O/T How kids handle the transition to college
DS is leaving for college in under two weeks. I’m trying not to panic that we don’t have everything he needs and have figured out packing and cars. But that’s just me. I am a planner and pre-planner and pre-pre-planner. I’m not hyper focused on that because I’m avoiding thinking about my feelings. I know I will miss DS but moreso I am so excited for him. I loved college and going off on my own. This is going to be a great adventure for him.
It seems DS feels the same way. But he came to me yesterday asking if he could have his core group of buds over soon. He said the rest of them seem to be having a hard time with the transition and are getting emotional. One of the kids has a full time day job but stays out really late with the others (he’s also leaving last for school so he may be the most lonely). They are trying to get together as often as possible.
Back at their graduation party (the group of boys had a joint one) the same boys that he mentioned are most weepy now are the ones who had moms who were crying at the party about their babies growing up.
Have you noticed that the kids reflect the parents attitudes when it comes to leaving the nest?
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I noticed that in my family.
I noticed that in my family. After HS my sister went 12 hours away and I went 15 hours away and not a tear was shed. We were excited and our parents were excited for us (and maybe for themselves getting rid of us!). But I haven't noticed it across the board. I've seen teens going off with excitement leaving hysterical mothers in the car, and I've seen calm parents having to pry their kid's hand from the car door handle (figuratively, of course). But I think the parents' reaction guides the child's reaction in many cases.
Reminds me of my sophomore year
I worked away from home during my college summers but my mom drove me to school my sophomore year. When we pulled onto campus I said: oh it’s so good to be home. Her head spun so fast I think she cracked some vertebrae. I got such a dirty look.
I really never felt like my parents house was my home after I left for college. Not because I felt unwelcome, it was just my mindset. My home is where I live *my* life and at that point it was college.
I was super nervous about
I was super nervous about going to college and had to be dragged there by my mother, who was super-excited to get her last child out of the nest.
I think it's about a kid's temperament, but certainly, a weepy parent might make a kid feel bad about leaving.
My now DS 20 was just fine,
My now DS 20 was just fine, he was ready to go. I was a bit of a wreck and had a hard time sending him off but he's done really well. First year in the dorms, last year in a house full of fellow athletes. He's grown up a lot in the last 2 years, comes home cooks and cleans up after himsel, is very self sufficient. Made lots of new friends but kept the old. Home for summer and hanging out with some of the old crew from high school. It's the best of both worlds for him.
Haha I couldn’t get out of
Haha I couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. My mom, on the other hand was crying and finding a million excuses to hang around when they took me to college. “I need to make your bed, I need to stock your pantry, I forgot to buy toilet paper...” At the time I was super annoyed. Now my little one is starting kindergarten tomorrow and I’m trying to keep my shit together. *lol*