NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE!!
A couple nights ago i went to bed at 11:00. as i'm laying there trying to go to sleep, i hear my ss17 running his mouth, probably on the cell phone his BM got him. he is supposed to be off of the phone at 10:00 on school nights.
needless to say everytime i hear him talk, my frustration level starts to rise. then i start thinking about what he has gotten away with in the past and then i'm just out right angry. so on top of listening to him run his mouth, i'm now so angry that even if i wanted to sleep, i couldn't.
so the next day my DH calls me on his lunch break, which he does daily, and i tell my DH if i'm sleeping on the couch, it's not because of you. (he hates me sleeping on the couch and not with him) so i tell him, i'm not going to lay upstairs and listen to my ss17 run his mouth until the wee hours in the morning. and also since my DH and BM gives him permission to break EVERY rule and also to treat me like i'm a pile of poop, i'm going to inconvenience my DH.
He says, i just told him yesterday that i didn't want to hear his mouth after 10. (and of course not to be on the phone) and then says, we should have insulated our room when we built our house. WTF, shut the kid up and if he can't stay off of the phone, take it from him.
we proceeded to fight for a while about this kid, yet again! I tell my husband to make him grow up and act his age and make the kid follow the rules he has been given. He gets so irrated when i talk about this stuff because it happened in the past and i should be over it. He told me that my feeling were bull sh*t. At one point in the past my DH has told me "if you get so upset about him not following the rules, then pretend he does not have any"....WHAT???
Little does he know that if things are not resolved IN THE PAST, they are a part of my present.
He talked with the SS after he returned home from his girlfriends house yesterday for about 45 minutes. i didn't even ask what they talked about...i don't care anymore.
i am a firm believer of KARMA...i'm just trying to figure out what i've done in the past to be treated this way? :? :-
Anyway, thanks for listening
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YOU ARE MY SOUL MATE!
Honey....You are my soul mate!! I felt like I was reading about my own house, boyfriend and SS while reading your blog. My SS is 20, he is much like your SS17. Disrespectful...spoiled...and has daddy under his thumb!!!!
SS20 does the same thing with talking on the phone...he has his room in our basement and our room is right above where he is. I hear him constantly talking late, late at night. I have tried talking to boyfriend about it, but he says "he doesn't hear him". Of course not....boyfriend has his fan right infront of his face so all he hears is the wind!!!! But boyfriend does the same thing he makes excuses for his son with such outrageous this like your "we should have insulated the room". ARe they really that naive?
I soooooo look forward to chatting with you and comparig "notes". It was very comforting to know that there is someone else who gets frustated just by the sound of sight of Skid. I was beginning to think I was being childish! I cant even sit in our living room half the time because I cant stand to hear his voice or look at him without boiling over and thinking about all the trouble and heartache he has caused me and boyfriend.
I agree with you...
I thought it was me for such a long time and also thought I was being "childish". The things I complain about is just as irritating coming from by BKids. The difference is, my skids (mostly the ss17) think they don't have to listen to a word I say. I have to keep reminding myself that "I" am the other adult in this house and this kid will not push me out.
I have been backed into a corner for a long time by everybody and I think I'm going to have to start clawing my way out.
SAME HERE
Your right...the things my bkids do can be just as irritating; however, I can yell at them and feel like they actually hear me and acknowledge their fault in the situation. I would never let my biokids behave towards boyfriend the way SS does towards me, but boyfriend continuously makes excuses for him. My ss does not see me as an adult in the house, just as his fathers girlfriend. I guess it slips his mind that I too pay the bills in the house which he lives in for FREE.
I'm with you both!
DH cannot seem to get SS16 Zippy to comply with basic hygiene and pick up after himself (the only two rules I really have for Zip)-kid totally ignores me and is rude in the most passive aggresive way beyond belief-
DH was whining the other night about Zippy not complying with meds his Dr. gave him for his acne-Zippy was at the table with us looking smug-when I suggested "DH, why don't you take that XBOX downstairs and put it in our room until Zippy learns to wash his face?" Zippy nearly choked on his food in shock and DH looked at me like this :jawdrop:
Seriously-you would think these kids were Cinderella Prom Princesses and not the next generation of ADULTS (scary huh?)
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
XBOX
I'd like to take my SS's XBOX and throw it out the window!!! I have no problem with KIDS playing video games but when you hit 20 or so playing videos 24/7 is a little upsurd. I think my SS might go into shock if he didnt have his XBOX or withdrawal.
I love that SMILEY
My ss also had/has a problem with personal hygiene. It has gotten so bad in the past that if you even walk past him you were overtaken by the BO smell. Do they NOT smell that?!?
Thinking that these are the next generation is very scary.
NO THEY DONT
No I honestly believe they dont smell them selves. I think its just a male "smell" There have been times when I have to remind my BS11 that it is time to shower!! Or when what I like to refer to as the "boy funk" starts to oozze out of their bedrooms to other living spaces of the house...its time to clean your room.
bed
If I had a step living under my bed my sex life would be in shambles.
These are the cell phone
These are the cell phone rules in my house for SD. This was typed up and she signed it. It doesnt matter if the BM gave him the phone. Its your house and if you say the phone is off after X then thats the rule.
Getting bio parents to follow rules and stick to them is harder than getting the kids to do it. :?
Cell phone rules
Having a cell phone is a privilege. The phone can be taken away as a consequence for things related and unrelated to the phone.
All phone use, including the house phone, ends at 10PM on school nights.
The cell phone will be charged each night in the kitchen. It is to be on the charger at 10:05 each night. This allows 5 minutes to get the phone on the charger. It does not mean talk on the phone and begin saying good bye at 10:05.
The phone is not to be used during the following times:
• During homework hours
• During dinner
• During family functions. (After 1st hour phone use may be allowed if asked and appropriate)
• During school, as according to school policy. School will take phone for 5 days if used. Other home consequences may also occur such as additional loss of home phone privileges.
Consequences can range from loss of phone privileges (cell and home), loss of TV and computer time, to grounding. Length of time may vary but will start in the 2 day range and get longer with repeated offenses.
The best way to avoid any consequences is to not break the rules!
Make sure you understand the rules and if you aren’t sure, ask! Forgetting a rule, forgetting the time etc is not an excuse.
You are MY soul mate!
Can you come to my house and talk to DH? I am SO on board with everything you said, and DH will do none of it. SD15 talks on her cell phone at all hours of the night. It's so annoying to come upstairs and hear SD all the way down the hall in our bedroom. I get annoyed for BDs5 and 2 who have to listen to her because their rooms are closer to hers.
SD has NO limitations on her cell phone use at our house. She will talk on it at dinner, text on it constantly, use it at all hours of the night. She even got an in-school suspension for using it at school and DH let her keep it and continue taking it!
I still struggle with DW and
I still struggle with DW and these rules. I wrote them up and reviewed them with her. I brought them to counseling and our therapist loved them. Then we presented SD with the rules before we reactivated her phone. (She went all summer without one because she broke her 2nd phone in 3 months) But still DW somehow doesnt notice all the times when SD breaks the rules. I have to keep on her to maintain the consistency.
I love it....
I copied it to use. Thanks
Happy you find them useful.
Happy you find them useful. Hope it helps.