Here’s a thought about not remembering
DH and I have been doing the wearable sleep monitors for a couple days now. His deep sleep is way low and only been in a decent range one day. Deep sleep is when you set down memories and move them to long term storage.
Perhaps our SOs don't get enough deep sleep and truly "don't remember it that way." Makes me wonder what things in his previous marriage to BM were affected by this lack or if it's come on gradually.
We were comparing data and I did mention to DH that this likely means if we both remember an event that it's more likely my memory is more accurate. (I get the whole perception/viewpoint argument but when he has 4-5 times less deep sleep than I do, events in general is going to be laid down less accurately and it's likely the brain doesn't have enough time to get it all moved so stuff gets dropped.)
At least he's concerned and is trying some things to see if he can get it to be better.
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He should see a Doctor in
Who does sleep problems.
Most memories are inaccurate
Most memories are inaccurate in general. But my youngest was a really poor sleeper, and yes the lack of uninterrupted sleep and poor sleep quality drastically hurt my ability to remember things.
Weak parents are definitely
Weak parents are definitely big on revising history, but it could be a combination of that AND the lack of quality rest.
My DH, who is now somewhat disabled by chronic pain, takes both pain meds and Ambien. I've learned not to bother discussing anything of substance once he takes his bedtime meds, and he does show lapses in memory that point to "pain brain". He was, however, glossing over inconvenient truths about his kids and family of origin well before his injury. He had a rough childhood, and interestingly, he and his siblings all claim to not remember much of their younger days.
Memory is definitely a funny thing.
My DH has lots of problems
My DH has lots of problems with deep sleep, he simply doesn't sleep well (a problem with those with ADD/ADHD) and often wakes up in the middle of the night/early morning for hours. Once I figured out that some of his issues with focus and forgetfulness and sometimes lack of patience were due to lack of sleep we started working on it. Since it's not to do with sleep apnea or snoring (I'm blessed that he's not a snorer!) it's about how his brain works so he's trying to correct/get it better, which is going ok unless he gets stressed about something.
I can think of when I'm exhausted with not enough sleep and think 'how the h*ll does he do this almost every single day?!"
Yes!
I wonder, too, how he handles every day sleep-deprived and wonder if he even knows it could be different. It was a huge fight to explain that I needed to sleep alone because he's such a poor sleeper. He's still unhappy about it but at least the data is in his face and every day and he can't ignore it.
This is interesting. My DH is
This is interesting. My DH is a horrible sleeper. I know he has sleep apnea for sure....then he wakes up for hours and can't get back to sleep....or he like sleep walks and eats a bunch of stuff (he claims he isn't sleep walking but damn I think he is) and then can't sleep or his stomach hurts.
then he either sleeps late on the weekends claiming he only fell in deep sleep at 5 am or just complains all day long that he slept bad (every single day). And he is always in a bad mood bad doesn't feel good....like every single mother effing day. It's really hard to live with someone who is constantly tired, or has a headache or stomach ache or is over heated or doesn't feel good.......I can't remember a day in the last year he hasn't complained.
it drives me insane.