So as I have posted earlier, I have moved out of my bf's house as I cannot handle being in this horrible situation anymore. It has been about a month and the bf just won't let go. I thought that we could still be friends because we have known each other for over six years, but I'm thinking that that just cannot happen and I need to cut him off all together. In the last month he still sends me good mornings and goodnight texts and he misses me and he still wants to make this situation work and all this. And to be honest I haven't totally stopped him of this like I should have. But I believe now I have to. I sat down with him last Sunday and told him that if he wanted to make this work I was not going to be a part time GF and that he had to tell his dd12 that(when she asks who is going to be at the house) that I live there (even though at the moment I don't) all the time and that she is more than welcome to come over, but I am always going to be there. I felt like if he didn't nothing would ever change and the DD and BM are always going to have control over this situation and I really would get totally kicked out of the equation and my bf would for the next 6 years minimum be miserable. He said that if he did that that dd12 would just not come over. This is when I came to my senses and just said then lets be done all together because he is never going to choose me over his daughter (which is how he puts it not me, I don't believe it is a choice. I think she is just acting like a spoiled brat and is being influences by a b*tchy BM and he needs to just put his foot down like I have said before and eventually, she will come over whether i'm there or not). Anyways, I told him we should date other people and obviously our timing is just bad. I also told him that I did not want to hear anymore about his BM or the daughter because I cannot handle it and most of what is said is pure bullsh*t. (For instance, my parents bought a cabin on a lake around here and then found out it was next to the BM uncle. The BM found out somehow and text bf and said OMG I can't believe your whatever she is bought a house by (BM LAST NAME) turf, what a creeper. WTF. Like I can determine where my parents want to but property and like they look into who is their neighbor, not to mention I didn't know the lake was called (BM LAST NAME)! When he told me that it infuriated me. ) So I told bf that unless it was something that I needed to know I DON'T want to know and vent to someone else because I honestly just feel helpless in that kind of situation.
Well last night I was calling EX BF because I was still doing the friend thing and was seeing how his day went and was going to ask to borrow something for my house and I called him, he didn't answer, so I called one more time and was going to leave a message. He picked up and I could tell within his first word he was upset. I asked him how his day was and he snapped at me and said something and then started to tell me that his ex and DD was calling him and whatever and so I said okay I will leave you alone, goodnight. He then started texting me the conversation about the BM saying he was an a**hole because his DD had no father and that she wants this weekend to be just her and bf and how dare you not give her that and that she is going to call a lawyer because this is mental abuse.
Now I have been listening to you all on here and your opinions because all I said was what do you want to do. He replied, hide under a rock. I then said that he had told me last time trying to get me back that he was no longer going to let them control his life and that why is it so horrible if I am there. I have been around for the last 4 almost 5 years now and that until last Nov. the dd has been just fine around me and I have done nothing to her and it is not the end of the world if I am there. I said that she is crying because she is not getting her way and he was letting his BM and DD control the situation, but he should do what he wants. I also said that I got that he was mad but it wasn't fair to snap at me and I haven't done anything but listen and try to help which I was done doing because he didn't really want it in the first place. He text me that he didn't snap and good night. I got angry than and put just leave me all together then, problem solved.
I was up all night because I couldn't sleep. I know he is going through crap and I want to be there for him, but I can't hear about anymore of this stuff. All it does is piss me off because while I opinions about how I would do it, he doesn't really want to hear them, he just wants to unload it on me and I'm not okay with that. I have asked him to not tell me and that is all it seems like he is doing. I believe that he needs to man up honestly and tell the dd that I am here and when she is ready and wants to come see her dad that she is more than welcome, and that's all he needs to say. He shouldn't try and hash things out because they won't be and he needs to not speak to the BM at all. He needs to ignore her, she is mainly just pissed off because she now had dd most of the time, but I feel like she started this mess and now she should lie in her bed! If anyone has any better ideas I would love to hear them, otherwise I think I really just need to end this relationship all together because I will not lose another night of sleep over this b*llsh*t.