that is wonderful! I enjoy my boyfriend's children as well. Fortunately, he's blessed with a good set!

Thanks for your post. I feel the same way, but don't post because a lot of other people here don't have the same mind set...

I have to admit, there are times that I love my SS like he's my own, but there are also times when I swear he's the Spawn of Satan.

And don't even get me started on the BM. That woman has pure arsenic running through her veins...

I adore my sd who is 8years old she is a small angel. I love my other step children too, but she is my favourite. I`m doing fine with BMnr1 and nr2, they are nice ladies and trying to help me on every step but BMnr3 is a huge bit*h-funny she is the one who never had anything to do with FH, she was a one night stand. Lot of people are having difficulties as stepparents cos most the time the kids are brainwashed or the BMs are huge manipulative, pathetic bitc*hes so I will never judge those who are writing they have it difficult to like their stepkids or going crazy in their current situation

No one will mock, judge or make fun of you for loving and liking your skids! We should all be so lucky. I would have loved to have everything be peaches and creams with my skids from the beginning, but like the majority, it has been a wild, rocky ride. Basically, I think the issue here is that while no one will be mean to someone because they love their skids, they might get offended if it is implied that loving and liking your skids is all about attitude, because it's not. There are endless varieties of families and situations and every single kid in the world is unique and different. I wanted to grow up, get married and have two, sensitive, bookworms with perfect english manners. Instead I wound up not being able to have bio-kids, but meeting, falling madly in love with and marrying the guy of my dreams and consequently saddling myself to a crazy ass BM that wishes death on me, a goofy, loud, autistic 12 yr old with no social skills but a good heart and a sulky, manipulative, but funny and loving 5 yr old with OCD. I love my skids too, but in a very different way than the way H loves them. I will always put their interests first and do everything I can to help them grow up to be happy, good people, but it didn't happen instantly and had nothing whatsoever to do with my "mindset." I adore kids in general, worship babies, and would throw myself under a bus in an instant to save my darling, beloved nephew, but I am definitely one of those evil SMs that bitched about my skids to my tolerant and patient sisters and cried to my mom about how overwhelmed and scared I was and moped around feeling sorry for myself for getting stuck with the exact opposite of the kind of kids I enjoy spending time with.

Like most SMs who don't have that bio-bond, and who have major BM issues, I spent my first year of marriage going between intense highs of euphoria and contentment with my little ready made family and and extreme lows of feeling resentful, angry and hateful and seriously considering running away screaming every time I heard the skids coming home from school. I flip flopped all the time and had a very hard time adjusting to a first time marriage and sudden motherhood.

With my boyfriend before H, I waited six months before I would let him kiss me and made him endure a "commitment" conversation before agreeing to hold hands with him in public!!!! So, yes, I am on the massively, overly cautious side and so following my heart, giving up my job, breaking up with a boyfriend, moving out of my cosy apartment (and then moving twice in two months), setting up house with a brand new husband and two little boys and graduating with a double major in the space of a few months was indescribably overwhelming and emotional for someone like me. All that time, BM was off her rocker and causing as much mayhem and drama as she could manage and trying to drag in as many people as she could and making our personal situation as public as she could. H and I are both extremely cautious and don't like change or taking risks. We are also both very private when it comes to our personal lives as far as work goes. Because we worked together, our personal drama became the hot gossip item for months. It was totally ridiculous and my ex-boyfriend (that I broke up with to get together with H and who is still a very good friend) used to joke that they should do little news announcements about us over the intercom to the whole store because everyone was gossiping, taking sides and coming up to us to give their opinion and a personal matter became extremely public. BM was losing it and basically had a hysterical emotional breakdown in front of all our co-workers, managers and customers and never seemed to realize that she was invoking pity, embarrassment and contempt rather than rallying supportive people around her. At first, when H dumped her, people were nice and sympathetic and were pleasant and supportive to all of us, but when BM never got her shit together and never moved on or got past anything, everybody lost patience with her and she alienated her few initial supporters and irritated and pissed off a lot of people. It was a circus with one tragic clown (BM) and two shy, behind the scenes people being dragged onto center stage.

That's just a little of my experience and it's pretty obvious to see that my attitude didn't have a whole lot to do with my situation and relationship with my skids. I went overboard trying to be the best SM ever and I know a lot of SMs do that at first and burn out like I did. I've never been married before H, I didn't have my own kids and wasn't prepared or used to sharing my space with people that have trouble not peeing on the bathroom floor. It's a long, hard process and I love and care for my skids in my own way, but it didn't come naturally and there were a lot of factors that played into and controlled my life and created chaos and drama where before there had been peace, comfort and good times with my friends.

Basically, I think and agree with the view that it's wonderful to be so lucky and have a wonderful, loving relationship with your skids, but that people who aren't shiny, happy step-parents right off the bat, probably have a lot going on and all kinds of craziness to deal with. Kids of divorce and break ups have more emotional problems and most skids have behavioral and psychological issues as it is. Everything may be hunky dory for one person, while another person, while being positive, loving and kind, will still struggle or fail when it comes to SM-skid relationships.

Welcome! I too Love my SD6, and she is a wonderful little girl.