to accept somebody else's children and step up to the place another man left on the table...Ray Johnson"

One of my friends posted the above saying on her facebook wall. This will probably come back and bite me on the ass, I probably should have left it alone, but I didn't; I replied "However, when you change "man" to "woman" it's a lot more difficult"...

SD's and all DH's family are also friends with this gal, so I'm sure they'll see this sooner or later. I'm not slamming anyone in my reply, just stating my opinion, given MY experience. Although the SD's and I are getting along better now, our relationship has been extremely difficult over the years. I believe the reason for the change is I learned the hard lesson of disengaging. I've quit trying to be anything other than their dad's wife. What they do doesn't concern me anymore unless it directly affects me. I only wish I would have been able to have a better relationship with them, including being a 'mother' figure to them since their BM is such a piece of crap (their words, not mine) but sometimes it's not meant to be. In our case, we all missed out. I would have been a great SM, given the chance but all they wanted was to give me hell. The youngest SD realized this last fall when she went off to the military (she didn't make it through basic due to some medical issues). She actually wrote me a letter telling me how sorry she was for the way she treated me and she knew it was because of me she had the things she did, a roof over her head, clothes, food. She also reiterated this in person when she got home. I guess I'll never truly get over it, because I still sometimes get hurt feelings and obviously I think about the 'what ifs' of a good relationship with the SD, but I don't dwell on it as much. It even startles me when someone refers to one of the SD's or the grandchild as 'my' daugher, SD, or grandchild, because I don't think of them in that sense.

Just musing this morning and ended up writing it out.
Happy 1st day of Spring!