ugghh His kids a freak, he can't put that on you and he can't drop him off aqt BM's, he probably feels like he's supposed to love the little cretin and do right by him and that include F'ing you over I am so sorry I wish we could sue someone for all those years, I wish I could demand damages, I hate this world I am so sorry!!!

just so you don't have to say it and I understand your anger I hope their uhaul gets wrapped around a power pole!!!! hrumphhh

12 year relationship??????? And he pulls THIS!? :jawdrop: You have every right to be drunk- just make sure you set the alarm so you can pull out all the money from your account first thing. Hell, see if you can transfer it online tonight to another account you open. I hope you do nail his balls to the wall! That bastard deserves. Get a killer attorney for sure! Good luck, lady. Stay strong.

He deserves the worst and seeing you improve in life without him and the SS hindering will be just desserts. ST will still be here to hear about his further blunders and your life getting better.

Oh my, I am sorry...not that he left, glad he's gone and his freak kid, but that it was this sudden for you and your bios. It's PATHETIC that he sticks up for some sick kid, who will end up in jail as a pedophile or something anyway and leaves his other kids behind to protect that freak. Absolutely PATHETIC!

DO NOT allow any visitations with your BIO unless they are supervised to ensure the FREAK is not there. Make sure that you have the proof ready so that pedophile stays the heck away from your kids.

I am soooooooooo sorry he's done this to you. Do what you gotta do girl and don't feel even a smidgen bad about it.

I am so sorry!!!!! {{{{HUGS}}}}} from Australia, we are all here for you!!!!!

I am so sorry to hear about all this. I never thought it would turn out this way. Don't stop posting on here. I'm sure everyone wants to continue to support you.

HMO, I am so, so sorry! It seems so unfair after all you have done and put up with and how hard you have tried. It is heartbreaking. Please keep posting, you have a support system here that cares. And definitely do what you have to do.

God knows what might have happened with that dangerous boy in your lives. You and your children really do deserve better and every ending is a new beginning. Sending you {{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

You just had my worst nightmare come true. I'm so sorry. Chamge the locks and stand outside the bank if you have to.

F them, f them all.

Get an attorney now....Don't let him take more than he is entitled to. Also, get an OP on that kid and change the locks immediately.

What an ass!!! You are better off without him.

HMO, I am so sorry to hear what your DH (dick head) pulled on you. All for a kid who is lost and WAY beyond the reach of anything besides intense in-patient treatment - and even then, things would be iffy.

I am sorry that his family is such an ass and that the SS had to try to kick you (and your family) when you are already down.

Use your anger to get what is YOURS and protect what is YOURS. And let the chips fall where they may. He will LONG regret this decision to choose his f-ed up kid over you!

(Please don't leave the site just because of this. It is more than just a step-parent website!)

Oh my goodness! I just saw your post, Im soooo angry for you! Nail his ass to the wall!!! I guarantee he didnt think any of this thru. He made his bed tho, and for that pos kid of his!! What an idiot!!!

We are all here for you!! Dont go anywhere, we will be here. Take the WHOLE bank acct!!! His mommy can take care of him now!!! Lol

Sorry to hear your news, it must be so difficult. I have just left a relationship after 1 year with no kids of our own and like you feel that the kid has won. In the long run, even though it really really hurts now, I will be the better person and so you you. If not, I would have had to live my life pandering to a selfish, greedy, jealous out of control 9 year old who only cares about himself. I know he has had troubles with his Mum not being well but there is no excuse for bad behaviour. Hold your head high and keep concentrating on your happy future with your kids and hope all the drama goes x

I am sorry to here about your DH's bad decision, hugs to you honey!
With that said, KNOW you got the better end of this, I am sorry to say this, but HMO, your DH was damaged goods and you are pretty lucky you will not have to spend a lifetime dealing with all the dysfunction that he is. It has some to do with the brain injury, but, more than that he has a flawed sense of values and his family is completely off their rockers. I believe he will regret this decision, but I KNOW you will not, you will not have to be chauffer, peacemaker, ignored, and disrespected any longer. You will see how much happier you will be without all the crazy that had enveloped your life. Just stay strong and take care of yourself through the initial issues and you will come through this with grace.
When I was going through a hard divorce with my ex, my attny, gave me an analogy, it's kinda silly, but I still think of it. She said that a cactus patch has to be hard, strong, and prickly, but thee beatiful part of that cactus will eventually shine, the fruit will take a long time, but it turns into a beautiful flower. It has to go through a metamorphasis to get there, so out of a tough plant comes a beautiful flower. She told me that I will be that flower, you will too.

I have nothing useful to add other than that I am truly sorry for what you've gone through.

Don't forget to take care of yourself through all of this...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all that crap HMO. I know it must be painful to deal with now, but in the end you'll be much happier than you could ever imagine. Your DH is an idiot for the way he behaved and in the end he'll pay for his poor decisions.
Right now, focus in taking care of yourself and your children and do what you need to do to secure yourselves. A lot of good advice has been given by the others - take it. I wish you all the happiness that you deserve.
Keep us posted.

I'm so sorry! HUG

Take all the money out!

OMG. What as asshole. It may not seem like it now, but in a year, you will sit back and think that your life is SOOO great and you will wownder why you were ever upset at DH leaving. Good Luck and keep us posted.

So sorry to hear this! 12 years of marraige and what I really don't understand is that not only is he up and leaving you, he is leaving his own daughter, who is good kid for a freak show punk.

Karma will get him though when he has nothing left because punk ass SS either winds up in jail or on the streets.. SS doesn't care about your DH, hell no... SS care only about himself, he has proven that time and time again. I hope you stay strong and don't allow your DH to come crawling back, which I highly suspect he will do.

and I agree with others, do whatever you have to do to keep him from having visitation with your daughter. You're not being a PAS witchy BM, you are being a level headed, proactive BM and making sure that your daughter is not left in a situation to be abused or worse by freak show SS.

{{{{{hugs}}}}

I am so sorry ((((((HMO))))))

He handled that so poorly. He did it to be mean. He did it on purpose. It was stupid for him to allow the kid back in the first place after everything. Forget the drugs and the other crimes he could be doing. The kid is a serial rapist in the making. Panty stealing then rubbing it in your daughters face later??? FREAK.

You want nothing to do with this and your future EX will do nothing. He does not have the emotional capacity to deal with this kid. Just wait, when this kid is an adult, his father is going to be taken for everything for the rest of his life.

Get an attorney (put in the agreement that ex has to pay fees - at least a percentage of them) and make sure to report all the perverted and pot smoking behaviors of the skid. Supervised visitation only. The second anything slightly off happens, police report. Anything and everything. As for the underware. You don't know when they went missing. Are there undies missing now that they are gone? I'd call police. I'd say that you have missing items while DH was moving out and you overheard skid say he took underwear and he bragged to your daughter. Perv gets it on record he's a perv.

I am in tears for you His. The little bastard won. God damn him. Tell DH to watch the movie "We Need to Talk About Kevin". That'll give the asshole a jolt. Prayers to you and your precious children- at least you and they don't ever have to deal w/Damien ever again. A pox on DH's family too-SS isn't his only kid.

p.s.-Be there when the bank opens and TAKE IT ALL. Fuck them.

{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}

What everyone else has already said. Also, it used to be that you had to married to a service personnel 20 years or more in order to get 50% of their retirement pension (back when military pension was a protected source of income). That is no longer the case. So when you are discussing his income (if you already have proof or if you have to have it subpoenaed), make sure that is included. Also, if he has any VA income, do not agree (if you can help it) to allow him to use his tax information as POI as all VA income/benefits are non-taxable and will not show up on any tax forms.

(((HUGS))) Your H is a freaking coward!! I am so sorry he did this to you and your family. I agree with everyone else, you deserve waaayyy better, seek an atty immediately, and file for CS immediately. What a terrible thing to do to someone he has been married to for 12 years!! It really is unbelievable! Please stay here and get the support you need. I would hate to see you go.

I have been watching your story and worrying since that little asshole moved back in. I'm so sorry!

But you know what? They DESERVE each other! You and your DD can move on in relief! Good riddance!

Be strong, you will be okay and better!!!

The good ones get out! That means YOU!

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

I am so sorry HMO. I can't believe he chose that crazy kid over a life with you and his daughter. Get a lawyer, change the locks, and don't let him back in.