BM Demands Proof
This was DH weekend to have SS8 - BS4 woke up at midnight on Thursday night throwing up - high fever etc. I told DH to text BM and let her know that he is sick. We always give her a heads up - she still sends SS8, and I'm not saying she shouldn't send him. But I like her to know so she can't say we didn't tell her before hand if SS8 gets sick from him.
Friday DH took off work to stay home with BS, by the time I got home from work at 430pm he was still not drinking, or eating, and fever of 104.3 - I called the doc and they said to take him to Urgent Care.
We have one car between the two of us. 5pm is when DH is supposed to be on his way to get SS8 - an hours drive away. I make sure that he has texted BM to say he is held up ATM and we have no idea how things will go because Urgent care is on a first come first serve basis.
She didn't believe him - she said she will bring SS up - DH says 'ok but don't leave until we let you know when we will be home' she says 'i'm leaving now and SS will be there in an hour'.
I told DH at that point to just let it go - if she wants to sit there and wait til we get home - oh well - that's with her. We told her what's going on.
A while later DH gets a text from her saying she wants proof that we are at Urgent Care - He says 'what?' She wants a photo with BS name and hospital logo and docs name etc on it. By this time he was diagnosed with Strep Throat. DH tells BM this - she again doesnt' believe him. She demands proof. So we ask the doc to print out something with BS name - hospital logo etc on it. Everything is digital so they can't figure it ou t- LoL - finally they get someone that knows how to print something out - we send her a photo of his strep throat text showing positive with docs name etc on it. The doc couldn't believe that she was demanding proof of everything ha.
She then decides SS is not coming ---
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Comments
Why would you enable her
Why would you enable her behaviour by providing proof? Who is she - Deputy Dawg?
She isn't the sick police.
She isn't the sick police. Why on EARTH would you guys indulge this ridiculous behavior???
LOL What a self-righteous b**
LOL What a self-righteous b****!!
DH caters to her sometimes
DH caters to her sometimes way more than I would - when he said she was demanding proof I though he was kidding. LoL
Your DH should ask her why
Your DH should ask her why she thinks she has the right to demand proof that he took his own son an urgent care clinic! This just boggles my mind. If my DH even adhered to BM about this I think I would've packed a bag.
I would have told her.. we
I would have told her.. we are at the Urgent Care at X street... come on over here and wait with us..lol
LOL...I didn't think about
LOL...I didn't think about that.
Ugh giving in to her crazy
Ugh giving in to her crazy will stir more crazy! Sorry your DH felt the need to feed the bear.
Lucky for you no SS :)
I would not have given her the power
by providing her any kind of proof... but if I wanted to be snarky I would have provided her a selfie of me giving her the middle finger while I was sitting in urgent care.
she says 'i'm leaving now and
BM pulled this crap in the beginning, when she didn’t like what she was hearing. She was used to lighting a fire under DH’s arse, to get him to jump at her whim, their entire short-lived marriage, that it went on into a good year or two post divorce.
I demanded that he knock it off. He did, and boy did BM hate it.
And OMG! Whyyyyyyy did he humor her with giving her proof? Just no. He doesn’t need to provide any proof to her - ever.
Next time, via text:
Next time, via text:
BM: I demand PROOF that you are where you say you are!
DH: I told you what the situation is. I believe it is best that SS not come over this weekend as BS is very contagious. -OR- I do not want to forego visitation, but this emergency situation will make me late for pick up. I will text you as soon as I am available.
Then IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE!
I am not a fan of a kid missing visitation because they have a cold or allergies, but when a kid is running a fever/vomiting/contagious, it is best to prevent others from getting sick. BM doesn't need proof, she just needs to know your DH's decision regarding whether he will be taking his visitation time or not.
ETA: You guys only having one car is not an excuse for your DH to not be on time for visitation. He could have stayed home and waited for BM to drop off SS, or he could have dropped you off at urget care then gone to get SS if he planned on having him for visitation. BM may have had other plans, and emergencies on your part don't constitute emergencies on her part. Yes, it would have been nice for DH to be at urgent care with you, but he has two kids to wrangle. He needed to make a choice, and his waffling on what he was going to do led to this encounter with BM.
Omg someone slap that woman!
Omg someone slap that woman! She has no right.
I would have had him say no, we dont have to prove anything and if you want to drive over there to find that we are out feel free.
She cannot force him to have visitation. Sounds like she didnt want your child's health and welfare to come first for a change. Boo hoo.
The sd not coming over in the end : punishment much?
So schedule is EOWE for Dad
So schedule is EOWE for Dad's 'visitation' (which is typically now called parenting time and no longer visitation)?
Dad isn't 100% obligated to take his time. BM must have the kid available, but Dad can call and cancel out. Unexpected and/or emergency things happen.
No proof of a sick kid required. No proof of an urgent care center required. No continued texting and/or additional phone calls required.
All that was needed was a very simple 'hey, BM, my other son is sick with high fever and throwing up. I'm going to have to cancel out having oldest kid over. Right now I don't even know what is going on with youngest and I'm on my way out the door to urgent care. I'll call and talk with oldest son, if not later tonight, sometime tomorrow. Sorry for such short notice'.
Polite, simple, direct to the point. If BM keeps texting/calling turn the phone off.
I hope your little one is feeling better today. It's scary when they are so little and so sick, the last thing you need to be doing is humoring BM.
And to repeat the above
And to repeat the above sentiments- you’re providing it to her why?
Tell her her to go pound salt. It’s none of her business.