Small Victory over PASing BM-ha!
So this made me chuckle so I had to share. Sorry it is a little long, I had to give details to build up to what happened }:)
DH and BM have 50/50 custody but BM always wants more time with SS8 and SS11, as they are her WHOLE UNIVERSE. DH used to try to be flexible but she just wants more and more. Also with the Disney mom/PAS situation going on over there, if they are with her for more than 7 days we always have a very tough week retraining the skids when they get back. To top it off, BM has eluded to trying to take us back to court so finally I was like "why are we doing her favors again? Lets just stick to the CO". And we don't ask her for flexibility either, because we have never gotten it anyway.
So, BM emailed DH on "transfer back to us day" and asks if she can have them back two days early at the end of our week, because they are going on an out of state vacation. (first we have heard of it). However, we already legitimately had plans that weekend as my parents were flying in on Friday from across the country and would be here that weekend to spend with skids. My parents are basically another set of grandparents and the Skids love them. So DH responds "Honeybadger's parents are coming to visit so we will have to stick to the CO that weekend". (I was a little ticked he didn't just say "family" but whatever, that is what made this situation happen the way it did)
She responds something to the effect of "well I guess I will cancel our hotel and travel plans for that weekend. Thanks so much for your willingness to let us go on vacation. I will let the kids know". Which pretty much was her admission of PASing us, and also: WHO books hotels on the opposite parent's week BEFORE talking to the other parent? Probably all lies, but I digress.
So the best part is when she drops the skids off at 5 that day to us, they RUN to me from her car and are absolutely ecstatic "when are honeybadger's parents coming!?!? Are they here now!!?? How long are they here for????" So, obviously BM got to deliver the news that MY PARENTS were coming, thinking she would be dropping them off to us all sullen and upset, it backfired on her and the skids were super excited to see my parents, and didn't care that it meant their vacation with mom was two days shorter (her talking baby talk and treating them like dolls must get old anyway). I look up at her and she is scowling next to her car, so I smiled and waved. I am not a mean or vindictive person, but watching the PAS backfire, now that was AWESOME!
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Comments
Ours does that to They have
Ours does that to
They have rotational custody , they cant even plan sporting events or Dr. apointments on thier time
We have emails where she will plan excursions on the weekends and when DH says no thats my time she sends an email back saying well thats just nice, I just told the kids you are refusing to allow me extra time and fun things and now they are crying and so mad at you,
btw DH has weekends because when they first divorced she didnt want the kids on the weekends, she was in themiddle of trying to "find herself"
Fortunatly shes digging her own grave,
Yes that is horrible! I can't
Yes that is horrible! I can't even imagine how confusing this must be for all the skids that have to deal with this. Ours are already starting to see through it though I think. They "forget" their phone chargers on our weeks so they don't have to deal with bm's constant texts and calls to them when they are here. They are 9 and 11 and she bought them both phones that she uses as a little leash when they are with us.. How disappointing it must be for a skid to learn that their own mother would use their child to get back at their father. All we can do is keep trying to be a positive influence and not taking bm's crap. It is getting better after 3 years of constant vigilant boundary setting but I bet she calls the next week when they are out of state on their vacation and says "we just can't make it back in time from our vacation so we'll bring the kids back two days late" to get us back for the weekend prior when we said no. We are devising a plan for that one of which is warning her that there will be a $120 invoice for our non-refundable summer camp they go to on our weeks if she keeps them. It would be nice if we were all friendly and we would certainly operate differently if the was the case, but all there is is manipulation on her part so now there is no tolerance anymore for changing the rules.