Here is my wish list:

1) Since SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa provide a home for the SpermIdiot rent free, give him vehicles and raise his three younger also out-of-wedlock spawn in their home with no finacial help from the SpermIdiot their income should be added to the SpermIdiots for calculation of CS.

2) Only the SpermIdiot should be able to speak with my wife for anything Skid related and only the SpermIdiot should get visitation. As soon as SpermIdiot turns over the Skid to the SpermGrandParents the Skid should immediately be taken to the airport and returned home.

3) Each additional out-of-wedlock spawn that SpermIdiot adds to his brood should double the CS he pays for his eldest, my SS. This would save more children from being born to this toothless dipshit.

4) Each time any of the SpermClan harassed my SS about how unfair it is that he receives CS because that money could go to support his younger also out-of-wedlock half sibs the CS should double. Blaming the state of eternal multigenerational toothless dipshit near poverty on the only member of the entire SpermClan who has a snowballs chance in hell of being successful in life indicates that the entire clan should be limited in their ability to procreate or ability to afford to raise any more children.

There are countless more that I would love to have included in the CS but those are even more vindictive and punitive than these four.

I'd ask for supervised visitation at a center on her dime ... that way it limits visitation & you know they are actually being supervised.

With BM1 I wouldn't change anything. She doesn't have anything.

With BM2 I'd ask for her to get her every other weekend, she should be responsible for all transportation, and absolutely no extended visits. Nothing longer than a weekend ever. And I wish they would have imputed income on her instea if imposing the state minimum. But I'm glad they are making her pay.

With BM3 I am realizing SD4 would be better off if we had insisted on having her most of the time. She can be a good mom, but has an emotionally incestuous relationship with her dad, and basically isn't able to have any functional adult relationships because of it. I've decided to distance my family from her. She basically threw away custody of her older son and I think it won't be long before she really doesn't want much time with SD4.

well since dh and bms (1st 'official' court order- as there is still a temporary one in place) court order isnt even finalized yet, but i would make it to where we would have sd monday-friday and bm would have sd EOWE and/or 3 weekends a month and bm would have to drive the 1 and 45 minutes to us; we wouldnt meet her halfway (she wont meet us halfway!) She would be paying CS. and EVERY holiday/summer would be outlined specifically. But the likelihood of that EVER happening is slim to none because bm doesnt do drugs or alcohol so there is hardly any chance she would lose physical custody of sd unless she gave her up!

well since dh and bms (1st 'official' court order- as there is still a temporary one in place) court order isnt even finalized yet, but i would make it to where we would have sd monday-friday and bm would have sd EOWE and/or 3 weekends a month and bm would have to drive the 1 and 45 minutes to us; we wouldnt meet her halfway (she wont meet us halfway!) She would be paying CS. and EVERY holiday/summer would be outlined specifically. But the likelihood of that EVER happening is slim to none because bm doesnt do drugs or alcohol so there is hardly any chance she would lose physical custody of sd unless she gave her up!

I wish The cougar. Aka BM would
1. No contact unless emergency (bodily harm )
2. She would pay some CS (we have SS 50/50)
3. Ordered to actually COOK for SS. (She goes out to eat for almost every meal).
Know u know we probably wouldn't get 3. But hey it's worth a shot. SS will b 18 in June.....not too much longer.

I would have one request. That BM wax or shave her mustache before picking up the skids so I don't have to see the hideousness.

But seriously, these are the most important things I wish could have been in the CO.

1) Non-contact drop-offs (such as dropping skids at school and having the other parent pick them up)

2) Exactly 50/50 legal custody in every way with no child support either way.

3) BM would have to provide for the skids as much as we do, for essentials, such as socks, underwear, coats, clothes, school supplies, medicine etc...

4) Absolutely no personal conversation. All conversation should be strictly limited to vital information exchange for the skids.

5) BM ordered to do her part in providing for the skids health care (at the moment, we make all doctor, dentist and vision appts. and she grudgingly pays her part (because she legally has to), but refuses to be involved more than that (with her own kids!)

6) BM should be court ordered to cease her parental alienation and her never ending efforts to turn the skids against us (hasn't worked yet!).

7) If BM is unable to provide adequate childcare during her custody schedule (on a regular basis, not every once in a while) she should lose a portion of her custody.

BM's "childcare providers" should be required to have no criminal records or be drug addicts. The only two people BM can ever get to babysit the kids are her brain damaged sister (from a Heroin and alcohol fueled car accident where she almost killed an entire family, including a pregnant woman). BM's sister is a white trash drug addict and has a life time ban on driving because of her history. She shot up heroin while watching the skids when they were toddlers and BM knew this and not only allowed it, but didn't tell H about it! If the kids had an accident requiring an ER visit, BM's sister wouldn't even be able to drive them to the hospital! In addition to this, while she's watching the kids, she is apparently either a narcoleptic or is still taking drugs while babysitting her nephews because, according to them, she sleeps the entire time she watches them and doesn't even notice when they leave the house. My SS6 left his mom's apartment, while under his aunt's "care" and walked all the way to our house alone! She didn't even notice he was gone!!! The other stellar childcare provider BM has is a loser that is possibly even more messed up and pathetic than BM. She is also a drug addict, who has been witnessed (not by me) having drug paraphernalia lying around in front of children (including needles for shooting up!!!). This woman leaves her own 7yr old alone at night so she can go to the bars and pick up barflies. She is BM's best friend. Surprise, surprise...
Over half the time, BM isn't able to procure any childcare at all and when we refuse to watch them (because she gives no notice and we are usually literally unable to do it) she throws bitchy hissy fits. Basically, I think anyone BM chooses to babysit the skids should have to have a full criminal record and a drug test. We would happily offer the same for the people we hire to watch the kids because unlike BM, I have non-drug addict friends who actually are competent to watch children. Mandatory drug tests for BM would be great too, because I know she takes drugs (not sure if she does around the skids or not, but I wouldn't be surprised!

9) If BM is going to be more than 20 mins late, she should have to forfeit her custody for that day.

10) BM should be court ordered to get into counseling and get medical treatment for her Borderline Personality Disorder. She should also be required to take a series of childcare and parenting classes.

I'm sure there's more, but that's the first few things that come to mind!

This is a good one that has me thinking! Ok, here's what I'd put in for our BM:

1) Visitation will be supervised by her parents
2) The kids will sleep over with their grandparents when it's her weekend (these two things already happen but I'd put it in a court order to make it official)

Here's what I'd put in a CO for crazy CP BMs:

1) Don't alienate the kids from their dad. They deserve to know that their Dad will always love them more deeply than they'll ever know, even if you and their dad hate each other. Any alienation should result in a CP BM losing custody.

2) Don't bash SM and the other kids living at Dad's house. You and SM can hate each other's guts, but still act like adults around the kids. Your kids may already have jealousy of SM and the other kids because they get Dad full-time. Your bashing SM and her kids will make it much worse than it needs to be. Encourage the kids to talk about their feelings with their Dad and SM instead. (I don't know if this one would succeed in court, but it felt great to write).

3) Keep the kids' dad in the loop. You do a lot with your computer. Surely it would not kill you to sit down for a little while once a week to shoot him an email letting him know what is going on with the kids.

4) (and this ties into #1 and #2) let your kids have reasonable phone contact with their Dad and family at Dad's house. Encourage them to remain in frequent contact with them via Skype, email, facebook, and phone calls. Doing that helps the kids know that they're very much loved and missed by everyone in their other home, that they're important members of that family too, and that Dad didn't toss them to the curb when things ended with you.

I agree with whoever said supervised visitation at a center, at her expense of course. These places also do no contact exchange. CS of course. My cousin had her ex ordered to pass a drug and alcohol test before he could exercise visitation (each and every time). I would go for no others at visitation unless related by blood or marriage. BF does not need to be there period, especially if they have drug issues. We have that clause for overnights worded "no overnight guests of the opposite gender unless related by blood or marriage". That way it doesn't matter If they live there or not, they just can't be there.

For every negative word against dh, cs would be reduced by ten percent
For every gift skid receives and doesn't send a thank you, another ten percent reduction in cs pd to bm
Spup stays w bm and never enters my home.
Every swear word in every text to dh equals ten percent reduction in cs
No alimony. Ever
Cs covers everything. No paying outrageous cs and then paying for all clothes and shoes and coats and activities