Yelling at an 6 year old

I feel awful. I'm running out of tissues. I'e never turned to an online forum before but I'm coming to the understanding that no one understands what I am going through. This child my step child is 6 years old. He is treated like he is 8 months old. He gets carried around and spoiled and even still talks baby talk. He calls is father da da and his mother mommyeeeeeeee. And no he is not mentally challenged. My husband still cuts his food for him for goodness sake. We had pizza tonight and my husband was getting ready to cut his pizza. Its freaking pizza he his 6 let him pick up the damn pizza and eat it. I lost control of my emotions. The children were eating in the dining room with me while my husband stepped away to use the restroom.

My 2 children are only a year old and they were eating like big girls. Here he goes 6 years old banging on the table screaming for someone to cute his food its to big to bite. He almost knocked over my daughter's sippy cup. I just let my feelings slip. I told him to knock it off and eat his food or walk to the corner that is not how big boys behave. Yes I yelled. I felt my voice crack. He started to throw a tantrum. My husband entered the scene. He wanted to start babying him. I gave him the look of death. He made him sit in his room in time out and throw the biggest tantrum until he could calm down and eat like a big boy. I let my girls play with toys in their play pin. while I had a chat with my husband. I let all of my feelings spill.

If only you where standing outside of our bedroom walls. You would have heard me tell him to man up and be a dad he is raising a future man not a baby. I have dealt with this for long enough. If he want's to keep babying his kid and letting him act like a brat it would be a cold winter's night in hell before he ever felt the warmth between my thighs again. If I have to suffer for his lack of parenting so will he. One day he is going to wake up to an empty bed if he doesn't clean up his act. Don't even give me that i am trying bull shit. You know when your so mad you can feel your race getting hot. And no I didn't just blow up over this one thing. I have been dealing with this for a while and its bubbling to the surface and spilling over.

I got a lovely talking from my step son's mother berating me for yelling at her child. I kindly told her to have a lovely evening and asked her if she would like me to give the phone back to her son or hand it to my husband. I let them hash that out. I let my step son know that I am sorry for yelling but not sorry he got in trouble because that behavior was not acceptable.

After all of that I find myself in the den crying on my forearm. no one understands what its like to deal with someone else's kid that they don't control. our daughters aren't even in the terrible two stage yet and they are more behaved put together. Its getting to me more no than ever. I can't explain.

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"You did the right thing just

"You did the right thing just handing the phone back rather than replying to his ranting ex wife, Id have not taken the call at all."

I'll remember this when MY SS12 "tells on me" to his mom about how I yelled at him for threatening his sister and BS6 :O I have no intention of talking to her - I know she wants to chew my head off, but I'll not give her the satisfaction!

"no one understands what its

"no one understands what its like to deal with someone else's kid that they don't control."

We do. Ohhh we do. Maybe not in your exact situation in your exact way of feeling it, but we get it more than anyone else will.

You have a limit, and there's only so much you can take. When you're pushed past your limit, you snap. It's totally natural to be upset. Don't berate yourself for it.

I felt my blood boiling for

I felt my blood boiling for you. I've been there, flat out screamed at 7 yr old lying little shit ss, told him plain and simple he ever, ever ran lying to his mother, grandmother or anyone else for that matter I'd burn his toys and make him watch. (he told them I back handed him, I don't touch those kids for this reason) he admitted it, admitted he wanted to get me in trouble because then his mom would be mad and I'd have to stop putting him in time out. I was very clear I not only can his mother never tell me what to do but that I don't let liars and thieves in my home just like his thieving big sister (not SO's) isn't welcome for stealing. BM knows better than to try and tell me shit I'd smack that bitch down so hard for daring to speak to me in anything but the meekest of tones.
She threatened me not so very long ago, found the cops at her door and a harassment suit followed by the threat of further legal action if she dared squeak her toe out of line. SO damn well knows I'll bust his balls if he doesn't keep them and her in line. Sometimes you have to be a bitch light their asses up (figuratively) and tell BM to mind her own damn business you'll do as you see fit in YOUR home, she has no say ever.

Hats of to you my friend. You

Hats of to you my friend. You are one bad A stepmom! Teach me your ways lol. Better yet hand one of your lady balls to my husband.

You are my hero! Harrassment

You are my hero! Harrassment suit! Boy, I'd love to do that!

At the time I'd already (with

At the time I'd already (with SO) removed all his toys (horrible behavior at school)This was after the piles of Christmas stuff he got (Santa didn't bring him anything but coal, no shit seriously) BM even put coal in his stocking and his sister told him she wrote Santa on his presents because she felt bad Santa didn't bring him anything. So losing all that brand new stuff would suck. He was getting to start with a clean behavior slate over break that pissed me off so bad (he couldn't even tell me what "back-handing" was) I told him maybe clean slate wasn't going to work. Ugh yes at 6 they can learn to deal with big kid stuff he isn't a baby, raised voices aren't going to kill him. Dadeee needs to get his balls back from BM and his son before they are sleeping together alone.

You would have heard me tell

You would have heard me tell him to man up and be a dad he is raising a future man not a baby

This!!!

Absolutely - I have tried to get this notion across to my OH over and over.

MY ss is now 10. He can't make toast or get a bowl of cereal, because he has been so babied.

I tell him ALL the time - you are raising an adult - NOT a child, he's already a child - the idea is to teach him how to be a man!

Don't beat yourself up. Got 4 dd's - 24, 21, 11 and 8, and two skids - 13 and 10. I have yelled at them all. Sometimes it just has to happen LOL Sometimes you know you blow up and it's wrong, but dammit sometimes it's needed too.

So. Deep breath, shake yourself off and keep moving forwards honey, you have nothing to be ashamed of and have done nothing wrong. And do not talk to BM again. She has NO say in your house.

Reading through the comments

Reading through the comments is the first time in a while I laughed and felt the weight shift from my shoulders. People understand!!! It feels so great to know there are people out there who get it. I have friends that don't have any clue what it is like to be a step parent but have a whole lot to say and it just makes me feel worse. I was so nervous I was going to receive that kind of feedback. People actually get it thank the heavens! It just feels so freeing to be understood. I have a thing or two to learn from all of you.

It's a great feeling isn't

It's a great feeling isn't it!

Stick around, just knowing there are others who are going through it helps ease the burden.

Don't listen to your friends, they have NO idea.

Sometimes it takes going off the deep end a bit and yelling to get their attention! Hopefully your DH will wake up and start being a parent.