OMFG…. I tried to be optimistic!!!!!
I am fffing fuming right now!!!!!! Seriously!! I knew it was too good to be true and DH caved like a little B! So I am working from home, DH is getting the kids and his IPAD keeps going off. His IPAD is right by me and my laptop. I see SD name come across and it's text after text! I'm like wtf and I see a text come across saying " I will not forgive and forget" I'm like wtf is going on ! So I guess after DH let SD have it, as he should which was Monday I think or Tuesday it was silence from SD! But I guess she went running to BM and told her what happened and BM must have told her that I was talking crap to BM about SD!!!!!!! Because today SD started to randomly text DH about the argument I got into BM with which was maybe almost a year ago ! I wish I could share the text here because I had to read them to find out wtf she was even talking about . She starts texting him this , completely out of left field "did you even apologize to me when SM said mean things about me? Because I don't think you ever did and yet you still stayed married to her knowing she said mean things about your daughter " DH replied which he should not have even entertained that BS! "SD I do not ever recall hearing SM say anything mean about you , regardless you are here to see me and not her, everyone says things when they are upset. The point is you have to forgive and move on . " SD says " did you ever talk to SM and ask her if she ever said anything mean about me to my mom?" DH says " that was months ago when you mom and SM got into a argument and I don't even know what was said but I do know that it was your own mom that was saying horrible things about your own brother and sisters and they are just little kids . This is why I will not be communicating with your mom that much and I will communicating with you directly " SD " Maybe y'all need to apologize to each other then because this is not okay, in not going to forgive and forget, there's still time to apologize . You keep telling me the same thing over and over but I didn't hear you say you were sorry , that's all that I am asking for " DH says " I'm sorry if anyone said anything bad about you, I'm sure it was in the heat of the moment" SD. " thank you for saying that I love you" Can you believe that shit! This was not even about that at all ! This was about her messed up attitude and disregard and disrespect for our house and someone she thinks she is entitled to a apology??????? And how the how this Bs about what BM and I spoke about get brought up ? I never ever once said a mean thing about SD to BM , I am not stupid! And also did my BS12 ever get a apology when SD called him a effing loser via text ? Do we ever and have we ever received a apology from BM or SD for their shadiness towards us? Um no ! Here it goes again with SD entitlement and I am pissed that DH even said anything to her !!!! What is between grown adults is between grown adults , also why is BM lying to SD about me! This is why I will never ever have a relationship with her! I am so pissed I wanna go off on all of them . Also BM needs to STOP bring me up and brining me anytime there is a issue DH is trying to parent SD about ! The text read like that are from BM but either way I am tired of being put in their drama all because DH finally got on SD
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Oh my goodness. What a mess
Oh my goodness. What a mess. I would ignore SD and BM completely. Don't speak to them, that way you can't be falsely accused of saying something.
These men cave easily because that's what's easiest. They just want to appease everyone but by doing that, they appease no one. My SO was a professional at sitting on the fence and "just trying to make everyone happy." It doesn't work.
It's usually very one way with the SD's. They're never held to the same standards as everyone else and rarely, if ever, held accountable (regarding the apology...she'll never have to apologize).
And she has never ever
And she has never ever apologized! Not to me, not to BS and not to DH! It's just not right and it's this sort of treatment which is why this will never ever end! I am just SICK of being dragged into it when I have not done anything wrong at all and BM is flat out lying about me . I am tired of being thrown under the bus when i disengage from SD and then I am tired of being thrown under the bus when DH tries to parent SD and I'm told by BM to step up! I wanna tell them all to leave me the F out ! Seriously I have reached my limit with them all
This girl is catered to and
This girl is catered to and chased but her behavior keeps getting worse. She should be coming when the CO says she comes. Any bad behavior should be addressed and that is that. When you start letting a teenage girl dictate visitation based on her emotions, you are living by the emotions of a teenage girl. You may as well live your life based on the decisions of a squirrel with ADHD. DH needs to stop catering. A 14-year-old girl needs to be told, not asked or begged or bribed with gifts. When she comes, she is treated like a member of the family which includes fun things but also behavior standards. All this drama is completely unnecessary.
Is it and I have had enough
Is it and I have had enough of it especially beicasue I keep getting dragged in
Good luck
With that. These men are scared shiteless by the BM and skids. The mini spousehood continues. You will need to completely disengage and not get involved whatsoever.
H: "SD said you beat her with a broken broom handle"
Or
H: "BM said you beat SD with a broken broom handle"
You: "what an odd thing to say. " (shrug--change subject)
H: (to SD) "I'm so soooorrrry that your feeeewings were hurt my little snoogie woogie."
You: (trying not to order air sickness bags by the gross) "I think I'll go [insert activity]."
Sounds like SD is on the verge of PASing out and H is too stupid to drop the rope. Thinks chasing her will work. LOL
Bright side: at least he's not spending six figures on attorney fees in a futile attempt to enforce the CO.
INSIST that miniwife and DH spend LOTS of one on one "quality" time together so that he will soon become exasperated with her BS. Let them go off bowling, to the movies, etc. and have a nice minispouse date night.
90% of the time, they'll soon tire of it. "Well let's not stay home and fool around....instead you go out with SD and enjoy some quality time together."
Basically reverse psychology. Exactly the OPPOSITE of what they'd expect eeeeeevvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiiillll SM to say.
And if they are out together, that means out of your hair, off your son's ass and you have less time looking at the infuriating child chasing.
You're probably right. Let
You're probably right. Let him wear himself out trying to please her, and maybe, just maybe he will realize it can't be done. The pathetic simping will lead to increased lack of respect and worse behavior, and the problem will sort itself out. Lol at me for thinking maturity and honesty win a stepmom (or step gf in my case) anything but contempt. It's been a bad night...
BINGO!
That is what I did with Chef
You, are playing games by
You, are playing games by their rules. Stop that. Get DH to drag SD to a visitaiton and you sit down and bare her ass, bare BM's lies directly to the toxic Skid and giv.e the kid the bare full facts of what was said in your direct discussion with BM, tell SD that BM is lying to her and manipulating her and that you will not longer tolerate either BM's lies or tolerate SD being BM's little bitch of a mouthpiece.
Go for their throats and let daddy know that you are done accomodating his failed family baggage including either BM or their toxic failed family progeny. Anytime either BM or SD pull their crap make sure daddy knows that you will rip their throats out and bare their asses for their crap anytime they ply their harpy flock crap if he does not deal with it before you have to.
So many Sparents tolerate their mate to not deal with this kind of crap effectively.
This kid needs the message that her mother is a lying POS and both you and daddy need to continuously deliver that message anytime either BM or SD spout the BM bullshit.
IMHO of course.
After I had my "little talk "
After I had my "little talk " with BM and when SD came to visit I sat her down just her and I . I told her to her face that what ever was said between BM and myself is only between BM and myself and it has nothing to do with SD. I told SD if she ever wanted to ask me or talk to me about anything that I am here. But yes I will be having a talk with her if she ever shows her face around the house
I sometimes wish that I could
I sometimes wish that I could really say what I'm thinking to these idiots and not always have to keep my mouth shut for the sake of not poking the bear and be the reasonable one amoungst these lying sh*t talking idiots.
I'm sorry you have to put up with this. At least we can vent here.
Yea it's super super
Yea it's super super frustrating but I have been on DH ass so much lately he is starting to get tired of BM and SD drama . We had a nice chat this evening over pizza and wine. He told me that he had a series of 3 conversations with SD . He said he told her that I do a lot for her and I'm always doing thoughtful things for her that even he doesn't think of , he was telling her this will be was talking about being grateful for the things others do for her and keep that in mind when she decides to not come . I asked him where the heck that text came from and he was shocked at it too. He said he was not where it came from because they had the talk and everything was ok then she had to go eat and like 30 mins later that text came and he was thinking to him self where is this coming from because he said they weren't even talking about that at all. We both agree that the first text did not sound like it came from SD and that it came from BM because of the speaking in 3rd person sort of thing . He said that maybe for some reason BM probably brought up the talk her and I had from like almost a year ago ... who knows . It was very weird . I guess this was a plan to divert shit of BM and back on me ?
She has nothing to do
So she is making up stuff to be upset about. She knows she lost her control of her DF. Time to disengage from all of this. Try not to get into fights with BM. You must let DH handle it. Stop doing anything for SD. and quest what SD is correct, You are the Queen of your home
I think maybe SD told BM and
I think maybe SD told BM at the dinner table what DH was telling SD ( about me and MIL doing a lot for SD ) and im sure BM just had to made me look like the bad guy to SD "well did you know that SM said means things about you when we talked!!" It's really psychotic of BM . But yea I am done doing for SD
Yeah...I had this happen to
Yeah...I had this happen to with the lying from dysfunctional group - stirring up and trying to bring me back into the villian role and bond over stepmom who did absoutely nothing and caused no trouble. They are losing their grip and started going over petty things - it pissed me off but I think the anger is the last I have left for this particular pair of adult SKIDs...they will continue past teenage if this stuff doesn't get stopped. Disengage my friend and watch the sh** show from the sidrelines. Nothing that comes out of their mouth is worth holding any weight- they will attack and then act like victims after they do bad things, this cycle is endless.
I'd make it clear to your DH
I'd make it clear to your DH that she is no longer allowed in your house. I would not feel safe with her around your kids. He doesn't like it? Divorce. That would be enough for me to file.