The final decision
Well, DH has decided to hand everything over to BM completely. I'm waiting for medical assistance to call me back about taking her off insurance. Also waiting for BM to respond about if she will be going to school in her city next year since it appears she doesn't want to.
If she tries to worm out of making it permanent now I'm going to flip out.
ETA:
So her mom is not happy at all that she's going to be with her fulltime and is throwing a fit about her going to school in her city. She clearly didn't think it was going to be permanent.
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If she does, then she needs
If she does, then she needs to agree to a formal, legal custody agreement.
Oh she just responded and is
Oh she just responded and is already trying to worm her way out of it
Okay, then he has a formal 50
Okay, then he has a formal 50/50 agreement drawn up and she signs.
She hasn't actually said she
She hasn't actually said she wants to go back to 50/50, but she's throwing a fit about her not going to school in our city and wants us to help bring her to school. I'm reading between the lines, but she clearly did not want this to be permanent. I know SD does though. And her mom has her convinced now that we're evil awful people.
I'm glad your DH did that.
I'm glad your DH did that. She can't have her cake and eat it too.
She can get a bus in her district.
Not gonna lie, I'm also
Yep. She wants the perks of single parenting, she's gonna have to deal with the tough parts too. She's seriously one of the laziest people I've ever met.
Not gonna lie, I'm also breathing a sigh of relief about ODS not getting bullied by her at middle school. It's already gonna be tough for him as is.
My guess is that BM's next
My guess is that BM's next move will be to file for CS. If she's going to be stuck with SD plus lose control over DH since she can't use SD to jerk him around, she'll definitely want to get paid.
I'm assuming. She's the one
I'm assuming. She's the one who always wanted to stay out of court for some reason. But if she does, she does.
Maybe she's afraid she'd lose
Maybe she's afraid she'd lose some of her benefits if she got "official" CS...?
I think she's either afraid
I think she's either afraid that she will lose if they end up going to court for custody and also she doesn't want to be locked in to having her fulltime because if she starts dating another guy who's childless she wants to be able to send her back again. That's what's happens historically is that the amount of of time she wants with SD is based on her dating status and how SD will affect that either positively or negatively.
Honestly, he should start
Honestly, he should start paying her now. If he won't go to court to get an order then he's basically agreeing with the plan, and should plan to help support SD.
If its going to be outside of
If its going to be outside of court we'd rather buy directly for SD when possible instead of just giving BM money. She's getting rent paid for with pandemic assistance and the food stamps now, so that part is already taken care of at least for the time being. And if she wants actual cash she can decide to file. We can buy her clothes, school supplies, etc. The stimulus checks for SD went to buy BM some eyebrows and tattoos so...
Be wary. He can do all that
Be wary. He can do all that and then be ordered to pay back support as well, since they don't view that as being the same as child support.
They do the same with cash
They do the same with cash though. I think he's screwed if they did decide to go back further, but I think its just from the date she files for it. That's what mine was anyway for ODS, and then his dad had to pay 50% of what was ordered for the time between filing and when it got to court.
They did also have a support order opening briefly when SD was born because BM was getting assistance and she had it closed because DH moved in with her when the paternity test came back. So there's some record of him living with her at least. If she seriously wants to keep her she needs to just file for it and make it all official.