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Irene H.'s Blog

They’re all a$$holes

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Back to school means a lot of paperwork, a stack for each of the three kids. My guy doesn’t do paperwork, so I settle in (before any of you say anything, he does a lot of stuff for me too). I have to have the kids sign some stuff, and when I call SD12 in to sign hers, she’s snotty! “Why are YOU  the one signing these? (Sneer, disdain)” What I wanted to say? “Because neither one of your parents are doing their freaking job! You’re welcome!”

Pattern

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Does anyone else notice a pattern with visitation? We’re week on/week off with the Skids. The last two days of the weeks they’re here, I just focus on “get through this, get through this...” And for two days after they leave, we (I) am in recovery mode. And for two days before they come back, I’m filled with dread. So I really only get three normal days, every other week. *sigh*

Fed up

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I had a serious talk with my SO. I had a good stepmom, so I wasn’t afraid of any of this, even though he tried to warn me. His kids are horrible. At least one of them has significant mental health issues, and the other two are lazy, selfish, and rude. I could go on for days, with examples of their behavior, but I’ll spare everyone. I’m sure we all are familiar with the jacked up kids/jacked up ex dynamic.

Not what I’m used to

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I grew up in a blended family, and it was way different than what I’m experiencing now. I think the big difference is my bio mom disappeared, and my stepbrother’s bio dad disappeared, so we didn’t have the back and forth. But the ex in our situation is very involved. Even that would be ok, if she weren’t nuts.

Counseling

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I finally convinced SO that SK1 needed counseling, and the ex finally agreed. When first approached, she said, “How are we going to get him to go?” She literally didn’t want to fight with SK1 about getting help; it wasn’t worth it to her. And yes, she actually said that, in so many words. Because apparently a 14 year old has the ability to determine his own medical/mental health care, and a parents’ job is to just go along with whatever he wants. 

Train wreck

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I was a step kid, and my mom (actually stepmom, but I don’t call her that; she did the job, more than my bio mom ever did) wasn’t perfect, but she did love me and parent me. I remember my parents making an effort. They had an idea what they wanted us to be like when we grew up, and they had a plan for making it happen. I don’t understand the haphazard parenting I’m looking at, now that I’m the stepmom.

Relief

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Its so nice when they go back to their mother. Mother’s Day sucked. I took them shopping for her, and her mother, who she’s not even talking to. I carted them all over town, even wrapped HER presents. They haven’t spoken to me since. Now I can relax. It’s always such a relief when they go. I get a week of peace before it starts again. *sigh*

So frustrated

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I went from being a successful career woman with no kids, to having three with problems. Truly only two are problematic, but I’m at a loss with them. My guy and his ex adopted a sibling group of three drug babies. What’s known about them is that by 28, their bio mom had 14 kids, all taken by the state. The kids are almost exactly a year apart (12, 13, 14) and they all have different bio dads. Two of the bio dads are dead, and the third is in prison.  The oldest is a psychopath. He throws screaming, cussing fits at the slightest provocation.

So frustrated

Irene H.'s picture

I went from being a successful career woman with no kids, to having three with problems. Truly only two are problematic, but I’m at a loss with them. My guy and his ex adopted a sibling group of three drug babies. What’s known about them is that by 28, their bio mom had 14 kids, all taken by the state. The kids are almost exactly a year apart (12, 13, 14) and they all have different bio dads. Two of the bio dads are dead, and the third is in prison.  The oldest is a psychopath. He throws screaming, cussing fits at the slightest provocation.

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