Hi,
I got a ton of messages and I am so thankful for the support. I made the mistake of sharing my issue with a couple people at work and I find people's reaction to the situation all about the kid. So basically "screw them". Close my mouth and do what needs to be done for survival of the other 5 members of the household. Hello? (big sarcastic one) does anyone not SEE plain and simple for the last couple years how much I have thought over and over - he is a kid - he is my husband's son - I have to help solve this and make it better!!!

What people don't understand is that age 16 this young man is capable of making his own choices and is a "child" anymore. If his choices were to flip a sign upside down, leave a seat up, put dishes sideways in the dishwasher, ETC...list goes on....I have been living with that off and on for a couple years. This last time I was so busy I completely ignored the passive aggressive poking directed at me.

So he had to step it up with something that is a step below a violent act.

I would see how anyone would last in a house this long with a kid targeting you and see how long anyone would last. Luckily many of you here understand.

I am not where to go from here. I scheduled another appt for my husband and I with counselor. BUT, my SS is not in counseling right now. He and his BM pressured ending the counseling last spring after he went for about 1.5 years. We had to do a legal letter to even get him to counseling in the beginning cause the BM fought it.

We don't think she wants him full-time. He told us he wants to stay but is not going to be nice to me. He claims he is going to lay off me but he won't. I can already see that. What do I do if the kid has no counselor - and my husband is resistant to him leaving. Wants me to give him a chance to change when over the past 3.5 years there has been no attempts to change nor ability to fix SS.