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RANT: "Helena, my mom has no money."

helena_brass's picture

This is what FSS5 said to me when I asked if they had hung any Christmas lights yet.

Okay, maybe it was a little presumptuous of me to assume that they would hang Christmas lights, but we had just bought lights for our house and the kids were bummed that they wouldn't be able to hang them with us. ANYWAY, while we were dropping off the kids I heard BM ask FSS if he wanted to go get a tree. Without skipping a beat he asked, "Do you have money for that?" She kind of laughed and said yes, she has the money.

Why is a 5 year-old so concerned about money? What is BM saying for him to respond like that? It really pisses me off because I can imagine her using the 'oh poor me we don't have money for that' response rather than just telling the kids no.

This weekend FSD9 also said something like this to FDH. She asked him what the economy was and he got to explaining that it's not doing well right now because a lot of people are unemployed. After he explained what 'unemployed' meant she perked up "Oh yea, like mommy is unemployed." FDH said he had to bite his tongue on that one.

This weekend BM asked FDH to do her a favor as well. Since he's been with me, he writes her checks for the CS (he used to pay her in cash). She asked if he could use the bank's cashier's checks instead. When he asked why she said because the bank wouldn't cash the check he wrote her. I think this is total BS. They both have accounts at the same major bank, and she went to one of THEIR branches. Her request sounds mighty fishy to me, and he agreed.

We did end up hanging our Christmas lights--because FDH wanted to (I was in a bad mood). It's the first time I've ever hung them, and apparently the first time FDH ever hung them. I was really surprised that he'd never hung them when he was married. He said he was never really into the holidays before, and BM was more concerned about getting a big wad of cash for Christmas shopping.

Sorry, but I am SO SO pissed at her. You tell your kids you have no money, but you don't get a job? You tell your kids you have no money, but you live in a big 3 bedroom house that you really can't afford? You tell your kids you have no money, but is that because you're just used to having it handed to you in large lump sums? Just stop playing the victim already, bite the bullet and downsize, and get a frickin job. At least try. I know the economy is very bad, but it kills me that she'll blame her woes on the poor economy when it's her OWN damned fault. UGGGHHH

Comments

Madam Hedgehog's picture

We hear this sort of talk all the time. BM has a 6 figure trust fund and just replaced all of her kitchen appliances with that frigidair stuff.

But she told SS5 she had to sell his bike in a yard sale so that she could afford to take him and his brother to the fair (kids get in free).

She's recently been telling DH's family that she's going to lose her house. Her dad's a millionaire and cuts her checks left and right. All I can guess is that she wants to move into a bigger, better house, and she's realized she can milk the situation for more pity if she makes it look like it's not her choice.

ownedbypedro's picture

I feel bad for your little ss...what a witch she is to be talking to him about grown up issues like money.

She sounds like our bm used to be when the kids were younger..."oh, I have noooooo money...but your dad and sm...they are RICH..." yeah, right you big ugly piece of poo!

So easy for your bm to blame the economy, for her "money issues" when, in fact she sounds like a lazy slug.

forestfairy's picture

Kids shouldn't have to worry about money. Sad

Sounds like her bank account is overdrawn. If she cashes the check, it will go to pay whatever the overdrawn amount is. If she has a cashiers check or money order, she could go to a different bank or check cashing place to cash it. They won't cash personal checks at those places.

helena_brass's picture

Hmm, I hadn't thought of that. I figured it was because they probably put a short hold on checks, like my bank, and she wanted the money ASAP. The CS FDH pays goes straight to her rent. FDH has between the 1st and the 5th to pay CS, and lately he's been paying more toward the 5th because his boss has been paying him late. I assume that her landlord is asking her to be more prompt with the rent, so she wants to cut out the check-hold period.

purpledaisies's picture

Yep same here. Yuckopotamus would tell the boys that dh refused to pay CS all the time. Dh NEVER missed and still never misses a payment. She didn't stop buying the boys things and the latest and greatest things however she would tell the boys it was HER money and that daddy doesn;t pay CS. Yet she didn't have a job so where did that money come from??? :?

So when the kids got older about 10 or so after dh got so tired of hearing poor mom has no money and you don't pay CS (they really had no concept of money or that you had to have money to buy the crap she was buying them), dh finally showed ss16 then 10 i think that was his age it could have been 12, the print out of his payments of cs and that was it. ss took that and ran with it. That was when the boys all of them started to be aware of the things yuck was telling them.

Now yucks poor me doesn;t work on the boys and as they got older they understand that no job means no money and they call her out.

I know that 5 is really too young for that but just try your best til you think he is old enough to understand that you do pay cs and no job = no money.

Newstep's picture

We get the same sob story all the time. SD even told us that us that BM couldn't afford to do Thanksgiving dinner. They somehow managed to pull it off though. Every Monday she comes home it is with a list of stuff she "needs" that coveniently falls on our week. I said no more of this BS her mother can buy her what she needs as well. He pays tons of CS and then for everything else she needs too. So aggravating!!!

NCMilGal's picture

You know what kills me?

The national unemployment rate finally dipped below 9%. Don't get me wrong, 9% is pretty damn high.

BM's town? The unemployment rate is 4.7%. (You can find your town here: http://www.bls.gov/web/metro/laummtrk.htm ) Yet BM has been "unemployed" for 16 months. Even SD15 says that BM thinks she's too good to work just any job. She and her DH are barely making the mortgage!! Why would you NOT flip burgers if that were the only thing available? It's not like she has small children that need day care that would eat her entire salary.

Newstep's picture

That is it they think they are "too good" to work. Our BM works harder to avoid working than she would if she actually got a job!!! The latest is that she is going to move out of her dumpy apartment and into a house. She is going to try to rent a house. Granted she gets 1700.00 per month CS but it would be her, her druggie boyfriend, SD21 who is pregnant and SD12 living in the home. Not one of the adults have a JOB!!! I just don't get it :?