kid has a disability because you are a shitty parent and never worked with him is gross. He is lazy not dyslexic!
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My guess is, she does all of
My guess is, she does all of this in hopes of getting child support extended. And, given how everything has gone in your case, it will probably happen. Please don't take that in a snarky way... just dealing with small town bullshit... seems to be the way it goes.
Sorry for all the crud you and your family have to deal with.
Could be for CS but we feel
Could be for CS but we feel that is it all for disability. She is setting him up to be a leach like her. As long as she can get enough things documented in enough places, he will get awarded disability. The problem is we keep coming in behind her and debunking everything.
Ah yes... disability... the
Ah yes... disability... the free money train... no doubt she will want him to stay living with her (so she gets the money, of course!).
I hope you ARE able to keep him from being given disability; it chaps my hide when people that do not need financial assistance take it. It's a huge problem that is not addressed with enough zeal.
That being said, I hope during that time ss realizes he does NOT have all of these things wrong with him. It would be awful if he never did anything other than live with bm in that crappy small-town thinking he can't do anything and y'all prevented him from disability payments.
It's probably also about
It's probably also about wanting to keep him dependent on her forever.
SS’s BM did something like
SS’s BM did something like this. She refused to give him his ADHD medicine for a couple of months to tank his grades at school then tried to file for disability for him! The real MOTY guys!
Good Lord! Way to try and
Good Lord! Way to try and derail your child's future - their ENTIRE LIFE - so you can get free money.
I just do not comprehend behavior like this...
Me either! I want him to be
Me either! I want him to be the best he can! She however sees move money he can bring into her household. It didn’t work though just like the ploy to get more child support because she quit her job when she got pregnant didn’t work either.
I think shes about ready ready to let him come back with us because her bf doesn’t want him around and he’s messing uptjeir little family. *bad* She just can’t let go of the child support though
The daddy's girl stepdaughter
The daddy's girl stepdaughter was acting out at BM's house in response to her trying to PA her so she tried to get diagnosed with autism to explain her difficult behavior. She lied to the evaluator about how she was with food as a baby. Most she got was ADHD and sensory processing disorder. She is not SPD, this dx was given based on false history.
The girls were truant for 2 years. BM got out of it claiming only the girls were too traumatized to go to school following a day with their dad. She also paid them $100 a year each to go to school and they were still truant. She had lie after lie on reasons they didn't go to school and then the kids would just say "we just didn't want to go so we stayed home with mom".
3 of BM's 4 children are suicidal when they are in her care. She convinces them they are this way because they have bad dads. Their behavior due to her sh*tastic parenting method of them being her emotional crutch and being burden with her adult issues is always explained away with they have xyz mental illness and their dad abuses them.
I wished I saved the screenshot I had where she posted on facebook all these autistic behaviors that SD was doing and she had to give her pills in her sleep. People ate it up and believed she her to be a saint mother.
I can't believe you can be on disability for ADHD. She gets disability checks for one step and i'm sure she's trying to get it for the other 2. All of them are on IEP. 2 are on IEP's for math, guess what period they have to see the counselor to complain about their dad at mom's urging...math. One had even told me, i wish i could stay in class to learn math instead of talking to the counselor.
I've got more stories but I'm tired of letting that munchausen c u next tuesday stress me out.
This is the Girhippo's Game Plan
abdicate parenting, befriend your kid, let said kid fall 4-5 years behind then blame it on a "disability" or "disorder."
Poor Kid
BTW, ALL parents are to be notified of ARD meetings for IEP's so ALL can give up-to-date input, and know what, (if any) modifications will stay in place and are effective, and which ones will be eliminated. I was an ARD facilitator.
Great that the school has in-house tutorials. Please, please make sure there is a sign in sheet, or some other form of documentation for you to track. At the school I was at, we had a pull out program. The students were retrieved by the tutors, and a slip had to be signed and dated by the teacher and the tutor, and it also had the time frame the student was in tutorials. Also, depending on the state you live in, there are benchmark exams, state tests, report cards and gradebook grades you/DH should be allowed to see and get copies of. These are all academic measurement instruments that will reflect progress and growth. I just want you to have all bases covered. Sounds like you're going to need it.
Our state has a "no pass, no play" policy. I'm not sure how it works where you're located, but that may also be an "in home" policy you and DH adopt, and a motivator for SS to learn.
And yes, sounds like BM is trying to convince her son he has disabilities he likely doesn't have.
My youngest does
struggle with multiple learning differences and we have never even considered disability for her. The middle girl has a congenital eye condition and same thing...we didn't even and have never considered disability. We just did the work necessary to make sure they could live their best lives and would be successful adults. They are 16 and almost 18 and the youngest is at peer level in everything but spelling and the middle one has had the eye condition since birth and other than a potential future surgery she just works with it. She will graduate with her cosmetology license as well as her diploma in the Spring.
Also, the BM in your life should know that disability is incredibly hard to get and it likely won't happen until said child is well into adulthood.