BM feels the need to advocate for the adult steps...
My husband's children are adults and their parents have been divorced for 15 years. Both in their last year of college, both seasoned solo international travelers and both perfectly capable of asking their father for whatever it is that that happen to want at the moment, so why is it that their mother feels the need to advocate for her adult children with their father and insert herself into the relationship between him and them?
The inability to keep those legs of hers closed was why the marriage imploded and she has moved on a few times since then and I just don't understand why she needs to micromanage, much less why my sackless husband allows her to...
If I wasn't at work, I would have a drink.
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Because she has control
Because she has control issues.
You said it: she keeps
You said it: she keeps inserting herself because he allows it. I would be very clear to him that he can choose to remain in contact with his whore ex or he can choose to remain married to you. I wouldn't tolerate both.
Because they are "bonded for
Because they are "bonded for life", didn't you know that?
When BM told my DH that, he laughed and told her that once SD was an adult and CS was over, he would never have to have anything to do with BM again. He meant it and hasn't talked to her since SD27 was 18. Actually, he didn't talk to BM much after SD became a teenager.
Some women will insist on being a presence in their ex's life and use the "kids" as an excuse. Some men let it happen.
Can i one up you hereiam
Can i one up you hereiam
'they have a deep connection that one one can break..and NO one has but them,,,.because of the chil-dren"
Haha! Oh, yes, the "deep
Haha! Oh, yes, the "deep connection". A sperm met up with an egg, big deal. It happens EVERYDAY.
Yep my own mom does this. She
Yep my own mom does this. She was telling me about how her longterm bf was upset about a couple things regarding my dad and shes like well we have kids together and just doesnt get that. All of us are in our mid to late twenties and we care zero if they talk to each other. Shes also used the well we have kids together so I will always love him because of that...uh no you just never got over your 18 year marriage ending.
NO they are not adults, they
NO they are not adults, they are the CHILLL-DRENNNNN dont ya know.
My husband's son recently
My husband's son recently returned from a year's internship in New Zealand. Upon his return, he took possession of the car that he was given in high school, despite looking down his nose at it as not being good enough, 6 years later...
Apparently he forced the trunk latch and broke it and it no longer closes.
His mother is remarried to a mechanic and it happened while the stepson was at her house but she called yesterday and demand that he take it to the shop to be fixed so he obediently called the mechanic and made an appointment of which he will also cover the bill for..
I'm saying nothing but am silently seething and am daydreaming about kicking her in the head if I ever get the chance...
And him, too...
And him, too...
Yes, your husband is just as
Yes, your husband is just as much to blame as BM.
More so, really. BM is only
More so, really. BM is only doing what he allows her to do, and what works. Let Sonny call Daddy himself if he needs help with his car.
BM here would totally do this if DH would let her.
They still want to be in relationship with there EX
Still something there. There should be very limited contact with the EX once kids are teenagers, the kid can text pick up times and drop off times. They text everything else!!! Mater fact today all contact with EX should be done by text or email mail. Always have something in writing to fall back on
Ding ding ding!
Ding ding ding!
Cheating and divorce are a form of punishment for these people. It's not the ending of a relationship, it's just a change to the usage terms. BM cheated because your DH did something wrong while they were married, and she continues to act like they are married because, in her mind, they are.
Stand up for your place as his wife, OP. Tell him this is BS and that you don't appreciate how she talks to you or how your kids refuse to address him with their issues. Ask him how he would feel if an ex of yours called and demanded you did something. If, counter, if you called an ex and demanded they do something for you. He wouldn't like it.
Started this early
My partner's ex had the same issue when they were together. He finally had to just keep communication to email only due to her annoying habit of trying to put him down and threatening him. She tried with on email to make it seem like it was her decision to keep communication to email only and told him "I think you could call me. I would really like to talk to you."
His face when he read that was priceless.
You need to speak up if you
You need to speak up if you want change. Not in a nagging way, but ask questions that encourage your H to THINK.
These men have been conditioned by their previous relationships. Start a new training program and encourage your H to communicate directly with his adult kids.