Father's Day was mostly a success.  My daughters 17 +15(his SD's), got my husband small things and made him some whoopi pies and our son 10(our only kiddo together) got him something small.  My husband had to work today and only had a few hours to enjoy so the kids all sat in the living room to hang out with dad...all except my SD16. -_-   (His biological eff'ing kid...)

she actually came down stairs, avoided us to go get her phone and went back upstairs...didn't even say happy Father's Day until DH went in to each the kids rooms when he left for work (he always says bye).  So..when he left--I went to have a very frank chat.

I asked if she knew it was Father's Day-she said yes.  I asked why she wasn't downstairs with us, spending the little time dad had -with him.  So first she states oh well I was asleep, how can I if I'm asleep.  I told her, listen, you being asleep is an excuse-you knew beforehand that it was Father's Day and still sat in your room. I then told her-you were awake enough to go get your phone?! But not to spend time with dad..? She then goes into her primary defense that 'she just wants to be out of the way'...which is bullshit.  I know the kid has issues and is working through them but She is Now milking it to be a pain.  I told her I appreciated her presence the day prior at my family events..that everyone enjoyed seeing her (she has social anxiety but honestly has made many strides and she didn't have a bad time and was talking to ppl) she did not respond to me but if looks could kill..holy hell.  I was calm and told her that she can't keep hiding in her room on her phone because she is not interested in anything that doesn't correlate with her 'group' and their likes/dislikes.  I told her sometimes family stuff is less then fun but we do it out of love and respect which she is lacking.  Her father is not perfect but has done a lot for her and my girls... and my girls treat him better then she does! (I told her this-he has been dad since they were 4,5,6yrs) well she very quickly gathered a few items and suddenly her mom was here to pick her up.  I went out and had to knock on BM's car window to inform her of the shittiness of the kid (she doesn't like the sight of me so tries to ignore my presence(Eat your heart out lady...I digress..) She won't say anything to the kid but I needed her to know how things went down, teens can tend to embellish the situation.  
so she is gone now...and I have sprayed Tons of febreeze in her room (I had to have her shower when she got here because she Smelled horrible of BO)...I also put odor eliminators/good smelling things in her room but have to hide them because she 'doesn't like smelly things..'

Ugh..I disengaged from her but feel like im going to need to be the one that calls her out.  My husband just tried to accept that this is her now but I can't accept that this 16sd is just a jerk and let her be this way.  It's a multifaceted situation because of the dramatic 360 she has done in the last 2 yrs but she needs the feedback of 'hey this isn't ok'. The truth hurts sometimes.