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Getting sick of BM and her stupid games...how dumb does she think we are??!

IAmALady77's picture

For about 3 weeks now, every time it is SO's time to have SD BM will text him and ask "do you want SD early today?"

Only she will text him this roughly 3-4 hours before the pick up time...and sorry but we have lives.

Whenever we haven't been busy, I encouraged him to go pick her up early because I assumed that would look good in court, but I know what BM is doing here, she is just trying to use this against him, and I am so angry that I automatically see this as an act of manipulation or a game instead of something nice.

Like yesterday for example, it wasn't even SO's day to have her but BM texts at noon and asks if he wants to take her for a day. Normally that would be fine but we had plans.

I teach yoga and yesterday was our first meditation hike so we were out in the woods/beach (I live near Lake Michigan) ALL day. SO went with me along with my class because he has sciatica and Im trying to get him more into yoga to help with the pain ecct ect lol

Anyway, no service on the lake obviously so when we get back to civilization he has all these texts from BM, "are you going to answer me" "do you want to see your daughter today or not?" ext ext....so unnecessary.

And I know that when we go back to court it's going to be, "well I offer him more time and he never takes it (innocent face)....

So SO texts her back today after she asks yet again if he wants to take her early, he told her that he is busy right now preparing easter stuff for her but he can pick her up early if she doesnt want her.

she says that she'll just keep her until 5 because now she is pissed that he just assumed she didnt want her.

well clearly, you dont if you keep trying to give her to him every other day and then you get mad when he is busy....whatever.

Now shes texting because apparently SO has stolen all of BMs clothes for SD...mmkay it's actually the other way around (she is a hoarder) but ok. He told her she needs to start packing SD an overnight bag so that they don't have to worry about this anymore...we'll see.

Comments

IAmALady77's picture

Update: SO tells her that he needs to talk to her (because we're doing it his way remember before we go to court) and she says "well if its about getting more custody dont waste your breath. then she goes on for the past 2 hours to text him a bunch of nonsense about me and how she has nothing to talk to him about and if it was that important he should have brought it up in mediation and he can talk to her today when he picks up SD....he told her to stop arguing with him. thats it. He was very cordial and ccalm and stopped texting her...ooh there another one. And the system expects US to communicate with this girl...haha yeah right.

Lalena75's picture

I always try and offer my ex more time especially if I take some of his time for activities my family plans on his time. He never asks for more and only once has taken make up time for probably over a dozen times I've had them extra. Now the difference here is I'm not playing games and no reason for us to go back to court over him being a POS dad so it's likely not what you deal with. I would have you DH send BM a clear message that IF he is capable of and wants his daughter early or extra HE will contact her and she can just stop harassing him when he is busy or unavailable. She seems to be trying to get attention and have him at her beck and call using the kid to do so. Taking the request out of her hands and letting DH ask rather than her ask him may help with this.

IAmALady77's picture

Thats a good idea i didnt even think of having him say something like that, thank you Smile

IAmALady77's picture

SO texted her the list in a very nice way of what he needed to talk to her about...Ill put the conversation up later but she totally made an ass of herself...oh happy easter :/ goodness.

CrazieCoconut86's picture

The BM in my case will do that on occasion. She got so pissed when she texted on a Tuesday saying that DH needs to pick up SS4 at 3pm on a Friday, because she had to be at work at 3:30. DH told her No, as he and I both work full time and wouldn't be able to get him until, at the earliest, 5pm.

She apparently threw a major fit, saying that her mom couldn't drop him off and her DH had to work too. Guess who ended up dropping SS off, BM and her mother. I was like, wait, you said your mother couldn't do it and now you have her with you. I hate this woman with my entire being, and I don't really know her.

She texted one day saying that SS wanted to come early. I knew that was bs. SS always throws a fit when he has to leave his precious, abusive, BM. She just wanted to get rid of him.

2Bloved's picture

Hmmmm....I would keep a list/record/snapshot of all the times BM is offering to let you take your SD early or for extra days. Make a spreadsheet. Next time your DH is in court, say "Your Honor, it is evident the BM is willing and agreeable with letting me have my daughter for extra time, so is it possible for custody to be changed to reflect this? In the last month, she has offered me X amount of extra hours/days, and has been consistent about it in the months prior."

Or something like that. Let her show a pattern of behavior, so she cannot contest it.