I stepparented a teenage girl for almost 5 years. I love her father dearly, but living with this girl was the most stressful experience I have ever been through. Her mother passed away when she was young. She came to live with me when she was 12. Everyone in her life felt sorry for her because her mother was sick most of her life and eventually died. She was raised without boundaries and no one ever told her that her behavior was inappropriate when they should have. I made her live by rules in my house and she had never lived in a structured environment. She was accustomed to controlling her parents (as an only child). It was a war for the entire time she lived with me. She is a compulsive liar, very manipulative, highly vindictive, and will show people the face she knows they want to see. I personally think she is beyond narcissistic. I think she is a borderline sociopath. Not only because of things she did while in my household, but things she has done to others within her own extended family. She has no empathy and cares only about getting her way at all costs. She plays a victim convincingly. I have no like, love, or respect for this girl. She destroyed it. I don't mean to sound like a victim in the least. However, I tried harder than almost anyone in my shoes would have, given the circumstances. My issue is that she is away at college now. Her father and I still love each other. We can't even talk about this issue without an argument because he is defensive of her and I am not telling him what he wants to hear (that I have forgiven and forgotten the past and am willing to be "friends" with his daughter). I feel that I have a right to feel the way I do. We might get back together at some point, but I know that since she is close to her father, she would be back in my life. How does one deal with a stepdaughter who is destructive and whom one can't trust or wants to have a relationship with? She is the best actress I have ever seen. Only those who have "crossed" her know what she is really like. Her grandmother and some of her cousins see her for who she is, but can't talk with her father about it. Her father is in denial and I honestly don't know how to handle this situation. Any advice?