I am never going to fawn over your kid with you get it through your thick skull

When is DH going to give up on trying to get me to think his kid is adorable? He knows exactly how I feel about her and why and he says he understands. Shes bullied my other kids, physically hurt them, slammed doors on us, etc for years.

He comes upstairs just now and tells me she put deodorant in her hair because she wanted to smell good and then sits and stares at me clearly waiting for me to join in on his thoughts of how precious that is. And then when I just say okay is clearly butthurt by my response. Well you KNOW how i feel about her and her treatment of all of us so why even put me in that position? It's perfectly fine that she hates all of us including her biological siblings but he wont let it go that I dont like her, even though i treat her just fine despite not liking her? Shouldnt that be enough?

ETA: as much as I sound angry and am I also feel really bad for DH. Theres clearly something mentally off too that appears to run in BMs family (she wont tell us what it is, just that theres mental illness). But seriously if I'd known how much I was going to hate this and how much it would go downhill I wouldn't have even gotten into this situation.

Jcksjj's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

What?

That's not cute. That's actually kinda dumb. Not super stupid, but it deserves an eyeroll.

Even more of an eyeroll when

Even more of an eyeroll when I know it's because she obsessed with how beautiful her hair is and walked around the house all day last time she was here brushing it and tossing it over her shoulder

Is she mentally delayed or

Is she mentally delayed or something? I mean you told us she just learned how to tie her shoes and now she’s putting deodorant in her hair. Next he’ll be coming gloating with pride she’s out in the yard eating grass.

Lmao...honestly I'm not sure

Lmao...honestly I'm not sure what's wrong with her. She doesn't appear to have anything actually wrong with her. Both her and BM at times appear to be fairly intelligent but then at other times appear to be complete idiots. My ODS has a high functioning autism diagnosis and has delays in some areas but is way advanced in others, but that doesnt seem to be the case for her either. With him the areas always stay the same that hes ahead or behind in. With her she will be good in one area then all of a sudden behind in that same area back and forth. Like she will be in the math group for kids needing to catch up and then next year be way ahead and next year behind again. Shell be manipulating on a near adult level one min like I've never seen a kid that age do but then doesnt have the common sense to look for cars before crossing the street and cant remember anything she did the day before. Its just weird and I have no clue what it is. BM is exactly the same - DH said he literally thought she had a brain tumor or something because everything just made no sense and that's how I feel about SD. Nothing is consistent and nothing makes any sense at all.

I think this is a wider

I think this is a wider problem with problematic step kids. Leaving aside the example you gave with the deodorant, which is clearly not something to crow about, I personally never feel like celebrating my step kids with my DH, no matter what they do, and feel a bit sorry for him over that, because he doesn't really have anyone to do this with.

Plus he has a really irritating habit of wanting to celebrate stuff that they've done that all kids do, and is really not noteworthy at all. He was praising SD22 for eating her dinner until she was about 14! I think if he confined himself to things that genuinely warrant some praise I would feel better about it.

That's kind of my thing is

That's kind of my thing is that he is praising things that I dont find at all praise worthy and he puts way too much stock into these things also and legitimately thinks she is better than any other kids. He asked my son once to shovel the steps off and he didnt really cooperate and was being whiny. Then SD ran over to prove she could do it better and did it all herself over the top perfectionist style. DH bragged about how SHE shoveled the sidewalk and he didnt and basically told me right in front of little brat how much better she was because of it. Well the next day my son woke up with a high fever and ended up being sick for three days, so obviously the whining and just standing there was because he was getting sick and DH said something about oh that must be why he'd been in a bad mood. But then the next time that story got told he had magically forgotten and it was just how much better SD was for shoveling an inch of snow off of about 9 square feet

She sounds so much like my SD

She sounds so much like my SD. Always competing with my son. Always trying to look like the better child. Ugh! I feel your pain!

My fav was a couple yrs ago a

My fav was a couple yrs ago a teacher told DH that SS11 was really funny but he shouts out inappropriate things at inappropriate times while he is trying to teach and gets the class started and basically ruins his lessons DAILY. All DH heard the teacher saggy is SS11 is funny. We left conferences with him beaming..."Did you hear Mr D talk about how funny SS11 is?"....NO!! I jeard Mr D talk about what an asshole he is to have in class.

That was the only time I ever went to conferences with him because he picks out what he wants to hear. DH picks out what he wants to see on report cards or assessments to. Im not sure if he lies to me or literally doesnt know his kids are dum asses

I guess the sandwiching the

I guess the sandwiching the criticism with compliments doesnt work on deluded parents. Dh actually takes her teachers more seriously then me but he still thinks the compliments mean more than they actually do. And BM - well she posted online that the teacher said she had "the perfect child" after conferences - I highly doubt that.

They hear what they want ro

They hear what they want ro hear

They hear what they want to

They hear what they want to hear

I would recommend shampoo

I would recommend shampoo/conditioner or an actual hair mist.

Deoderant sprayed in your hair to make it smell good?
Hmm, that's kind of a retarded move, so why was your DH proud of it?

I am so glad you can see the delusional fantasy for what it is.

And I don't even know anyone

And I don't even know anyone who uses spray deodorant, most of it is the stick type, so she just put gook in her hair? All over her head, or in one spot? I guess now I'm hoping it was at least the spray type.

Lol, nope stick type. I

Lol, nope stick type. I actually gave her stuff she could spray in her hair that smells like bubblegum for Christmas, but I'm sure since it's from me she wont use it. I have no idea if it was all over, DH came upstairs after tucking her in for bed chuckling about it so I didnt actually see it.