I would like your all's honest opinions please. I believe i have shared this info on here before, but perhaps not for a long time. I was married previously for 7 years to an older man who had a daughter. I was 21 when we got married, he was 36, and she was 14. Needless to say I was extremely naive, she was a victim of PAS (before anyone knew what it was) so it was not particularly pretty. My dh was not particularly desirious of a relationship with his daughter which I could never understand as I was completely naive so I always pushed for him to have one with her despite her disliking me intensely.

So anywho, this dh died when I was 28. Left me with our two little ones, who were 2 and 9 months. SD lived an hour away and we saw her infrequently as he was not particularly interested nor apparently was she. After he died, I began dating his nephew. Yes, that's what I said. Please understand my first dh was not close with any of his family-we didnt do family gatherings, holidays, visits-nothing. He had no interest in that-had a huge hx of trauma growing up and related it to just not wanting to open old wounds-I respected that. This nephew was my age and I maybe saw him twice in the 9 years I knew my dh-he wasnt present at our wedding and never saw us as a couple (the two times I saw him was me running into him in public). So he essentially he was a stranger to me. He came around after my dh died offering help with this or that as many people did including his father. We had some things in common so hit it off fairly well and became friends, which eventually turned into something more.

Now, current dh and I have no issues with this. We were technically related through marriage (although again were essentially strangers)once that marriage was dissolved through death we were no longer related. This is old stuff and simply not something myself or my current dh think of any longer. I dont think it is a big deal.

Last night I received a message from my former sd. Now actually I received it back in October but I rarely check my inbox on facebook. I havent spoke to this now woman for 13 years. Now, if you follow my stories at all, you will know the difficulty with my sil stealing from dh and my entire family. Sil is of course former sd's cousin. When they were younger as in-20 years ago they hung out together during a brief period when sd lived with us. Other than that they saw each other here and there over childhood. So when all this is going down with sil, after her arrest, she finds former sd, contacts her and evidently spews filth about my dh. She told my former sd that my dh is a drug addict who shoots up drugs, that the credit cards where things he had her get so he could have his drugs sent to her house (unless they send you drugs from the Dollar General Store this makes no sense), and that he made sexual advances to her and slept with their cousin. Now, none of this is new info to me as these are things sil threatened to spread around if dh reported her to the police. She said people would believe her so it didnt matter that it wasnt true.

Along with this sharing of info that sd felt she was doing-she told me how disgusting I was-how disgusting my lifestyle was and compared it to Sodom and Gomorrah. Now, please understand ladies I live a very quiet lifestyle. I go to Church every week, I go to work in the helping professions every day, dont use drugs, maybe have some wine every couple of months-I've never done anything illegal in my life, I pay my bills, and am just totally and completely white bread and boring. Always have been, probably always will be. The wildest things I've done in my life are marrying an older man and then marrying his nephew. She told me that SHE cut off contact with my family years ago (actually I refused to allow her in our gated community because she is a negative, hateful individual)because we sicken her and turn her stomach and she cant be part of that. She also said, "my poor sweet dad". Now again, he could indeed by sweet, but he was also an addict, with tons of mental health issues, who had no real interest in a relationship with her. But as many do she is idolizing him and magnifying their relationship.

I did write back briefly and just state that she has no knowledge of me or what goes on in my family. I dont bother her and appreciate it is she did the same. She is one of those very hypocritical people who like to quote the Bible all the while being vile and nasty. I did tell her I would pray for her (I actually did) that she can find some peace in her heart that she would not feel the need to strike out at others.

What I would like to know-do other people find this unacceptable? That I married a man I was once related to by marriage? We live in a small community and really a few people may have said a few things or they may have talked behind our backs but we never really got any grief. After a difficult marriage and a difficult death I was very happy to have a chance at love again and it was immaterial to me that he was once related to my former husband. It just hit me after all these years to hear these horrible things about ME-it made me question maybe I am the clueless one and that this is something that is totally unacceptable to people? Honest opinions please, but nastiness please. I've had quite enough of that.