TERROR STEP CHILDREN!!!!I am 25 yrs old, i have a daughter who is 5 and two step sons who are 5 and 7. my step sons are driving me INSANE. The oldest one who is 7 is the meanest child i have eve met in my life. and he has been since his father and i started dating when he was 3. he is vicious to my daughtger, he wispers threats to her when he thinks no one is paying attention, he hits the other kids and he lies like there is no tomorrow. he will plead and cry and promise he didnt do something even if you watched him do it! his younger brother isnt any better, they both lie about everything, little stupid things all the way up to the point where both of them were going home and telling their mom i was beating them and mean to them, when i def was not. all i did was make them follow the same rules as my daughter and time out was the punishment if they didnt. they both tell my daughter they hate her and that shes not their step sister because their mom said so.they hit her and every time we r in the car if my daughter so much as breaths loud the 7 yr old will start yelling " shes bugging me" and my husband yells at her even though its his kid who needs to learn that hes more annoying than anyone and HE needs to shut up the ONLY thing my husband and i have ever fought about is them and their behavior. the difference between my daughters intelligence and his 5 yr old sons when hes 3 months older is to be honest sad. shes reading full books and hes barly recognizing his name, i know girls and boys learn at different rates but thats a little too big of a difference. both of them have absolutely no respect for their dad, all they do is wine and ask for him to do everything for them. and they will repeat the same question 100 ( even if youve answerd them)just to get an answer they want, and they go into tantrums if you dont give them what they want. i cant stand it. the older one thinks hes the boss and tells everyone what to do but hes not doing what hes told. the younger one has tantrums where hell grab at me and scratch me and run around kicking and screaming, he threw dirt in my face. i love kids and i hate feeling this way but i also hate being called mean just because i expect them to act like humans and not animals. their own mother wont take them into public because they just dont act right, but then its her fault because she doesnt do anything about it.
My husband keeps saying " they r just kids" and he wants to "make them happy" but im the one paying the bills
the 5 yr old is nothing more than a sociopath, he loves to play with fire, still wets the bed sometimes, and kills and pulls apart small animals and bugs when he gets the chance. i had to tell him hes not allowd near my cat because im afraid hell hurt her... im terrified of them both really. a year ago i was a surrogate mother for another couple, i had a misscarriage at 18 weeks and i truly beleive its because they stressed me out so much that my body couldnt handle it. i get so mad i start shaking and my heart pound, i started getting anxiety attacks and panic attacks since theyve been around.
we never go out and do anything fun unless his boys r with us which restricts us from alot because we cant afford to bring 3 kids everywhere and every time we do splurge and spend our money for them to have fun they ruin it by acting like jerks, always fighting and jumping around and making stupid grunting animal noises. its embarassing because people think im their mom when were out, but they go tons of places with their mom and then come over and rub it in my daughters face on how much fun they had.
we live in FL but im from NH and i want to move back. my husband said its out of the question because hed miss his kids too much, but my daughter never gets to see her dad because he lives up north.
i just found out im pregnant and i seriuosly concidering leaving because i dont want my child acting like his or her half brothers.
i love my husband and i keep telling myself itll only be 13 more yrs of hell and theyll be 18 and out of the house and itll be just me him and our kids together but i dont know if i can wait that long, i have a bad feeling they are both going to become criminals and we'll have to deal with it because their mothers way of dealing with things is giving them what they want so they shut up.
my husband says i need to have more compassion for them but i have gotten to the point that their voices make me cringe because they r always either wining or asking for something. i have no compassion for children who just wont learn. im sick of repeating myself and weve had the same rules since we moved in together 3 yrs ago and they still say " i didnt know" when they get in trouble

i dont know what to do