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Not sure what our next step should be (repost).

IAmALady77's picture

So I checked in about 3 months ago after being gone a month before that and things were going well for the most part with BM, SO was doing more parenting, I had stepped back because SD3 was becoming an obnoxious toddler and things were generally calm.

LMAO! *sigh, at least I had a few months calm right?? I'll start at the beginning:

At the beginning of January, I let a friend, we'll call her Stacey (not her real name) move into our basement with her 2 children TEMPORARILY, like a month TOPS, because she was leaving an "abusive" relationship that she had been in since she was 16 (is now 22) and needed a place to stay while she got on her feet.
Not a problem at all, I've known her for a while and she seemed normal enough, a little naive and flighty at times but not an issue as a temporary room mate. HAHAHAHA.

She brought her 2 children, one being 1 year old and the other SD's age, 3. She also cared for another 1 year old during the day as her "income". I should have known then that there was no way she was actually going to get on her feet as she refused to get conventional job. But I digress. HER CHILDREN ARE AWFUL. Or should I say, SHE IS AWFUL. Her 3 year old wasted NO time at all breaking several *expensive household items, colored ALL over my walls with crayon, dumped an entire canister of baby powder all over SD's bedroom, the list goes on and on. ALL while spending the day running through the house screaming. Literally. This child is a demon. And Stacey has NO control what so ever.
This in itself was a whatever moment to me. They were only going to be living here for a little while, and I fully planned on scrubbing the house thouroughly when they left. Whether or not her kids grew up to be horrible monsters was really none of my concern.
Until we got SD for our 2 day visitation. Remember we are on a 2-4-2-4 schedule with BM where we have her for 2 overnights, BM has her for 4 ect.

Other than SD3 going through normal toddler absolute brat syndrom, she is a pretty good kid. You ask her to do something, she does it. You tell her not to do something, she doesn't do it. She is almost completely potty trained, a good kid right? HAHAHAHA

Stacey is what I like to call "a damn hippy useless waste of space". Her idea of parenting is when your 3 year old is thrashing on the floor and repeatedly kicks you, punches her sister and breaks a 40 dollar lamp, we CRUSH them to our ample bosem and coo sweet reminders of love in their ear. If SD ever acted like that she would get a swift swat on the behind and placed firmly in her time out chair. She is not that bad however so SO has never had to swat her. Timeouts are standard in our home.
Naturally, SD picked up on this passive parenting and decided IMMEDIATELY that she did not have to mind SO or I anymore.
"SD, please put those toys back in your room, they do not belong out here" (SD looks at Stacey and hides behind her). "SD it's time for lunch, hope up in your chair" (SD looks to STacey for validation. Stacey purposely makes eye contact with SD and smiles while we are trying to enforce discipline and routine. I don't effing think so.
I had words with Stacey.

Fast forward a few days, I made delicious taco noodles for dinner. One of SD's favorite meals I might add. Stacey is the kind of parent that when her obnoxious entitled little shit of a toddler throws her food on the floor and starts screaming that she wants icecream, Stacey goes and gets it for her, served on a gold encrusted platter and everything. When the incecream gets thrown on the floor as well, Stacey is the kind of parent that then EMPTIES MY ENTIRE EFFING KITCHEN TO FEED HER SPAWN JUST THE PERFECT WITTLE MEAL <3 (side note: Stacey did not contribute to the household food fund at all.)

SD ALWAYS eats what we give her. I am not a short order cook. What I make, you eat, period. SD knows this. She has always been a good eater, never picky, finishes her plate most of the time. Oh but not when super mom Stacey is here!! YAYYY!!!

SD decides she wants to act like Staceys devil spawn and throw a fit at the dinner table. SD is put into timeout until she is ready to eat her dinner with the rest of us. Stacey offers to make her something else. I tell Stacey FIRMLY that that is not going to happen. AND THEN Stacey decides to UNDERMINE ME and state loudly, "well it's PROBABLY too hot for her, (my child) doesn't like spicy things thats why I had to make her (insert grocery list).

FIRST of ALL you stupid hippy bitch, SD hasn't even taken ONE bite of her meal so she would have no way of knowing if it was "too hot". And second of all, SHE EATS THIS ALL THE EFFING TIME. Stacey shut her mouth. SD continued to scream and fight with SO and would not even take a bite of her supper. So you know what? Dinner was done. She had a bath, she played with her toys for a bit, and SHE WENT TO BED.
GASP! Oh the ABUSE! How could I starve this poor innocent child you ask? Oh you don't? That's right, because boo freaking hoo and she was sure as hell willing to eat her breakfast the next morning now wasn't she. That's right, HER breakfast, not the special 10 breakfasts that the demon spawn in the basement demanded.

Well, the next day, Stacey decided she was going to let her "EX" come visit the girls....in my home. VERY early in the morning.

So I wake up to 2 babies screaming and 2 toddlers running screaming through my house, ALL The toys in the living room, oh and the "EX" brought his dog, so that was outside my window barking like crazy.
So, I calmly walked into the living room, and told MY SD "you need to stop that running this second, pick up these toys and put them in your room you know better." SD decided that she was going to throw a fit right there and hide behind Stacey. So I picked her little butt up and put her in her bedroom and shut the door. I told STacey that she needed to control her children. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Fast forward 3 days , Stacey had left for the day with her children (I now realized that she was still with her "EX" and was staying at his house on the weekends with the girls, and using MY house as a convienent brothel for her to sleep with her new guy- cute huh?) I had a VERY bad chest cold. The house was in complete disaster mode and I just wanted to sit down for a moment. OH NO YOU DON'T.

Someone knocks on my door! and I'll be damned if it's not a CPS investigator following up on alagations of ABUSE, from ME. Some of which being that I send SD to bed without dinner (ie she is starved), that I lock her in her room rather than take care of her (her door doesn't have a lock, or evenly properly latch shut for that matter.) I was FURIOUS.

I called BM, she told me she had no idea what was going on so I assumed it had been the EX. He had made clear his distaste for my parenting and I effectively told him exactly where he could go with his opinions.

We THEN find out later down the road that BM had actually called CPS because she had 2 "witnesses" come to her with these accusations. hmmm, 2 witnesses you say?

Yup, it had to have been Stacey and her EX. Stacey moved out almost immediately after the investigation (out of "concern" for her own wellbeing LOL). I have it on good faith that she is back living with her EX, but I digress yet again.

BM then decided to withhold visitation for TWO weeks, pending the investigation. When we finally got ahold of the CPS caseworker, she said that the case had been found unfounded and was closed and that she had never told BM to withhold visitation because there was no concern. yup okay.

So things calmed down a BIT, we resumed our parenting time as usual. SO went to his FOC caseworker and filed a parenting time complaint for the 2 weeks lost and we were waiting to hear something when all of a sudden!!!!.......

We get a letter from BMs lawyer in the mail today stating the following:
First it states their current parenting time schedule as SO having ONE overnight a week when he actually has TWO, sometimes three depending on how the week is staggered. so that was wrong right off the bat.
SO is always late picking up SD for his parenting time, which causes BM to be late for work. LMAO, he usually picks her up from daycare, and when he does pick her up from BM he has been late sometimes but late as in instead on noon he is there at 12:03. LOL.
That BM is trying to potty train SD and SO does not communicate with her to "make it a positive and healthy experince for SD". oh alright, nevermind that she is almost completely PT at our house LOL.
That SO works late nights (especially on the weekends) and then sleeps in very late leaving the primary care to his "fiance" (me) (we're not engaged-yet) (LOL).
That "upon information and belief" (I) maltreat SD3 and call her names and make her paly by herself in her room because I do not want to take care of her. (yup, okay)
That CPS has investigated our home. (they sure did thanks to BM and the stupid hippys).
"BM feels that it is in the minor childs best interests to modify the parenting time for SO that better correlates with his scedule so he can actually be the care provider for SD when she is with him rather than his fiance( again, LMAO).
That CPS has also reccomended a change in parenting time to alleviate these concerns (no they did not.) (the investigator suggested maybe SO would want to change it so I didn't have to deal with further accusations down the line, not because I am actually a child abuser.)
and then the best part:

"BM respectfully requests that the court modify SO's parenting time so as to alleviate these concerns, OR alternatively put in a provision that the defendent shall be present during his parenting time or that an approved upon daycare provider, not his fiance (LOL) watch SD while he is working.

So now, SO has to go in front of a referree in a week and deal with this bullshit.

I would also like to note that I have PAGES of messages between BM and I with her stating how greatful she is that I am in SD's life and that she would rather her be in my care while SO is at work then at daycare ect ect lol blahblah.
Any advice? Suggestions? I feel like I should try to get Stacey to admit to lying?
Also, if you got through all of this BRAVO and I love you <3

Comments

Lalena75's picture

I have somewhat been in your shoes, and I know what it's like I'm sorry your having to deal with it and learn a lesson the hard way. Never take in strays they always have somewhere to go and there will always be some reason someone needs rescued, we have social services for that. I got burned far too many times because my exh had to rescue every Tom, Dick, Harry and Sally, and Sally's bff, and every damsel in distress. They all had somewhere else to go when I would get sick of it and throw them out.
Copy all your documentation. Your friend won't recant she can be made to look like a manipulative liar but it'll likely be a she said she said just say the allegations were false that she made them due to you throwing her out of your home. She can't prove she didn't and let the rest lay where it will. Use your documentation and move on.