SD12 was over again this weekend and I actually decided to spend time with her instead of my usual burying myself in my work or other projects to avoid her. Yesterday we all went shopping together, I made dinner, and we spent some quality time talking afterwards. Everything seemed to be going really well. Then we were watching TV and the subject of sleep paralysis came up. I have read about it and have known a few people who have suffered from it, so when SD asked, I explained what I knew about it. She asked why sometimes it's called "the Hag" so I explained that some people report to feel or see a presence physically holding them down, and stories like these have been part of the folklore of almost every culture in the world, but having no personal experience with it, I can't say whether people are lying, are hallucinating and actually believe this, or whether something paranormal really is going on. I told her I tend to not believe in the paranormal but that I keep an open mind.

Well, immediately she got up and went to her room. FH wondered why she just got up and left, and I said I wasn't sure but that she may have been freaked out by what we were talking about. He went to check on her and that's when he found her crying and rocking in the fetal position, refusing to go to bed for fear that she would have a sleep paralysis episode. He told me I had to go talk to her and was angry that I upset her, but he also felt that it was a very age-inappropriate response to the topic on her part. I was laughing at first, because I thought she was kidding around, but then was actually pissed off because this is so typical of her. I swear you can't tell this girl ANYTHING about anything without her thinking that it's going to happen to her. You tell her there are children being kidnapped and forced to be child soldiers in Africa and she literally says "I don't want to be kidnapped and forced to be a soldier!". On the news it says there was a stabbing in another part of the city and she says "I don't want someone to stab me!" She hears about someone she doesn't even know being diagnosed with cancer and she panics that she will get it too. Everything she hears, she turns it into some irrational fear about herself. I thought that nonsense was over with since she's 12, which is why I explained the sleep paralysis thing to her. I thought she was mature enough to handle it. I actually teach kids her age every day and we learn about all kinds of things that may be unsettling or scary, but they don't get all paranoid that it will happen to them. I don't get it!

Then FH and I were talking about it because it seems I can't win with her. I don't talk to her and I'm cold and rude. I spend time with her and end up freaking her out. What am I supposed to do? She has been a little wiggy ever since we got engaged and we have gone through hell with her but she won't admit that it's because of the engagement. Yesterday it marked one year since we got engaged so we were talking about that in the car. We were saying how we were starting to get nervous about the wedding this summer, not about the getting married part but just anxious to see how everything we have planned will play out. We also casually mentioned having kids. I'm sure these are all things that get to SD since she feels like when we get married she will be left behind as we start our "real" family. Her mom is married and has 2 other kids and she doesn't really feel that way about them, but she lives with them full time. We have talked about this with her before and reassured her.

As FH and I were talking, we actually started to think that maybe she was playing up her fear to get attention from us (even though we were paying attention to her ALL DAY!) and possibly even to "get me in trouble" with FH, knowing he'd come downstairs and be angry with me that I upset SD. We showed SD her dad's wedding ring, since we just got it, and she seemed to be happy to be included in things like that, but maybe inside she was freaking out about the wedding. Today, when FH dropped her off, she was asking him in the car if he was nervous about getting married and if he really thought he was ready. At first, he didn't think anything of it, since he thought she was just making conversation, but then he started to think that she was feeling him out for any sense that he may have second thoughts about this marriage. We have been together for almost 9 years, so it's not like we're rushing into anything. That led to him really starting to believe that she was playing a game with us last night to try to get us to fight or at least to pull FH away from me to spend time with her alone. I'm just so tired of these mind games! She still does the baby voice only around her dad, she was sending us childish stick-figure drawings in the mail until it came out that she could actually draw very well and was just pretending to be a baby to get daddy's attention, and the list goes on. I don't even know if she consciously knows she's doing these things, because who does that? But all I know is she is very manipulative and I can't take anything she says or does at face value.

In other news, her mom had arranged what time she was being dropped off today and yet still answered the door pretending to be all groggy and disheveled, wearing nothing but a short robe that barely covered her behind and seemingly nothing else. She was trying to act all modest and pulling it tighter around her, but FH was pretty freaked out (she's fairly overweight and covered in tattoos). BM set the time. She knew FH would be walking SD to the door, that's just gross! Her husband was sitting right there too and didn't say anything. Even though she's married (to a guy she's known for less time than I've been with FH) she hasn't been handling our engagement well either. It seems that she just wants FH to stay single in case things don't work out with her hubby so she can have him back, and it seems her daughter wants the same thing! God, I have to deal with these people forever? FML!