SS16 hasn't spoken to me since the night he got caught dealing drugs almost a year ago, when we had a pretty significant argument. He left our house altogether shortly thereafter, and has lived exclusively with his mom ever since. Our home is very peaceful without him in it.

BM came to my DH* a few months ago, said she'd heard a rumor we were getting married. He told her it wasn't true yet, but likely would be before long. Unbeknownst to me, he was planning to propose at Christmas.  BM told DH he should wait until their oldest, SS16, is out of the house. DH told BM (1)SS16 is already out of our house, thanks to her, and (2)SS16 doesn't make those decisions for DH. My thought, upon hearing this, is that part of the problem with SS16 acting like he runs the show, is crap like that. She treats him like he does, and expects everyone else too, as well.

SS15 has been in trouble, almost his whole life. From about third grade on, he’s been routinely kicked out of class, kicked off the bus, lost friendships because people don’t want their kids around him, and wreaked havoc at home. Some of his issues are probably genetic (he’s adopted, was born addicted to alcohol and drugs, etc). Some of his issues are partly due to his parents’ inability to deal with him. But truthfully, I don’t believe he’s salvageable.

So today, my SS15 got busted at school with drugs. He’s dealing Oxy and pot. 

At the very least, he’s getting expelled.

I would probably feel more about it, if I were a little bit surprised. But after meeting him only a couple times, I told my BF, “If he lives long enough, he’s going to prison.”

And even now, his dad won’t listen to what he is.