I have been with my current husband for about 12 years now, since my step daughter was 5. There has been nothing but drama ever since, due to his ex trying to run the show. She is a vindictive, manipulative lier, who sees her daughter as a paycheck. There have been too many occasions to count where my husband has made arrangements to pick his daughter up and they have been impossible to contact; this has happened many times around the holidays. My husband is a passive person, and tries to be nice......probably too nice. She just walks all over him....and yes, he lets her. Only once since I've known him has he stood up to her and told her how he felt, which resulted in a year and a half of him not being able to speak to or see his daughter. Now, all of the sudden his daughter wants to have a relationship with him and his ex calls and tells him she's sorry for what she's done to him, and she wants to start over.....oh yeah, and their 16 year old daughter wants to quit school, and move in with her boyfriend. At this point he proposes to me that my step daughter move in with us and he will not take the mom to court for child support. Even after telling him that we need the money to raise her, he still refuses to take her to court for child support. What gives? She has 3 other kids at her house and her husband is the laziest most useless person on Earth (besides herself); they can't spell job. I think my husband is considering her situation too much. It is not our responsibility to pay for the kids she has with her current husband, but it is her responsibility to help take care of my step daughter. He has not showed any interest in getting back with her, in fact, the complete opposite; but I don't understand how he has so much consideration for her situation after how she's treated him all these years. I mean, just because she calls and says sorry, he thinks it's genuine? Anyone can say sorry. My husband and I have very different personalities. I do not believe in people taking advantage of or using others. It makes me sick that she has consistently used my step daughter as leverage to hurt him. For all of these years, I have wondered where I fit into all of this. How do I remove myself from this situation when it directly affects my life, finances, and marriage. How can we possible ever be truly happy with her dictating how his life...thus mine is going to go. I have tried over and over again to withdraw myself from this situation, but I find my husband and I withdrawn from each other instead. I try to tell myself that this is exactly what she wants. She would love nothing more than for us to be as miserable as she is. I have been and still am mad at him for allowing her to have so much control over his life, and now I'm realizing that even though I've stood up to her, I'm doing the same thing. I have a feeling with her daughter possibly moving into our home, things are going to get worse. My husband and I have always had my step daughters best interest in mind, but her mother always has an agenda with her own best interest in mind. She has always told her daughter lies about both of us, so now her daughter will not even give me a chance as her step mother, which really hurts. I feel that I haven't even had a chance for her to get to know me. My husband and I have a very close relationship; we are best friends, and really happy until she calls with drama. Even though I can't imagine ever leaving my husband, at times like this I want to pack my things and move out. I've tried so hard to put myself in his shoes, and wonder if he's tried to put himself in mine. No matter, we still will never understand how the other feels, and in the meantime my step daughter has parents and step parents that can't seem to get along. I know this is not about me, but I feel that I'm being neglected in this entire situation, like my feelings or opinions don't much matter. How can I take control of my life and try to keep the peace?