Almost every weekend someone in our household has friend(s) over. I wouldn't be sent to my bedroom, though. The kids (whether step or bio) can entertain around me.

My SD never had friends over (she did not live with us). She tried to bring one one weekend (without asking, her and the friend just jumped in the car). DH said, "Um, no." He knew I would not appreciate him coming home with an extra kid, that I didn't even know.

SD has always lived at least 30 minutes from us. She didn't have any friends in our area and we didn't know any of her friends where she lived (not that she had many).

In your case, there is no way I would be banished to my bedroom so that SS & Company could take over my family room. I mean, it's too bad that BM is a drunk and he can't have his friend over there, but....

Nothing wrong with dad saying no to his little pumpkin. Your house is full...kid can hang with friends at THEIR houses

We have 5 kids between us, so the house is full and not the biggest. I do let the older girls have one over sometimes because they are more well-behaved than the younger ones

Just had this discussion with my SO. My SD wanted to bring a friend over tonight on her visit since she is already at BM's house with her now! UM - Hell to the NO!!!! I don't even want SD coming over b/c I am tired of her spoiled, entitled butt, I def don't want some random kid tagging along that I don't know. Last week she tried to come over on a day that wasn't already a planned visit with her cousin and I said no b/c my mom had just made it to my house after a 3 hour drive with my nephew as well. That of course started WW111 b/c SO had to actually tell his precious SD NO for once! When it was warmer out every weekend that we had SD she was asking to have one of the little neighborhood girls stay the night. I finally put my foot down with this. My son (same age as SD) who lives with us FULL time doesn't even have company as often as SD thinks she needs it. Luckily SO already told her NO for tonight. I told him he needs to explain to SD that unlike her BM we have a full house. At BM's she is an only child and I'm sure BM likes letting her have a friend over b/c it gets SD out of her hair...SD constantly wants to be the center of attention and entertained. I think BM is finally tired of dealing with the monster she created so having friends over helps BM. BM only does things that are beneficial to BM. Not the same in my home...we have 3 kids including SD and a dog and a cat and not a big house. We aren't exactly rolling in the dough and adding another mouth to dinner and breakfast and lunch (if they stay the night) can be financially straining. Also the last minute requests are getting annoying as well. BM is on Christmas break and doesn't have to work this week. Both SO and I work this week and SD has to go back to her at 8 tonight anyways. I think one of the main reasons it irritates me the most is b/c SD and BM are always going on about how SD needs daddy/daughter time and doesn't get enough daddy time (when they are trying to manipulate and get their way) but when SD actually has her daddy time she wants to invite a friend over and spend all her daddy time in her room with her friend?!?!

Do you allow BD15 and BD22 to have friends over? If so, what are the rules around them?

If BD15 is allowed friends every weekend, it's hard to tell SS15 he can't, even if BD15 lives there more than SS15 does. That's doubly true if he only gets to see his friends on weekends he is with you because BM is a worthless drunk on weekends (which begs the question, why is he living with her if she is a drunk?).

Now, do I think he needs friends over every weekend and all weekend? No. I think one night a month should suffice. He can spend the other weekends rotating with different friends. That's what I did at that age - one weekend at my house, one weekend at a friend's house, one weekend home, and one weekend usually full of activities with friends/school/church.

I also agree with others who say to banish the kids to their rooms or another room of the house. My parents NEVER let us invade their space if they were using it, and we survived. I'm assuming the kids have phones, laptops, and maybe even a television in their rooms? They're fine. They'll keep themselves entertained. He'll, I only had a radio and got along fine.

We rarely had sleepovers and only occasionally had kids go with us on vacation that were friends of the girls.

Basically since DH had them just EOWE and we didn't live in the same town as their friends, having sleepovers would have most likely meant a whole weekend of having an extra kid around. Plus, these are kids the girls could see every day at school and the weekends they weren't with their dad... so since you only got a little time with your dad.. you should be focused on visitation with DAD.

Even if it had been possible for kids to come over, there were rules about kids in the house when we weren't there. Also, if they did come in the house, they had to go to their rooms.. not the family room.

As long as your rules are fairly consistent with all kids, I would be ok with friends over, especially given his mother's situation. However they need to respect that others live in the home too.

NEVER! When SD lived with us from the ages of 14-16 she never had anyone spend the night. Having SD in the house was bad enough, I was not about to have SD plus 2 or 3 clones of herself, skulking around in volleyball spanx, and crop tops, eating all my food, giggling and tee heeing like annoying teenage girls do and being crammed up DH ass. Nope! Thankfully DH felt the same way so there was no arguing about this.

BS8 just started having a friend spend the night last year and they do really well. they play and have fun but aren't crazy and don't take over the house. Hell, friend spent the night after BS8's b-day party on Saturday and they put themselves to bed at 8:45 lol We hope to have our basement pimped out by the time BS is teenager, so if he wants friends over they can hang out down there.

This Shiplap happens at our house also. All of the kids are adults and our rule was that friends of the opposite sex was not allowed over when we the parents weren't home.

Well Princess broke that rule early on when she like boys and now that she is in to girls she thinks the rules don't apply to her. She thinks we are stupid and don't notice that she is seeing this girl. Dadddeee has turned a blind eye.

So now when our joint son has friends over she tattles. Dad give him Shitlap but doesn't say anything to princess.

Double standards at it finest.

SD14 never has friends over, unless it's her birthday.
It's weird. I think it's because she's lazy and doesn't want to clean or entertain people, or get dressed. Her friends are also busy with activities and she's not. I think she's similar at BMs, but there she's got a very long term friend who lives practically next door and I know she stays the night sometimes.

SD11 has one friend over now and then, but SD11 mostly goes to that friend's house for sleepovers. It's the Troublesome Friend (SD11 and she had a falling out recently so they haven't been spending as much time together - yay!). SD11 has made some new friends near us but she's never invited them over. She's also had more friends stay the night at BMs by far.

I know this bothers DH, but he also doesn't make much effort to get them together or to make sure the basics are there. The SDs are also a little odd in some behaviors...BUT I just stay out of it.

I've literally tried to get SD9 to invite people over... No go... For her birthday she only wanted family.... Honestly I think she gets embarrassed early, and between the unliveable conditions BM used to drag her to and the fact MIL hoards a bit and we're with them right now... I think she doesn't want her friends to see. Something I can totally sympathize with. I'm a bit of a neat freak and how messy the house is drives me INSANE some days.

SD4 really just wants to hang with her cousins, they're over ALL the time (unfortunately... lol... Love them... They're just loud and lack manners most of the time...)