Since the beginning of last summer OSS has lackadaisical about his one extracurricular, has used multiple excuses to get out of it, and has been a typical teen when it comes to coordinating and notifying parents of places he wants to go and where he is. The last two cop-outs have been a wonderful study in the acceptance by parents of the lamest of excuses.

My issue is two-fold: 1. I have been the recipient of some of his lack of responsibility since I have occasionally been the adult-in-charge, and 2. BM and DH accepting anything he tells them, mildly asking him to please remember to let them know what he's doing, defending this irresponsible behavior by noting some other un-related decent behavior, and not implementing any consequences.

The kid is not a bad kid but he has learned over the years that mom and dad are gullible and don't want him to feel bad/be mad at them. He is now dictating where he will be, when he will be there, then just not even doing that, or texting way after some agreed time/activity that he's not going to make it (no kidding).

He's not my monkey but sometimes I'm at the circus. If the monkey throws shit at me and his keeper does nothing to correct it, you bet I'm gonna have a problem with that and say something.

After some pointed discussions with DH, DH now understands that if I have had to interact with the monkey and he has flung poo at me, it is my decision (not DHs) whether I say something to the monkey, what I say, and how I say it. Next we will be learning that the person at whom the poo was flung also can make sure there is a consequence for the flinging.

Since the keeper believes that training monkeys is "mean", I don't hold out a lot of hope that the keeper will realize that the monkey is running the circus.