I honestly think that parents should be somewhat forthcoming in age appropriate ways about their estate plans.

In my parent's case.. it's just my father at this point.. and there is a bit of real estate and a couple of trusts that will be split 5050 with my brother.. or if he passes with his son.  We both know how it's goingto go.. but we are both also in our 50's.. and I manage my father's finances for him now.. when we were 15.. we didn't have the same level of knowledge obviously.

I guess some of this depends on the situation too.. are we talking about what happens with their bio parent's estate.. or are they asking the SM/SF if they plan to share THEIR estate with skids.. and of course that could depend.. if both partners have biological kids.. they may decide to work it out so that the estates are ultimately split.

But in the interim.. maybe a trust is set up so that one partner could have access if they had need during the remainder of their life.. maybe the home is theirs to use.. but when they pass the home goes to one set of kids if the home came into the relationship as the first deceased partner's property?

IDK.. I know in my case.. I pass.. it all goes to my SO.. and he can leave it to who he wants.. and that will likely be split with his two daughters equally.. if HE goes first.. I would get it all.. and then when I pass.. would determine how I wanted to share it.

The reality is I will likely inherit a fairly good chunk and I have told him I intend to "enjoy" it.. and am not overly concerned about leaving it behind..lol (I have no bios).. but I have a decent relationship with his kids.. so I am not opposed to them ultimately having some benefit.

like an aggressive question for a SK to be asking their step parent. My reaction initially would be to tell them it is none of their business what I am doing, they are welcome to ask  their parent what they are doing. 

but as a person who used be in estate work, its no ones business other than the person with the estate.  

Plus,..my question would be....What are YOU doing to increase your wealth?" Don't just rely on my wealth..because it is is just that MINE.

I might ask THEM about their personal business.

If i were elderly and my kid asked me, that would be one thing. If i were fairly young and one of the skids asked me...i wouldn't leave my drink unattended around them.

I'm (half) joking! 

either niece and nephew or cousins or local animal shelter.

"Your BM stole all of it, ask her where it is."

lololol

Laugh and say "what generational wealth?"

My SS21 asked us about "his" inheritance over dinner one night when his GF was there.  He knows Im extremely private and he pissed me off.  My husband said, this is not discussed and you will find out what you are NOT getting when I pass away.

He specifically wanted to know if there was going to be enough money left after WE passed to be able to pay any mortgage we may have left on our new house.  

DH laid into him!  Told him #1) when I pass it all goes to Classy. #2) If Classy passes away after me anything that is left over from me will be split between you and your brother.  SS21 interupted him and asked, but what if you both pass away at the same time do we split everyones (meaning mine too).  

Me: That is an absolute NO SS21! Everything that I leave is going solely to my nephew.  If DH and I both pass away then the house and all land we own is split 3 ways but nephew gets all my pension, 401K, life insurance, etc.  You and your brother will split your DH's.   He was not happy and thought he should get part of mine.  hahahaha.  Said Nope you have 2 parents they will take care of it. 

I guess upon reflection.. there are a two issues at hand.  First.. what do YOU intend to do regarding your estate.. and have you and your SO discussed or agreed how each of you want things to go.. that includes what kind of joint finance/assets you might have that would need to have a distribution succession plan.

THEN.. the other issue is how much of that is your Skid's business.. 

IF the skid is an adult.. and there are plans for them to ultimately inherit some family properties.. that is fine to give them the 30K mile viewon that.

Personally.. the message that I would give is that there may be something that is distributed at some point, but no one can forcast the future and assets and investments you both have now could very well be exhausted by the time you pass.  It's also important to impress upon them that any of this is not "theirs" to have any input and they may be quite surprised to learn that you won't be dying on their schedule.

I remember being in my 20's.. thinking.. well.. my parents will likely be gone when I am another 20 years older.. because.. when you are young.. that seems like a long time.. and your parents are already "old" right?  Quelle suprise that my dad is now 94 and I am almost 60 and don't have that inheritance.. and I am not saying I was wishing my parents in the grave when I was younger.. just had a very youth centric way of looking at things.. and that is not the reality.

My SD's know that they won't get anything until both my SO and I are "done".. and I have reminded them that you may end up waiting a lot longer than you think.. look at my dad.. and they know I don't have any bios.. so what is left will go to them.. but I haven't made any "promises".. because who knows.. I may need a load for our long term care at some point.. we may end up leaving little to nothing!

Oh boy.  I have to have this discussion with my parents next week. They are in their mid-80s with health issues. In fact, my dad is having surgery next week that I'm leaving to go help with. I have a copy of their wills/POAs and all that, but I also need to know their net worth at this point becase DH and I are doing our own estate planning and retirement planning and inheritence is a part of that, or at least "estimated inheritance" is a part of that. I think my dad will be ok with sharing it because he's a finance guy and gets it. We'll see. 

As far as SKIDS go?  I think OSD asked one time, and I said, none of your business right now and shut her down.

I'll need to share our planning with my sister and niece when we are done, but that's it. 

We married when both his kids and mine were young adults. I was a widow and had assets from first marriage. He was divorced. Ex got most of the assets. (which the steps blew through after BM died). He got the debts. I insisted on a prenup. The assets from my first marriage go to my kids. The small amount of assets he had are for his kids. What we have amassed together is divided among all kids ( if there is anything left) on death of second spouse. And since DH has a diagnosis that will most likely need nursing home care in a few years, there will most likely be little or none of joint assets left.

I'd have gleefully sidestepped that question and taken an intellectual approach about elite class and wealth building just so I could watch their eyes glaze.
Then I might have mentioned that DH has no wealth to pass along. Almost all assets are mine. At least he has no debt. And how I pass along any remaining wealth is none of their business  

I'd say "Your dad and I are raising capabale and hard working kids that will generate their own wealth, hope you got the memo!" LOL

Else to ,leave my "wealth ". to.  Made a will leaving everything to SD 

Enjoy the hell out of it.  Skid into the curb outside of the pearly gates with the engine and tires smoking with a big grin on your face shouting "What a ride!!!!'.

Whatever is left, define how you want it distributed and put clear boundaries in place on how, who, what, and when it will be awarded to your heirs.

The only heirs there are, are the ones you name.

For us, DW and I are each other's sole heir ane beneficiary.  In the event of our co-demise SS is our joint heir.  He gets it all, though it goes into trust until he either completes a Bachelor's degee from an accredited institution or turns 40. Whichever is earlier.  That is our final parenting from beyond the grave effort.

My brother and I are equal heirs to our parents.  It is split equally between us. In the event I hnerrit from mom and dad, that will go to DW upon my demise.

The equal split between my brother and I went into their Wills decades ago.  Mom considered changing it to split their estate equally between all of their genetic downline. My brother vetoed that. I have no BKs. He has 3. He informed mom (& dad) that it was not fair for he and his family to inherrit 80% of mom and dad's estate just because he had kids and I did not.  He informed them that the Wills stays the same or he would vector their entire estate to me because it was his job to leave an estate to his kids.  

Both little bro and I have been clear with our parents. We want them to enjoy their lives and assets. Neither of us need them or want them. Our preference is for them to spend it all having fun.

Dad says his goal is to bounce the last check he ever writes.  I hope he does.  He also has long held that he wanted to fly a plane into the side of a mountain when he was 85.  Thankfully as he and mom and approached that age more closely and are very healthy with their full faculties, that plan has been abandoned.

DW and I do well. My little bro does spectacularly well.  I'm very proud of my babby bro. He is an outstanding person and professional.

Love ya bro!!!!

My opinion is that any heirs have to have specific performance criteria to inherrit a single Cent much less a large inherritance.  I would not want my assets to be squandered by a sofa slug who has never made a life for themselves. 

I woud rather drive through town at a high rate of speed tossign handfulls of $100 bills until every penny was gone than leave it to a slug.

As we were growing up there were periodic family financial state reviews. Mom and dad still do them with my brother and I, and my DW, periodically.  We do the same with SS. He knows where it all is, where the Will is filed, etc......

So many bad things can happen when someone of means passes intestate or when their heirs are clueless.

DW's Aunt is fairly well off and is leaving all of her assets equally between DW and her 3younger sibs, and their 3 cousins from MIL's and Aunt's youngest sister.  If MIL passes before the aunt. If MIL survives her younger sister, MIL gets an equal share to the 7 Nieces and Nephews.   DW is the executrix for her Aunts estate. 

Which drove some interesting actions.  My SIL, DW's youngest sib is a crook and has ripped off the Aunt for multiple 5 figures over the years. To protect the interest of the Aunt's heirs DW would have to sue her sister on behalf of the estate. To avoid that, the Aunt agreed to ammend her Will leaving SIL exactly what she owes the Aunt. So, SIL gets shit for nothing, but also does not get sued or prosecued for ripping off the Aunt.

I am proud of DW that she is keeping a firm foot up the ass of her idiot sister.

Nope, SS has never asked. Though he has never had to. We have kept him in the loop on the basics of our financial position since he was in his mid to late teens.  He is our sole heir as he is an only child in our marriage.

Part of why we directed a trust in the event he inherrits before he is 40 is to protect our assets from the SpermClan. If we had passed when he was a minor custody would have gone to the SpermClan. My family would have battled that brutally, but... the outcome would have likely been a foregone conclusion.  Had they had custody, not one cent would have been made available to them for their direct use.  Clothes for SS, food for SS, etc... would have been provided, but not one Cent that the SpermClan could use at their own discretion.