ImperfectlyPerfect's Blog
Patterns & patterns
Friends, I’m noticing a troubling pattern in my relationships and would really appreciate some thoughts.
I tend to evaluate myself first when things go wrong, asking for feedback and considering if I need to course-correct. However, when I see the same issues arising repeatedly, I worry that I’m missing something bigger—like not seeing the “forest through the trees.”
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Mendez Brothers...anybody else watching? Does it freak you out a bit?
Hello all,
I am NOT a paranoid person but I finished the Mendez brothers series on Netflix...there were some scary parrallels that I see at times. This is not influenced by the series - I have been observing this for years. For the record I have adult SKIDs, but these behaviors also showed up when they were kids.
Behaviors such as:
LOCKING my bedroom door because sometimes a slight fear enters my mind that I am in a bit of danger with the SKIDs. No one has actually attacked me but it still enters my mind sometimes.
Dark Black Cloud hovering over everyone the SKIDs touch
Friends,
First off I want to thank YOU. This particular group of stepparents have gotten me through some hard/dark/awful times and the shrewd / excellent advice and stories have helped shape my mind and behaviors to see reality. I was that stepmom that wanted everything for them and really dove in, sacraficed - and finally after SKID adulthood realized I was no better off than any other stepparent and possibly worse off than the ones that chose to do nothing (...if I were to do it all over again, I would do nothing and disengage right away.)
The Subtraction Method
The Subtraction Method theory recieved a LOT of popularity on another blog in this forum when I posted about it and from there I thought it needs to have it's own blog...I REALLY enjoy hearing stepparents tell how they have adopted their own version of the subtraction method. To note - this theory is coming from yours truly, a fellow stepparent and although I have dubbed it the "subtraction method" this is really something many veterans inherently do and have gone on WAY before my time...but this is an excellent step OUT of stepmartyrdom.
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Advice on how to keep SKIDs from living rent-free in your mind
Hey Steptalkers, what do you do to keep the SKIDs from living rent-free in your mind? How do you set yourself free from ruminating on the past, getting irritated with their dumb decisions or holding on to resentment when they mistreat you? Are there tips, activities, ways, activities or things to get them out of there?
Is your SKID a covert narcissist? BONUS points for examples of Adult SKIDs
Is your SKID a covert narcissist? I've been reading up on the signs/traits - listed below. Please share stories and examples on why your SKID may be a covert narcissist and the traits they have shown. BONUS points for examples of Adult SKIDs.
Passive aggression
Lack of empathy
Hypersensitive to criticism
Dysfunctional relationships
Envy
Hypersensitive
Manipulation
An exaggerated sense of self
Depression and anxiety
Grandiose fantasies
Procrastinating
Sense of entitlement
Subtle smugness
What are YOU doing about generational wealth?
"What are YOU doing about generational wealth?"
Anybody had a SKID straight up ask you this? If so love to hear your stories.
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