BM wants to homeschool
and we’re definitely not ok with that. They have shared legal but decree is from a state where neither live. School starts in 7 days. Registration ends Tuesday
Any and all advice / past experiences greatly appreciated.
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What are the objections
to homeschooling? Are there other options available beyond the traditional public school system? Why does BM want to homeschool? Those are all factors in any advice I have.
My younger two were in a hybrid program (where both my husband and I now work) and it was amazing. The kids went to school two days per week and worked from home three days per week. The curriculum was challenging and they thrived academically and socially.
I assume BM has no
I assume BM has no qualifications to homeschool.
I wouldn't worry about registration ending - if it's a public school they'll take the kid whether they register late or not. But wow, did she only tell you 7 days before school started? That's ridiculous. I hope you're able to get the child into school or otherwise get the situation resolved so that you guys are comfortable with it.
BM is
definitely not qualified to oversee a homeschool program. She has 3 kids. Works 7/12’s and so does her husband. There would be no socializing of any kind because BM’s greatest fear is her children leaving her.
The kids I have seen benefit from home schooling
Are ones where the schools were the problem. Too dangerous, too much bullying. And the parents got support, and did not go into it half prepared. Some states will provide lesson plans, etc. Some parents have formed coops, to pool resources of parents with ability to coach math or art.
Well, if they have joint
Well, if they have joint legal, can't DH register them?
Their decree means nothing if
Their decree means nothing if they've been in the current state for over 6 months and haven't formally registered it with the courts. Do they have 50/50 or does BM have the majority of custody?
DH should take the CO down to the courthouse, pay the fee and register it, until then he is quite powerless to do anything. After the decree is enforced by the state DH can petition to modify it. If BM is working such long hours there is no way she will be able to homeschool. Most homeschooling is done by SAHM's who have the time and desire to constantly be with their kids and oversee all aspects of their education. I did this for a few years, it was fun and also exhausting.
The kids can enter or be yanked from school at anytime, not only during the registration period. DH should tell BM in person and in writing that he is opposed to the idea due to her work and lack of qualifications to homeschool. If she persists DH can consult an attorney and also report the kids as truant to their current school district. Some states have strict homeschooling guidelines and you have to let your district know you are homeschooling and present an outline of their education plan. DH should insist on seeing their curriculm, homework, and daily schedules.
Then if the decree is
Then if the decree is meaningless he should go register them and let BM know he’s not in support of her homeschooling and prepared to go to court about it. Why would he defer to her? In the absence of any CO they have equal rights. BM doesn’t own the kids.
I'm guessing BM has primary physical custody and they share joint legal.
"In the absence of any CO they have equal rights."
Not necessarily, in the absence of an enforcable CO things generally revert to the "status quo" meaning whoever has been providing care and making all the decisions is the one who holds the cards. CO's can be filed with the school but they technically should not accept an out of state CO since it's not enforcable. From my experience BM will have more power in this situation if the kids are primarily with her during the school week and they were living in her school district. Was DH involved with their schooling, teachers, school officials and functions before?
DH does have the power register them if BM hasn't already officially withdrawn them from school. I'm not sure the school would allow children to be withdrawn and registered at the same time. DH's best bet is to hire a lawyer to quickly e-file the CO, have a hearing, and restore his joint legal rights.
Not until the court says
Not until the court says otherwise, they have joint legal, which means DH can go register them.
You are just deferring to BM because she's the mother, I assume? There's no information here to say that they have anything other than 50/50. If I were DH, I'd contact CPS if BM withdraws them from school.
Don't know where you are, but
Don't know where you are, but usually there are homeschooling requirements for parents. Some states havd more stringent requirements than others, but whatever they are BM needs to follow them if she homeschools. My state is very lax and almost anyone can get permission to homeschool.Hopefully you live in a state with stricter rules.
DH needs to talk to his lawyer. Can he refuse to let BM homeschool? Can he have any input nto the homeschooling curriculum used? Can he insist on standardized testing be done by an outside group?
OP- Is your DH going to get
OP- Is your DH going to get an emergency hearing and enroll the kids in school? I feel like this will spiral very quickly.
The decree is from a state where no one lives... do you all live in the same state now? If you are an out of state parent-- Even with 50% legal, you really don't have a shot in this fight. I really wonder why the case was never moved once the kids left the state. That was stupid on everyone's part. Hell, I moved one county over and made sure that it was all transferred.
Spelling correction:
Spelling correction: 'homeskooled'