Bad visit with the stepmonster
Well hubby and I went to go visit the stepdaughter at her house to try to resolve the issues she has with me face to face because hubby has said for a long time that if we go to her place where we are face to face then it is less likely she will be as hateful as people can be when they are texting or calling. We show up and pull up right behind her and her hubby and mine gets out of the car and tells her we need to resolve all this and she says no I don't and I am not going to and that she has nothing to say to me and that she doesn't want to hear anything I have to say. He told her to show him some damn respect and get along cause that at least she owes him that after all the boyfriends she has brought around him to like over the years and some of them even lived with them! She said that you dad thats not me. He said just give us five minutes and she said you have had your five minutes and he said it was hurting all of us not to see her and her baby girl and she said there is no us but you are welcome to see us or come around anytime and hubby said well if we all can't be around cause they are my family too then none of us will come and the next move is yours, you will regret this one day. And then we left. The whole time her husband was being all cocky and arrogant acting. He didn't say anything it was just his body language. Anyhow after all this I got upset cause things did not go as I thought they might and I got overloaded with all the drama with her and I and was depressed and sad. I stayed home from work one day after that and hubby called her and told her please go see Julie she is awfully upset and she is there alone at the house, she just wants to talk to you. She said she didn't have anything to say but she would think about it. She neevr showed and her called and wanted to ask about it and he told her I love her and she said she don't love me she don't even love her own kids. That hurt me so bad. Hubby says she knows me well enough to know my insecurities and that I always worry if I am doing enough for my kids or I am doing a good job and he said she knew that would hurt me is why she said it. Well it sure did! I cried and cried. I just don't freakin understand how after all the time of us getting along that she could be so cruel to me and crucify me too death. That is what keeps me in turmoil all the time. I try to put it on the back burner and let it not bother me or try and forget things til she decides to get her head out of her ass but its so hard for me. I honestly do love this damn stepdaughter and I am tore up about her treating me this way. I just don't know what to do anymore. Hubby has been so supportive to me in all this and he agrees with me that she is being an ass but I know it hurts him so bad to be in this situation with her and he has health issues anyhow and he does not need this added stress. Please someone give me some hope and encouragement to make it through this time. Because when I let this shit get me in a funk and depressive state it sucks and it is so hard to fight these feelings.
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When you went to SD's,
did she know you were coming? I'm so sorry for all you're going through...have you ever suggested family counseling to her? Talking to a neutral party might help you all resolve your issues in a healthier way.
(((HUGS)))
No she did not know we were
No she did not know we were coming or else she would have never agreed and she won't go to counseling, she is married and 24. I have been in her life around 7 years and in her dads 4. Her and I were friends cause her babys dad and mine are brothers and thats when we made friends. Her dad and I met thru her when my kids daddy walked out on us after 13 yrs. Her dad is 8 ys older than me. My SD mom walked out when she was 2 and she was raised by her dad and he has not been married for almost 19 years til he married me. He said he never found anyone to trust until me and he just knew he could trust me. She and I have a had a few petty issues but always were much of nothing and then all the sudden she gets mad over dumb stuff and blocks all our numbers. She calls her dad though and texts him from time to time. The only way we can contact her is through her husband . He does not have us blocked. He will talk to hubby on occasion but never answers my calls. I think he is keepin it stirred. the bastard. I will never forgive him for all this emotional distress.
HUGS!!!!
I have no advice to give, but I'm sending you a whole bunch of hugs! I'm so sorry you are going through this, just remember to be good to your self regardless of how bad her actions make you feel, you are a good person!
thanks!!
thanks!!
So sorry dear
Honey I encourage you to reflect on exactly who you are asking to support and love you. I do not know this girl but it sounds to me like the more you beg her to like you, the more joy she takes in stomping on your feelings.
Why give anyone this power over you? Why do you need her so much? Is it her you want to see or her baby? I think your feelings are hurt but if you can find some perspective you may find that, she would not be a good friend to you anyway. So sorry dear, hugs to you
p.s. your DH sounds like a keeper!
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2you are right!! And thank
you are right!! And thank you so much for being such a good friend on here. And my hubby is so wonderful and has took my side and not let her get to him or let her think she has any control over us. I know it is so hard on him though. He misses seeing her and her child very much and misses talking to them. Maybe if we aren't there anymore so readily available and are not in her life as much( per her wishes ) maybe that time away will give her time to step back and look at herself and her actions as we have always played such a big role in her life.
And now all she has in her life at all is her husband because we are all blocked from her phone and the only way we have any contact with her is through him because he never blocked any of us. But when we do call he never answers whether we leave a text or voice mail so that tells me he is not really interested in helping this situation and never was. He claimed to but his actions speak louder than anything. I think he thought if he moved her out to the country away from all the outside influences and from her family and friends that he could make an honest woman out of her being as how she cheated on him only less than a week after their marriage in April! I know her and she will not be able to take too long of just havin him 24/7. I hope it all works out one day but when and if she does ever come back I will never trust her and always have my guard up.. Because she just threw me away like garbage after all I have done for her and how good I was to her. We are trying to just just put all this on the back burner and give the situation some space. And we are trying just to concentrate on here and now and this household. Thats all we can do because we have done our best to try and resolve this issue. It is in her hands. But I can't lie when she was saying bad things that got back to me I just let it eat away at me because I was so hurt and I was starting to believe maybe she was right because I thought most people have some good in them and she would not just do this to me for no reason.. It made me start over analyzing myself. I couldnt do that no more. It was just sending me deeper into a pit. But thanks for everything and I will keep u posted!!