Because she's a woman with no arrest history, she cried her eyes out, she has an attorney, and they bought her victim stories.  And they probably believe what she's told them - that her vindictive and abusive ex and his wife are trying to get her thrown in jail so they can take custody from her.

Yes, she is going to get away with it.  Because: Mother, COVID, Evil EX, misunderstanding, kid afraid of going to see dad, they are picking on her, they won't acknowlege SS's "real" issues....

I don't believe you are ever going to get the satisfaction you crave with this situation.  and... I think it has gotten to the point where the "win" against her.. the desire to make her pay.. has taken a real center stage in your motivations to pursue things.

It's not what is best for SS.. it's making her pay for lying.. for being difficult.. for not playing nice.  I mean, what is best for SS has become secondary to the fight against her.  

Don't get me wrong.. what she has done is PAS her child against his father.. she has made maintaining a relationship nearly impossible.  She has done some fairly underhanded things in this pursuit.. and this has cost your family time, money and emotional currency up the wazooo.

But.... to an extent, this was teed up by her doing certain things.. and your DH not doing anything at the outset (if I remember correctly.. she moved.. and he didn't realize it until much later... he was stationed elsewhere?)  So, he allowed (even though he may not have had as much control) this status quo.. and fighting to turn it upside down is a rough path.. especially with a teen in school.  

You do say that the court system is very small where they are.. so it's likely that this woman is well aware of the other court case issues.. and she may be trying to kindly tell you that trying to skewer the BM isn't going to gain you any points in that arena.

It's tough.. you have a lot invested.. but I don't believe BM will ever "pay" for her sins.  Possession is 9/10ths of the law and she posesses the child... so she is likely to micromanage and block her EX every chance she gets.. and to her the end justifies the means.

I think that you both need to stop having any hope that BM will ever have one thing done "to" her about any of this beyond a stern admonishment to be nice by a judge.  Your DH should take the visitation opportunities as he can get them.. attempt to contact via phone/text/email other times.  And.. keep all the documents of his attempts to maintain a relationship so he can enlighten an adult SS some time in the future.

But.. drop the rope of trying to get BM charged with contempt... honestly.. all it is doing is costing you guys money and time.. his lawyer is happy to take the fees.. but you are getting zero traction with this fight.

Honestly?  While BM's forgery is a big deal to you, it's not for the city attorney.  Bigger fish to fry out there.  I say this as someone who has worked in the legal community in various capacities for 30+ years.  

I completely understand and empathize with your frustration. My DH and I had to sit and watch Meth Mouth skate so many times on so many charges it was ridiculous.
If I can offer you anything, its that at some point she will get caught with something and she won't be able to just walk away from it.

We and several others reported Satan for posting a fraudulent scheme on GoFundMe.  It was felony fraud, easily proveable.  And of course she didn't get prosecuted.  The local cops asked me who I was, and were like, "Oh, the new wife, that's all we needed to know..."  I guess facts don't matter.  I knew it was a longshot anyway.  At least her campaign got shut down early.

Satan is, and will continue to be, a one woman crime wave.

I have a friend who used to work for the courts, and she said they almost never prosecute people for non-violent offenses when the offender is mentally ill.  It's too hard to prove.  Too much investment for very little results.  I don't get that, but okay.

The incident was highly embarrasing for Satan, though, because her father is semi-famous, and most of the people she bilked were his fans, and I made sure they knew she defrauded them.  All three lawyers from the family court case were made aware too, and her own lawyer dropped her shortly thereafter.  She probably won't try that particular scheme again.  It must be hard for her knowing she's being watched now, whereas before I came along she could do anything she wanted.  So there's that.

Over the years I have made Satan's life hell compared to how it was before.  It's easy to push her buttons, but I only strike when I know it will have an impact.  Otherwise I rarely think about her.

Your only priority now should be making sure she doesn't get SS on SSDI.  If she does, your DH will pay lifetime CS.  Ignore everything else she does, she gets off on playing cat and mouse with you.

I'm looking at this differently.

The city attorney has to decide to try the case based on the facts that matter to the case. If you keep calling, asking, telling her about other things, etc then IF she decides to pursue it, she may have to recuse herself because she's too involved. Or BM's attorney will skewer the city attorney for "siding" with you all versus doing her job to protect the health department.

You all weren't the victims of the forgery. SS still showed up, and if anything, that helps the city attorney because clearly BM wasn't *that* scared if she sent him anyway. The victim, or plaintiff, here is the health department who got defrauded.

So, stop calling the attorney. You aren't her client. If you really want to take BM down, inform the media AFTER the city attorney doesn't take up the case IF the city attorney doesn't take up the case. But don't harass the city attorney anymore because then YOU become problematic, and with so few judges in that part of Kansas, YOU don't want to be known as the one causing problems.

I am so sorry this happened.  But it is what happens, unfortunately.  I was hoping this case would be different.

My SS was about the same age as yours is when we dropped the rope.  It wasn't worth pulling on him so that he was tugged on constantly by one side or the other - we were not going to get the relationship with him that we both wanted, no matter what.  We were never going to win.  BM got what she wanted.  My DH ended up paying CS off early due to her constant crises and need for help and my DH's refusal by that point to give her money in any other way than through the CS agency, which became a future credit against what he owed.  Due to her terrible planning, constant job losses and really -- just her being her - BM was homeless for over a year.  SS-then 18 lived with us during that time.  She got him back in order to have someone pay her bills.  Now he takes care of his Mom at the age of about-to-be 21.  She loses jobs as often as I put gas in my car.  SS has had the same dead end job for two years and it pays their expenses, because she trained him that way.  

When CS ends, it will be something else. She is trying to train him to help/serve her later in life.  Probably through SSDI due to "EDS" so she thinks he will give her his money.  I would not fight the diagnoses she wants him to have anymore either.  I would let him be diagnosed.  You can't stop her.  At some point he will want to do something - like join the military -- and it will limit him.  That may be the only time he questions Mom's perspective or looks at what she is doing to him.

Pay CS.  Drop the rope.  Stay friendly with the SS and live your lives.  It's the best choice we ever made.  Really.  My DH gets upset about his son's immaturity and lack of proper development in social, academic, career and independent ways sometimes and then just says "his choice, her choice.  I tried." and gets back to living OUR life.  No matter what, they are still living a miserable life enmeshed together, dependent emotionally and financially in inappropriate ways on each other.  That really is the worst punishment -- the thing they both worked so hard to get.  

It is a terrible sadness what these BMs do to their children -- and the courts, schools and many other systems allow it.

The city attorney is also a HCGUBM.

We dropped the rope last year. My SS is only 8. BM has alienated him to the point that he believes that BM and her GF are his parents. SS still loves DH and wants to spend time with him, but he doesnt view him as more than a family member. He has no desire to see DH more than is court scheduled and BM has made him believe he couldn't handle more time. We have tried everything, but BM desires constant conflict and it was ruining our lives. The abusive and constant emails were too much. She argued about literally everything. We had been accused of medical fraud, neglect, threatened with CPS multiple times and finally she accused my BIL of sexual misconduct. All of which were false. DH took her to court as the last ditch effort to straighten it out, but it didn't happen. The courts basically said "it is what it is" and to move on. DH spent like $40k on a year long court battle that got us nowhere and our attorney happily took our money. The judge basically told him to pay CS, take your visitation, and stop fighting. 

We are on a long distance schedule with SS. Only see him 6 weeks per year and BM always tries to make planning for those 6 weeks hell. We don't fight her anymore. It isnt worth it. She still sends him but not without rearranging the whole schedule and making it hell. Some people just need to control and to be high conflict their entire lives. We just keep loving SS and remaining consistent. We see him when we are ordered to and no more. If he ends up turning into a high conflict adult who has narcissistic tendencies, then so be it, BM raised him. Ideally, he will realize why we were distant in adulthood. Maybe he will realize BM for the person she is. DH is keeping all the court evidence for the day SS shows up asking why DH didnt fight harder or see SS more. These are all hard feelings to handle. DH and I are trying to figure out how to accept what is, which feels like giving up on a child that we both love so much. Especially when BM doesn't care about SS, only using him as a pawn and ignoring him the rest of the time. It feels wrong to give up on him, but do we pursue it to the point that it ruins us both emotionally and financially? DH and I both feel traumatized emotionally. So no, we let life play out and focus on ourselves. Go to counseling. It really helps. 

I believe in karma. I believe that when SS turns 18 and BM loses CS and control over DH, she won't know what to do. That she won't be able to afford the luxuries she does now on DH's dime.  I believe that people like this explode their own lives and she will likely end up alone. BM may keep winning now, but eventually it will come to her. 

Can you ask the police department for a copy of the investigation report? This way you will have something proving that bitchface was being investigated for forgery.

But if this guy can be arrested for "attempting to defraud" and it was with counterfeit annulment papers why can't your DH be the "victim" due to BM attempting to defraud him out of time with the SS. 
 

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/married-texas-police-chief-accused-...