Seeking advice on handle this situation. I am disengaged from my 3 skids for the most part, but totally with sd17. Used to be we had her 4 days a week and she was with her other parent the other three. She has a problem with lying...mostly to shock people or get attention, and told a lie to a teacher about other parent. Other parent said enough is enough (it was a claim of physical abuse to her sibling), and told her she isn't welcome in the other home, so now full time with us.

Nothing but trouble ever since.

She isn't doing anything too out of the ordinary, but she certainly isn't trustworthy as she's stolen from us, lies about everything including what she's eaten, and even broke into our bedroom to retrieve her cell phone that she was grounded from. Some of what she did just drove me nuts but her parent can handle it, I don't want nor need to.

She talks crap about me to my dd15 and her parent. I pretty much ignore the kid because she does and says things for attention. So I know I'm not the problem. But she walks around telling people that I hate her, that i am fake, "you know how she feels about me", and once told my spouse that I was being verbally abusive to her (because I said to her that I didn't believe what she was saying), giving an evil smile to me after knowing my spouse and I had an argument and whatever else she says that is negative. Thing is, we don't even interact much. I honestly don't think about her as much as she thinks I do. She did not like the parent that had her for 3 days so for her to tell that previous lie got her what she wanted: out of that house and no relationship with that parent.

I will continue to ignore her behavior, but she manipulates my spouse into believing that I hate the kid. I don't hate her. I dislike her lying and attention seeking. I know that soon she'll be off to college and really, her drama is not worth my time. But it does cause issue with my spouse, which is what sd17 wants. I try to bring this up with spouse but like most parents, spouse feels sorry for the kid and yeap, the kid wins.

Btw, I make sure I am never alone with sd17. She's already said I was verbally abusive. She's already learned if she screams that enough to the right people she gets what she wants.

Any ideas?