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What should he say??

IAmALady77's picture

Ew. BM texted SO this morning asking "do you want to go to the circus with me and SD?"

umm obviously the answer is hell no.

But we are trying to be nice if only so she looks like a bigger dingbat when we take her back to court. When is she going to get it through her head that they are not a big happy family like she seems to think? They were never married, barely dated but she has this whole mentality "well he ruined my life by knocking me up so the least he can do is stay with me and our family"....no.

She still sees me as "the other woman" after over a YEAR. She will text him things like "Im in the bath and im horny" but then turn around and say things like hes a pathetic father and needs to sign over his rights so her "fiance" can adopt SD. WTF?

How should he respond to this text without sounding like an asshole? Ususally when she invites him on dates with her and their daughter he usually just asks can "lady" come? That usually shuts her up.

Now keep in mind, I am all for BM and BDs getting along for the sake of the kids, HOWEVER...him going on dates with her with SD acting like they are a family unit is super innapropriate to me and him too!

Plus, SD is only 2 years old, and BM and SO have not been together since before she was born so its not like they have to continue doing things together because that is what SD is used to you know?

Im just so annoyed because I could easily get along with her if she made even a little bit of effort, Im a pretty easygoing person....any thoughts?

Comments

IAmALady77's picture

It doesnt really suck because we were already planning on taking her with our family lol. Dont want to tell her that because then she would mess with the visitation so we cant :/

HadEnoughx5's picture

^^^I agree^^^ Don't respond to her. As long as he keeps responding she feels she is getting his attention, which makes her feel as is she is getting "back" at the "other" woman. Just ignore her. I'm sure she will try something else. It's like a child, they keep going until they get Mommy and Daddy's attention.

red flags's picture

Why go to the circus? She sounds like she IS the circus! I agree with the advice above. She's trying to get a rise out of you. Just ignore her. It's exhausting, but trying to show her why this behavior is inappropriate would be about as productive as smashing your head into a brick wall. Good luck

asheeha's picture

no response is what we do when bm invites dh to to things like this. ignore it completely. i don't think the courts will care about this at all.

IAmALady77's picture

thanks everyone! He never texted her back so she just sent him pictures of SD at the circus lol. But you guys are right, I didnt even see it as being passive aggressive, makes sense though Smile

IAmALady77's picture

Oh ya he is 100% on that. Hes made it VERY clear time and time again that the only thing they will EVER have in common is their daughter and if it doesnt pertain only to SD then he has no interest. Part of me REALLY wants to send screen shots of all these disgusting texts to her "fiance" but Im trying really really really hard not to be juvenile lol

Rags's picture

I would reply "Sure, sounds like fun. I will call in a few minutes to arrange to come pick up the tickets for Lady and I from you. I look forward to spending time with our kid and in getting to know your DF a bit better. Glad to see you are including us. Thanks."