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The Revisionist Excuses/Reasons

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 11:09am

So The Revisionist (my DH) seems to have a set of sentences to use to avoid conflict, discussing uncomfortable things, or parenting (which falls into the previous two categories). Here are his.

I didn't see it.

I didn't hear it.

But I'm busy.

But it's [holiday].

It hasn't been that often. (so the rule is not a rule because the thing can be done without repercussion)

But [name of my child] did Y. 

But [name of skid] isn't here much/got here late/has homework/did [unrelated thing that somehow negates this thing].

I don't want to talk about this [before/after] [meal]/work/exercise/weekend/holiday/[random thing].

I don't want to bother [name of skid].

And my favorite: I don't remember it that way [because in that reality I feel guilt/shame/discomfort].

 

Does your SO have any common ones?

Comments

Simpleton21's picture

Submitted by Simpleton21 on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 11:20am

Um, I think you hit every common one my DH will use also!  Ugh, it is such a turn off to watch men make these pathetic excuses for their underwhelming offspring and then over celebrate any minor acheivement!  Gross!  

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 12:40pm

Oooh I also used to hear, but if you would have done this or that, the he wouldn't have done blah. 

Yep, instead of it being his rotten kid's fault for any number of things, it was mine. 

I also frequently heard from formerSO's mother, "If I just loved him like he needed to be loved", there would be no issues. 

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 1:59pm

Oh God, almost all of that list, plus my favorite excuse for not punishing SS13 when he turns his data on after WiFi gets turned off at bedtime: 

"he has trouble sleeping and can't sleep unless he watches his phone".    

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 2:11pm

"I don't want her to hate me."  in the most pityful, manipulative, baby voice ever.  So sexy.

"Quit being manipulative, DH."

 

 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 2:19pm

Lolol, yes or "I don't want to constantly be getting on to him for something" - ok? How about ONE TIME? Also the closely related, "I don't want any drama". (FormerSO's parents lived about 3 minutes away...so if he got on to his son for anything, I mean anything, kid would call his grandmother crying. She would come flying down like a crazy @ss and "yell at us" for "being mean" and if his dad didn't want him she would, because she will love him like he needs to be loved.) (And then formerSO would have to hide his beer.)

Gosh I'm glad I left that circus. 

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 2:28pm

I asked DH once or twice after he said that: "But you're okay with me hating you?"

I either got some sort of backpedal or a "look" from him like I was being too much.

I've also pointed out the multitude of times he's been manipulated (besides trying to manipulate me). He thinks the skids are completely honest and truthful so he never sees it. (And it could be a lot worse, my skids are good kids.)

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 2:29pm

I feel bad for you guys. The most common thing my DH says about SS19 is, "he's embarrassing". I don't think I could live with this crazy denial these men are in. 

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 3:57pm

My revisionist history DH's famous line is "why are you so negative?"   Especially about his daughter.  I have repeatedly asked him for some positve substitute thing to say, as apparently silence is offensive, and his only response (right hand up to God) was "she has really good hair."  After I picked my jaw off the floor and stopped laughing, my response was "when did you become a 13 year old girl?"  Not my kindest hour but come on.  He deserved that.  If the best thing the man could come up with to laud his 22 year old daughter with is her hair, she is not a good person.  He tried.  I was there and I know he did and he was thwarted at every turn.  BM cared more about revenge than she did the future of their mutural children.  But he needs to come to terms with it.

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 4:44pm

Omg this is hilarious. My DHs response to a similar thing once was "she can be fun" and cited a time that they had went fishing 2 years ago. Fun is a quality you look for in a bar buddy, not your kid. And that was all he could think of was one thing 2 years ago that was fun? Kind of sad actually.

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 5:41pm

Maybe put them together?  Their hair is good and they can stick a worm on a hook without barfing?  That is something, right?  Add the ability to belch the alphabet and you may actually have a ballgame.

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 4:29pm

Omg I could have written this. The other common one here is "but it's gotten better." When there is zero reason for him to believe that. Ffs, to him not having heard any issues because she wasnt even here for a week means "its getting better."

LuluOnce's picture

Submitted by LuluOnce on Fri, 10/18/2019 - 6:11pm

I want to add!

"She didn't mean it that way." DH's go-to response whenever I call his attention to OSD's disrespectful or sneaky behavior, and always stated factually, as to imply that I do not know OSD's character as well as he and I am creating a problem where there isn't one.