BM has replied to my email.

I have no problem with us both being there at the same time, even considering all that you have done to SD and DH's relationship. I would not be the one to act aggressively towards you. Do you feel that you cannot handle yourself in a mature manner around me? I can handle myself peacably around you for SS13's sake. It truly is a shame that you feel you cannot control your behavior even for SS13.

I have not replied. She is obviously baiting me. I did however let the school know that I wouldn't be there as his mother is planning on being there and it was best for all if we were not together so as not to make my SS uncomfortable.

SS13 was at her house this weekend. Last night we ask if she says anything about it. We did tell him what was going on before he left so it would not be out of left field if she said something. He was mad about it when he left on Friday. Sunday night he says that she told him she would be there and if I had a problem with it that was my problem. Okay, understood. I won't be there. I told SS that and then I got emotional and stopped the conversation and he left the room. DH of course, doesn't say a word to make me or him feel better. Dense!

Anyway, I let the school know via email that I won't be there. They send an email back asking me to volunteer, since BM has sent them an email on Friday that she would not be there. Now, because I waited to talk to my SS. I look like an idiot and the school is involved in a private affair, that they really should not have to deal with.

My email to the teacher:
She told SS over the weekend that she would be there. Honestly, Teacher I am just done with the whole situation. You can let her know that I am not participating and you look forward to her helping out the class. After the hostility that she has caused, that is the least she can do for his class.

DH thinks I should do this if they get in writing from her that she will not be there. Honestly, I am done. The reason the teacher keeps coming back to me to do this, is she knows me from my son and knows how organized it would be and that the teachers would be able to do less of the event. My reputation precedes me on this stuff.

Good thing is that I am doing a large fundraiser for another organizations and my business is about to get much busier, so this does at least take that off my plate. The sad thing is that it is one more log on the fire with my SS and his BM and why he will not pursue a relationship with her after 14. It also, affects how he looks at me. DH did tell him he could take the day off that day if he wanted. He said no, it is actually a fun day.

Also, found out that DH is texting my SD. Not sure how I feel about it, but I did tell him that that was good and maybe it would show her the door was open to them having a relationship. He did say they were one sentence and brief. He initiated. She is never however coming here. He also said he would be damned if he invited her anywhere. He will however go if it is within an hours time and he had no plans. She has cancelled on him twice at the last minute. They have not seen each other in over a year and we live less than a mile away.

Now to decide whether to respond to BM. Honestly, I am tired of being a door mat in this melodrama...I never say anything.