Apologies for previous blog. Was a little harsh. Side note-DH is HORRIBLE at meal planning and will not do any shopping when he has ss because it "takes away time" so the idea of me buying only for myself and dh buying for visitation does not work. He will run to the corner store for milk but that is it. He is pretty good about planning at least one meal for visitation weekend but the rest is out the window/eat whatever looks good, meal plans be damned. Example: bought a bunch of pasta/sauces/chicken sausage. He makes 2 family size frozen meals that would have fed just the two of us for four days. I'm debating on looking up 'crock pot meals' that I can prep ahead of time and label with a 2 or 3 for number of servings. That way dh can just open the freezer and throw something in and I don't have to stress anymore about stupid meal plans.

The biggest irritation was the baking. DH never bakes. If he would have asked for something to make with ss I had easy stuff I would have had no issue with him making: cake mix, pudding, and a few easy cookie mixes where you just add three ingredients and done but it's still a "father/son/bonding" activity. SS can mix everything together, put them on the pan, etc. Cookies from scratch used three of the ingredients I had bought that could have make three other things in large quantities to bring with lunches for the month, that's why I was annoyed. I hate being so crunched financially...this "no overtime" thing is just the pits. You never realize how much you were relying on your overtime until one day *poof* it's gone, and then you see what you REALLY make per payday.

Brother send me a text randomly saying they found mold in the basement at my grandmas and that's why he's been in and out of the hospital so much. (they pumped him full of antibiotics and released him AGAIN after his lung function went up to 60). I'm starting to lose track of how long and how many times he's been in/out of the hospital now. He asked if he could come stay with us for up to a month or more while a family member and friend remove the mold. He said he'll sleep on the couch.
My dad is currently renting a bedroom in a house shared with I think four other people and has no space or a bed for him. My brother obviously doesn't work due to his health issues. He was getting social security but then they took it away because they told him he wasn't sick enough. He's been fighting it ever since, even when hospitalized they denied it. I am not familiar with anything ssi related so I'm not going to comment further on that.

I don't know what to do. Of course I want to help him, but financially I doubt we could do it. He has no license or car so he would be at home 24/7. We usually turn the heat down to 60 when we are at work, I don't think that would go over well with him sleeping in the basement and with his health being on the mend. DH and I also eat breakfast and lunch at work during the week (granola bars, instant oatmeal, ramen, etc for me, no clue what dh eats) we don't buy for during the week. Brother is accustomed to people helping him when he needs it and has never lived on his own or had a budget before, I'm sure the cost of food and extra utilities didn't occur to him, he just knows he needs to be out during the removal process. If I had my stupid overtime back this wouldn't be an issue. He also has a nebulizer machine and a vest machine for his lung therapy. If a hair dryer plugged in upstairs blew a fuse, I worry about the machines.
I hate that the cost of living is so high that trying to give back and help others feels close to impossible! Having your MIL over or your brother over shouldn't be a "eat or don't eat" scenario, you should be able to enjoy the company and spend time with loved ones. MIL might be emotionally overwhelming to have around but it could be worse, at least she wants to be around. I'm trying to be more grateful of the fact that at least we HAVE family that want to spend time with us, a lot of people don't and wish they did. I'm going off topic. Sorry.

Mom is NOT taking her medication again, not going to therapy, and being basically nutso again. It got to the point that grandma called my aunt (the one with hidden health issues) about finding somewhere for mom to go because she can't handle her any more. I LOVE how I try to help months ago and nobody listens, now grandma wants her "out". To summarize: aunt called the doctors at the university to do an evaluation on mom to see if they can put her on a 72 hour hold. If they could do that, they would have grounds to find her temporary housing somewhere. Police and worker showed up. Mom was swearing up a storm, calling them "meth-heads" and cussing like a sailor. Then it was like she realized what was going on, a switch flipped. She went in the room where my brother stays and laid on the couch with her hands behind her head like she didn't have a care in the world. They asked her to come to therapy. She said no. They asked her to take her pills. She said no. They asked her to come to a treatment center. Again, NO. They left the room and told grandma they would file a report, but AGAIN: if there is no show of violence or proof of being a hazard to herself they can't do anything. So we now have two reports filed and about 3 police reports from a few years ago, but still no course of action. She called me while I was at work on Friday (I couldn't answer) and asked if she could move in with us. Then my brother called on Saturday with his request.

Dad already offered to pick my brother up and bring him to our house, maybe he can help a little financially with his food costs I don't know. Utilities are a completely different story, if leaving a light on for one night twice in a month is enough to increase the electric bill by a noticeable amount I don't know how having someone there 24/7 will be, especially with his 3xs/day treatments.

Yes DH and I could use therapy. However between visitation, work, and constant financial and family drama unless we can find an online course I doubt we can do it. I feel like I should be giving my relationship with DH more attention but this stuff with finances and now my mom and brother don't leave me with a lot left, I feel emotionally spent. Sometimes I wish I wasn't relied on so much. I think that's why I vent on here as much as I do. It's hard to know if people come to you because they see you as capable of fixing the problem, or if they come to you because they just want to dump the issue on somebody else.