6 year old autistic step son
So this is the first time I ever posted on here but I don't know where else to vent so here I am! So I've been a step mom for about a year and a half and I have been doing school with my step sone he's 6 and austistic. So it's not easy especially with my temper I'm not the most patient person but I try really hard especially with him because I know it's not his fault for being like that. Having to deal with the Bm kills me inside because even tho I put everything I can into this kid I know he will always chose his mom over me and that's fine but sometimes it gets to me. And sometimes he lies so people won't feel bad (me) I tell him not to lie and it's okay if you do this or that (because he loves his mom) and then he says okay and then says the truth and it hurts because I know he won't feel the same way even though I'm the one who's gives him baths at my house, I'm the one who cooks dinner before I go to work, I am the one who does school with him and have to work at night and get off at 11:30pm, get home at 12 get ready for bed make sure everything is good for his school in the morning help him with class, help him with homework, and let him play with his friends. I feel like I've helped him a lot but I feel like I'll never be enough, You know? And the Bm got a new job as an emt which is cool until she brings it up everyday and she was almost never home with him and her bf is a bad stepdad my step son says he can only go in the living room when he has a question his door is closed so I don't know and her boyfriend spanks him when he's bad which I would never do because that's not my kids and personally I think it's wrong he is very high functioning autistic like barley can tell but he should be spanked he's so kinda and sweet and will cry with a snap of your fingers. So any advise?
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Comments
Where does your spouce, the
Where does your spouce, the childs father, fit into all this? You didn't mention him, and why you're doing all the parenting it sounds like.
He works during the day but I
He works during the day but I wish he did more but he does some and I think I need to talk to him because I'm feeling over whelmed so hopefully he understand or I don't know what will come next we are trying to get a house so not going to lie he has been working more but sometimes I just need his help.
Honey, you don't "Sometimes" need help...
This child is not your responsibility, if you were not there, who would be with the SS? Your SO needs to step up as a parent and do the work, not you. You will see that a lot of us use the saying, "Not my Circus, Not my Monkey". You are SO partner, not to be used as a built-in babysitter, and mom for his kid. He's dumped the kid on you to take care and do everything for him, this is b*llsh*t. Tell your SO that he needs to find another job, with different hours, so HE can take care of his own kid.
Honestly thank you for
Honestly thank you for opening my eyes I don't know I just thought I would be helping him not doing it all and I appreciate you saying all that we are going to be talking about that soon
When was this child evaluated
When was this child evaluated for autism? I know it's not a one size fits all diagnosis but a very common theme among autistic kids is they're way behind on empathy. Complete inability to read a room. At 6 years old it sounds strange that he'd lie to make someone feel better, they're more into lobbing uncomfortable truths in the air. I agree on everything above posters said about him not being your responsibility, I'm just questioning the autism aspect. As in does he really have it or have his parents just stuck that convenient label on him to explain away any behavioural issues that have more to do with their less than hands on parenting style.
He was evaluated when he was
He was evaluated when he was 2 he has progressed a lot but he has the stuttering, the fidgeting with his hands, and he has restricted motors in his hands along with a few other things. They said he was better and he isn't anymore but his brain during school doesn't work right all the time and he can't focus with multiple noises he doesn't like a lot of loud noise all the time. I think he should personally still be in therapy because he can't say Rs or s very good but I'm getting him reevaluated again during the summer when he doesn't have school so I know what I can do to help him progress. He can't tie his shoes or put on a seat he has a problem holding stuff different ways. Just things like that my cousin also evaluates kids and she said those are all possible signs for autism.
Correction: his parents, not
Correction: his parents, not you should get him reassessed. To determine whether it is autism related or some other learning difficulty. But if you do it, sooner or later you're going to hit a snag where they're not onboard and you'll have wasted all your efforts on a child you have zero responsibilities or rights towards.
I just wish I knew how to
I just wish I knew how to help him, the BM said she was taking him to the doctor to check his brain but she never told me anything so yeah your right.