Funny how BM rules don't apply to DH
I love how for the regular schedule when we drop off SS at 5 on Sunday...if we have a large late lunch (SS has no bedtime, wakes up around 10 a.m.) and if SS isn't hungry..he won't eat a full dinner before drop off. BM throws a fit and guilt trips DH to no end. However...this holiday schedule we pick SS up at 630...and he hasn't eaten a gdamn thing. Same with a 9p.m. pick up for certain holidays. She would rather starve SS and guilt trip DH. WTF happened to parents actually PARENTING. REALLY BM??? God forbid we eat dinner earlier ourselves before certain holiday pick up(non major holidays), then it's a scramble to find SS something for one person. It's hit or miss if he's eaten.
Regular visitation pick up...she is notorious for feeding SS right when DH picks him up. Then he picks at his dinner, he's not hungry until RIGHT BEFORE drop off, leading to a nasty call from BM again "oh so you not feeding him?" And DH has asked her to give him a smaller snack...nope.....sandwich, chips, soup, etc are her "snacks". I can time her calls...usually within a half hour of dropping him off she calls. Happens at least once a week. It' been over 8 years. Constant food battle. Grow up. Im not going to constantly cook for 3 and have him not eat. Leftovers? Good luck, SS won't eat them. So tired of this "food battle". Might as well throw money out the window.
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Sucks
Eh - my ex is like this (about other things). Do not answer the detail of her queries. "Of course I'm providing adequate nutrition for XXXX" and refuse to say anything more.
Both sides are playing games.
Both sides are playing games. Feed the kid when he wants food, do not force him to eat when he is not hungry. It is HIS body-not BM's and not your DH's to decide when food must go down the hatch. He will eat when you cook or he will starve until he gets back to BMs but keep the option to eat with y'all open. This is a little pebble y'all are making into a mountain.
For these calls, if he must answer, he needs to just laugh at her because it is extremely ridiculous to get mad at something so stupid. Then he needs to tell her "he didn't eat because he wasn't hungry-have a great weekend" click. done. the end. As for her feeding him before he gets back....well that's her right as his parent to feed him and it is okay. Bottom line is that he is fed regardless who is feeding him. Your DH screwed up by trying to control BM and what she gives him before he comes back (the snacks) If she is high conflict which seems obvious she is, then of course she is going to start shoving 3 course dinners down his throat before he gets back to you just to screw with your dinners. Stop playing her Control game, stop letting her drag your DH in to it and stop letting someone else's food consumption upset you. There will be bigger hills to die on. Ignore the whore.
If you read my other blogs
If you read my other blogs this irritation would make more sense. We can't afford to keep making food that isn't getting eaten. Likewise, when she doesn't feed him on the late pick up nights, it dips into other meal plans meant for later. Our grocery list literally consists of "visitation meals for 3/non-skid days meals for 2". It's easier said then done. He can't afford his kid.
If he's not going to eat, can
If he's not going to eat, can you or your DH take the leftovers to work for your lunch??
If the kid is a LITTLE hungry, what about a PBJ?
SS won't eat PBJ. Over 8
SS won't eat PBJ. Over 8 years together have never seen him eat one and have seen him refuse them. BM says that's "poor people food" so SS has a complex, not his fault. Ask DH. And yes, we could take the leftovers, but that still doesn't fix the problem of replacing that meal plan for the week. Other than granola bars we don't eat at work. Me because we are short-staffed and I run my department, DH I don't know what he does. He feels like he's a bad father if he offers SS a can of soup or something, it has to be a meal.